Mera bhut dil kr rha tha ki usse baat kru lakin himmat nhi prh rhi thi. Dil yeh bhi kehta tha ki uski seat ke piche jakr baith jau lakin roz ki aadat jo prhi hui thi pichne baithne ki aur yeh baat ka bhi darr tha ki sb ko lagega mai sunaina se flirt krne ke liye piche baitha hun. mere man mei do hi dino mei uski bhut jyaada izzat bn gyi thi. Aaj bhi maine bhut koshish ki lakin meri himmat hi nhi hui usse baat krne ki. Bs piche baitha usko dekhta rehta tha. Aur man hi man sochta tha ki kaash wo hi muje bula le. Us din mai jaanbuj kr last lecture mei darwaze pr khara rha ki shayad aj fir se takkar ho jaaye lakin aisa kuj bhi nhi hua. Aaj bhi man mei khushi to thi lakin usse baat na krne ka dukh bhi tha.Mai chahe jitni b koshish krta tha lakin usse baat krne ki himmat nhi juta pata tha.

Aise hi din beet te gye. Roz aise hi hota ki main sbse pehle aa jaata aur uske intezaar mei baitha rehta. Wo seat pr baithti aur mujhe briya si smile krti. Mai bhi usko jawaab mei bri si muskurahat de deta. Aur phir saara din bs uske khyaalon mei khoya rehta tha. Parhai ki taraf mera dhyaan lagta hi nhi tha kyunki saara din bs uske hi khyaal mere dil aur dimaag mei goomte rehte the. Mai parhai mei bhi bhut peeche rehne laga tha. House tests mei mere pehli baar sbse kam marks aaye the. Lakin us waqt mujhe laga ki mere zindagi mei is waqt sbse jyada jaroori sunaina ka pyaar hai jise mai haasil krne mei ab tak nakaam rha tha.

Kyi mahine aise hi bet gye .Lakin mere darpok dil aur dimaag sunaina se khul kr baat nhi kr paaye.Aur naa hi sunaina ki taraf se koi baat aage bri. Final exams aane mei bas ik hi mahina baaki thaa. Mera kaam roz ki routine mutabak chal rha tha ki sunaina aayegi aur mujhe smile kregi aur mai dekhunga aur mai bhi smile krunga aur bass sara din usse batein krta aur hassta khelta dekhta rhunga.Phir aakhirkar ik din jab college khatm hone vala tha aur sb jaa rhe the to sunaina ne mujhe bula hi liya.

Sunaina- hello sagar...sunaina ne bre pyaari aawaz mei bulaya

Me- yes sunaina ji....maine dil ko sabhalte hue jawaab diya

Suanina- aur phr exams ki tayaari aacchi chal rhi hai?

Me- haan bilkul...aur aapki? mai harbharat mei bola.

Suanina- bas chal hi rhi hai...usne mooh niche krte hue dheemi si aawaz mei kaha.

Me- Aur batayiyee? main himmat krke bas itna hi bol paaya.

Sunaina- bs sbh aacha....haan mujhe apki yeh book chahiye thi...library mei maine bhut dhoondhi lakin lagta hai khatm ho gyi hain. so plzz kya aap mujhe de skte hai ik din ke liye yeh book.

Me- jaroor jaroor...maine fatafat haan mei sir hilate hue bola

Sunaina- promise ki kal vapis kr dungi. apki study khraab nhi hone dungi....sunaina damdaar aawaz mei boli.

Me- itz okz sunaina ji....aap jitni der chahe rakh lijiye.

Sunaina- aur kuj??? sunaina jaise mujhse aur baat krna chahti thi.

Mai itna sehma hua tha ki mujhse kuj bola nhi ja rha tha. na jane uske saamne mujhe kya ho jaata tha ki hazaro baatein jo mere dimaag aur dil mei kaid hoti thi bs uske saamneaate hi jubaan pr aakar jaise ruk si jaati thi. Main kuj bolne hi vala tha ki

Sunaina- chalo .kal milte hai phir.... usne mere hathon se book pakarte hue kaha.

Me- okzz...byee..take care.

Jab vo gyi to maine apne aap ko bhut kosa ki itna aacha mauka maine gawa liya. usse bhut der baat kr skta tha. Maine soch liya ki kal ko chahe jo marzi ho jaaye mai usse khuil kr baat krunga aur usse aur jaanuga.

Akhir kal ka din aaya aur mai uski wait kr rha tha. Wo aayi lakin aaj uske chehre se khushi gayaab thi. hamesha taazgi se khila rehne vala chehra aaj mayoosi aur dukh mei murjaya lag rha tha. Lakin aaj bhi apni seat pr baithte hue wo mujhe smile dena nhi bhuli. aur maine bhi halki si muskurahat de di. Mai usse puchna chah rha tha ki kya baat hai. lakin roz ki tarah himmat nhi ho rhi thi. Poora din aise hi beet gya. Lakin mai last lecture mei baagta hua uske paas gya aur pucha

Me- aap theek to hai sunaina ji?

Sunaina- shukr hai aapko hamara khyaal puchne ka waqt to laga. uski aawaz mei dard tha.

Me- nhi aisi baat nhi hai. aapki tabhyat kuj theek nhi lag rhi.

Sunaina- nhi bas...aacha yeh apki kitaab. apka bhut bhut thanks. wo mujhe meri book pakrate hue boli.

Me- thanks ki koi jaroorat nhi hai. Aur agar age bhi kabhi kisi cheez ki bhi jaroorat pre to batana.

Sunaina- shukriyaaa......usne smile to ki lakin us muskurahat mei pehle jaisi baat nhi thi.

Aur phir wo aur kuj na kehti hui apne ghar ki taraf ravana ho gyi. mai bhi uske bare mei sochta sochta apne ghar ki taraf chal prha.. ghar pr pahucha aur saara samaan table pr rkha aur apne kamre mei jakar main uske aaj ki haalat ke barein mei sochne laga . Aaj jaroor usse kuj dukh tha jo wo batana chahti thi lakin keh nhi payi. Mai ik number ka buddhu hun jo usse puch bhi nhi paaya. Maine us din apne man ko pakka kiya ki maine kal to bs krni hi krni hai baat chahe jo bhi ho jaaye. maine apne man ko aache se tayaar kr liya.

Agle din mai subah phir se jaldi tayaar hua aur college time pe pahuch gya. Lakin aaj mai kuj badla sa tha. Maine mann ko pakka kiya tha ki mai aage jakar hi baithunga uske peeche aur aaj uske saath sara din baatein krunga.Isliye mai uski seat ke peeche jaakr baith gya. Ik-ik karke roz ki tarah sabhi ladke-ladkiyan aate gye lakin wo aaj bhi time pr nhi aayi. MAine socha late ho gyi hogi aur aa jayegi. Lakin Pehle lecture se doosra lecture aur phir teesra wo nhi aayi. Mera man bhut niraash hua. Hey bhawaan aj ke din hi aisa krna tha. Mera mood off ho gya tha aur mai niraasha ke saath ghar lota.

Agle din bhi aisa hi hua. Mujhe kuj samaj mei nhi aa rha tha. Maine pehle kabhi bhi kisi se uske baare mei baat nhi ki thi. Lakin jab ik hafta ho gya aur wo college nhi aayi to maine uske saath baithi saheliyon se puch hi liya jinka naam tha shweta aur rani.

Sagar- excuse me.....maine shweta ko bulaya

shweta- yes....shweta ne meri baat ka jaawab diya.

Sagar- wo jo ladki hai sunaina wo ajkal kyun nhi aati? maine uski khaali seat pr ungli se ishaara krte hue kaha,

Shweta- apko nhi pata...uski shaadi ho gyi hai aur wo to foreign b chali gyi.

Yeh sunte hi jaise mere pairon tale zameen nikal gyi. mere sapno se sajaya hua pyaar ki itoon se bna mahel jaise ik hi pal mei is tofaan se mitti mei mil gya. Maine usse aur kuj nhi pucha aur mai usi waqt apni seat pr vapis peeche pahunch gya. Class mei itna shor ho rha tha lakin mere kaano mei ajeeb sa sannata shaaya hua tha. gala jaise sukh sa gya ho aur jubaan jaise ik jagah pr jam gyi ho. Main us din chupchap bina kisi se jyaada baat kiye apne ghar pahunch gya.

Ghar jaakar maine bhut der tk socha ki yeh zindagi ne mere saath kaisa khel khela hai? hey bhagwaan yeh kya kiya tune? pehli baar zindagi mei kisi ke liye itna tarfa hun aur tune usko hi mujse door kr diya. aur mujhe sunaina pr bhi abh gussa aane laga tha. Pyaar krne se pehle hi wo bewafai kr gyi thi. Agar usne shaadi krni hi thi to mujhe bata kr jaati. roz mujhe smile dena aur mujhe apne kareeb lane ka kya matlab tha. Maine bhut sapne saja rkhe the lakin ik hi pal mei wo khatm ho gye. Maine us din apne man aur dil ko bhut samjaya aur bhut royaaa. lakin maine ik baat teh kr li agli subah se mai phir se normal ho jayunga.

Ik nyi subah aayi aur aaj mai phir se pehle jaisa hone ki koshish krne laga. late college jaana aur thora bhut parna aur bas doston ke saath gappe maarte rehna. Dheere dheere meri zindagi patri pe aani lagi thi. Sunaina phir kabhi us college nhi aayi. Phir exams ke din nazdeek ate gye aur hum sb parhai mei dhyaan lagane lage.Main bhi abh apni pichli kami ko poora krne ke liye din-raat ik krke parne laga.

Phir ik din jab mai ik kitaab pr rha tha to uske page no 143 pr pahuncha. Mujhe us page mei ik kagaj ka tukra dikhai diya jo murra hua tha. maine jaldi se use khol kr dekha to us pr kuj pen se likha hua tha. jab maine poora khola to jo us pr likha tha use prte hi bhut zor ka jhatka lga...

"Dear Sagar
Mai roz is umeed mei college aati hun ki tum mujhe kisi na kisi din apne dil ki baat aakar jaroor Batayoge. lakin Itne din guzr jane ke baad mujhe ehaas hua ki mujhe yeh baat tumse khud hi keh deni chahiye. Shekhar mere parents meri shaadi jabardasti kr rhe hai. Main unko hazaar baar mna kr chuki ho lakin wo meri ik bhi baat hi sunte.Mai usse shaadi nhi krna chahthi kyunki mujhe Tum pasand ho sagar I LOve YOu Sagar" I LOVE YOU ALOT.....Agar tum bhi mujhe pyaar krte ho to jaldi se is number pr mujhe call kro. XXXXXXX.Agar tumne call nhi ki to mai samaj jayungi ki tum mujhse pyaar nhi krte aur mai apne parents ki baat khushi se maan lungi.Par Mai wait krungi tumahri call ka sagar.
With Love
sunaina"

Yeh wohi book thi jo maine sunaina ko di thi.Mai isse parkr ikdum sunn ho gya tha. Meri kismat ne Mujhe dokha de diya tha. Maine us din bhagwaan ko aur sunaina ko bhut kosa tha lakin aaj mujhe uska jawaab mil gya tha ki Unki bhi koi galti nhi thi. Meri aankhon mei aansu phir se behne lage. Main zor zor se rone laga aur bhawaan se kehne laga " kaash wo waqt lota de mujhe.....ik mauka aur de de bhagwaan".

"sagar..Wo bill mang rhe hai..." Phir mujhe yeh aawaz sunayi di jo chef ki thi. Wo ladka aur ladki bill mang rhe the aur maine apni ankhon ke aansu poche aur bill lekr unki aur chal prha.

Table k paas aate hi us ladke ko maine bill pakraya aur Wo ladki apne purse se paise nikale hi vali thi ki us ladke ne uska naam lete hue use roka "sunaina mai dungaa" aur vo apni pocket se bill ke paise aur mujhe 20 rs ka note tip ke roop mei table pr rkhkr Utha aur phir wo dono hathon mei haath daalkr restaurent se bahr chale gye..

Maine unhe tabh tk jaate dekta rha jab tk ki wo poori tarah se ankhon se ohjal na ho gye ho aur bas yehi duaa krta rha ki kaash aaj meri sunaina bhi aise hi mere paas hoti....Agar maine himmat dikhayi hoti aur bas man mei hi sapne na sajata rehta. mera dil phir se aaj cheek cheek kr kehne laga ki" Kaash...Wo Waqt Laut aaye.....Aur mai apne galtiyon ko sudhaar kr apne pehle pyaar ko haasil kr paun"[email protected]