Dawn at Midnight.
Book 2: Blistered Feet. Chapter 7: Judas Kiss
The person whom I embraced, was never mine,
Not even for a moment, I fathomed he was not mine.
His heart descended on my eyelids
His love beckoned me and tapped my heart.
The garland he graced me was of lie and deceit
Yet I could not apprehend that he was not mine.
Maithili was expecting her childbirth on first week of October. I planned to be present during her childbirth. I was very much concerned about the health of my adorable Churni. Her health was deteriorating day by day.
One evening I was arranging our cupboard, I observed a small box wrapped in a gift wrapper. At first, it dawned to me that, probably Himadri brought some present for me for my birthday, but somehow he forgot to present me. I opened the packet; it contained a very beautiful gold pendant. I was very happy to see that pendant, a tiny rose embalmed in a heart shape. It was costly. There was nothing written on the packet. I kept the gift pack at its place and did not utter a word about that. Days passed, he did not mentioned about the pendant. I was surprised and felt heavyhearted by his behaviour. Then one day, I opened the cupboard to search for that gift box, but to my sheer surprise, the gift packet was not present in the cupboard. I was very much puzzled, as I could not find the gift-wrap. I was at my wits end as where the gift-wrap could go.
One night, as usual Himadri was late. My mother-in-law started pestering me to call his office, as it was getting cold outside. I called to his mobile; it was out-of-reach. I then made a call to his office. The caretaker picked up the phone after few minutes of ringing. I asked him about the whereabouts of Himadri. To my utter surprise, the answer shook my nerves.
“Madam, Karmakar Sir left office at one o’clock.” He answered.
---“Do you know where he has gone?”
---“No Madam. He leaves office early, almost every day. He said that, you are not pulling well, Madam. He said that you are ill. How are you Madam now?”
I closed my eyes and held my breath upon hearing the bitter excuse. I felt a hot brewing lava surge out from my chest and ran through my throat to my face. “Where he could be? Is there any other woman in his life for whom he bought that pendant? Have I lost the right to ask him?” all these thought raced in my brain.
Himadri returned late, my mother-in-law asked him about his whereabouts. He did not answer anything to her. I sat alone with his dinner on the dining table. He sat quietly on the dining table and started to eat. I was unable to look at his face. Angst and pain was running through my veins. Every second every heartbeat was uttering to me “Suchi, you have been deceived, bitterly.” I thought to ask him about the gold pendant, and then I thought I must have enough proof to nail him.
On last week of September, I packed my bags to goto my native place. Maithili was pulling fine.
I called to Maithili the day before I was to reach my village.
---“I am coming to take care of you.”
She answered in a weak voice---“Ok, come quick. I am waiting for you. I want to see you.”
I tried hard to control my tears on hearing those words from her lips. I clenched my fist and pressed on my lips “God, save her.”
---“Nothing will happen to you Churni, I am coming.”
Niladri accompanied me as usual to my village. We went by Coal-field as usual.
Niladri asked me---“Boudi, what has happened to Maithili Di?” He knew about her ailments.
---“It is some gynecological problems which happens in most of the woman.”
---“She will be alright, Boudi?”
I did not know the correct answer but I gathered myself---“Yes, definitely, she will be alright.”
---“I have something to ask you, Boudi.”
---“What?”
---“For past few days, you are very pale and this time it is not the pain of loss but it is something else.”
I felt a spin inside my head as those words hit my ears like huge stone. I thought for few minutes “Should I ask for his help? He is the only person who can help me.”
---“I need to ask you something. I need a favour Niladri.”
He gave a sweet smile---“Anything for you Boudi.”
I had to gather myself up before placing my acquisition in front of him that also about his brother.
He gave a queer look at my face on seeing me, lost in my thoughts.
---“What happened, Boudi? What are you thinking?”
I mumbled for words and then gathered up myself---“You are aware that your brother returns late from office.”
He nodded his head “Yes, so? He might be occupied with his office works.”
I took a deep breath---“I called his office, few days back. I came to know, that he left his office long before. He returned late that day. I also came to know he leaves early from his office, very often on the pretext of my illness.”
He gave a queer look at me---“What do you mean to say, Boudi? Are you suspecting my brother?” His gaze was saying that he was unable to believe what I was saying to him.
I gently nodded my head---“Niladri, I am skeptical about his current behaviour.”
---“But why?”
My gaze was fixed on my lap. My pulse rate was running high---“I found a gold pendant in the cupboard, which was gone after few days. It was not for me.” I gave a pleading look at him “I want your help, to find the person to whom the gold pendant was presented.”
He almost snapped at me---“Boudi, you are making a dire acquisition on my brother. I must have known if he would have done such acts. He would have told me in his inebriated state. But he has not divulged anything to me.”
I was in a sheer pain---“My sixth sense saying this to me, Niladri. I hope; this does not come true.”
He gave a burning look at me---“I will keep a tab on him, Boudi. Do not worry.”
He brought his face near me and chewed his last words---“If this is true, then I will forget that he is my brother. And if this is proved wrong then…..”
I was very much agitated by his words---“Niladri, this is only an assumption. Please do not do anything stupid.”
He shook his head and rest of our journey was a very silent one.
Before returning back, Niladri touched my hand and said---“Boudi, I will keep an eye. Take care Boudi.” His eyes were glistening in anger and pain.
Meghna Boudi and all others were happy to see me. Maithili was very weak and she was virtually bedridden. On seeing me, she smiled at me. It was her last week before her expected date of childbirth.
I gently rubbed her forehead. I held her head on across my bosom---“Nothing will happen to you, till I am here.”
She sobbed in my warm embrace---“Promise me one thing Paree?”
I knew what she would ask from me yet I nodded my head.
Her weak frame trembled; voice choked my ears---“Look after my child if something happens to me.”
Her words made my eyes hazy; I pressed my lips on her head. I cried out softly---“Churni, nothing is going to happen to you.”
---“I want to say something to you before I goto hospital.”
I pressed my fingers on her quivering lips---“I will hear those words once you come back with your child.” My heart was bleeding with pain and tears flooded my cheeks and soaked her forehead.
I wiped my tears and asked Subroto Da---“What the gynecologists are saying?”
---“The last USG report suggests that the umbilical cord is wrapped around the neck of the baby and more grave is that the placenta is inverted. The operation would be somewhat critical.”
I looked at Maithili; she gave a painful smile at me. I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes.
She was admitted to hospital on the first week of October. She was experiencing her birth pangs. To my sheer surprise, I found Arunima to be also present. I gave a courtesy smiled at her. We met for the first time in last eight years. She felt bit awkward and tried to avoid me.
Maithili was taken to the operation theater; we sat outside, dipped in tension. I continuously wiped my eyes, clenched my fist to my bosom, and prayed to God all the time. A series of huge turbulent waves were sweeping across my chest and flooding my bosom.
Those five hours, waiting outside the operation theatre seemed to be endless. Subroto Da was loitering all along the corridor, anxiously waiting for news. He was very nervous, so was I.
At last, the nurse came out and called the name of Subroto Da, I ran to her. My eyes flooded as I saw a little baby wrapped in a white flannel in her arms. I took that child in my arms and gently placed my lips on its forehead. Few drops of tears soaked her tiny forehead. It was a baby girl. After sometime, the doctor came out and said that the caesarian was a successful one. I asked the doctor as when could we see Maithili. They said that she was still unconscious. Lots of blood had been drained, but she was out of danger.
In the evening, Maithili regained her consciousness; I sat by her side all the time. Baby was in the nursery under blue light. She was sleeping as if a beautiful pearl flooded in the blue moon light.
I smiled at Maithili and kissed her forehead. My eyes were glistening on seeing a faint smile on her lips---“My sweet Churni. You are ok.”
Subroto Da came and sat beside her on the bed. He gently rubbed his palm over her head---“Get well soon, your daughter is waiting.”
After few days, Maithili returned along with her baby. I was in a pure ecstasy. The life of my sweet sister-in-law was completed in a full-circle. She was a good wife, good daughter and then a good mother. The sight of Maithili’s beautiful face made me writhe in pain. I have failed myself in all the fronts of my life. At times, when I was alone in my room, I used to feel the pain of void and emptiness in my womb. The soft ripples have not died even after three years.
Book 2: Blistered Feet. Chapter 7: Judas Kiss
The person whom I embraced, was never mine,
Not even for a moment, I fathomed he was not mine.
His heart descended on my eyelids
His love beckoned me and tapped my heart.
The garland he graced me was of lie and deceit
Yet I could not apprehend that he was not mine.
Maithili was expecting her childbirth on first week of October. I planned to be present during her childbirth. I was very much concerned about the health of my adorable Churni. Her health was deteriorating day by day.
One evening I was arranging our cupboard, I observed a small box wrapped in a gift wrapper. At first, it dawned to me that, probably Himadri brought some present for me for my birthday, but somehow he forgot to present me. I opened the packet; it contained a very beautiful gold pendant. I was very happy to see that pendant, a tiny rose embalmed in a heart shape. It was costly. There was nothing written on the packet. I kept the gift pack at its place and did not utter a word about that. Days passed, he did not mentioned about the pendant. I was surprised and felt heavyhearted by his behaviour. Then one day, I opened the cupboard to search for that gift box, but to my sheer surprise, the gift packet was not present in the cupboard. I was very much puzzled, as I could not find the gift-wrap. I was at my wits end as where the gift-wrap could go.
One night, as usual Himadri was late. My mother-in-law started pestering me to call his office, as it was getting cold outside. I called to his mobile; it was out-of-reach. I then made a call to his office. The caretaker picked up the phone after few minutes of ringing. I asked him about the whereabouts of Himadri. To my utter surprise, the answer shook my nerves.
“Madam, Karmakar Sir left office at one o’clock.” He answered.
---“Do you know where he has gone?”
---“No Madam. He leaves office early, almost every day. He said that, you are not pulling well, Madam. He said that you are ill. How are you Madam now?”
I closed my eyes and held my breath upon hearing the bitter excuse. I felt a hot brewing lava surge out from my chest and ran through my throat to my face. “Where he could be? Is there any other woman in his life for whom he bought that pendant? Have I lost the right to ask him?” all these thought raced in my brain.
Himadri returned late, my mother-in-law asked him about his whereabouts. He did not answer anything to her. I sat alone with his dinner on the dining table. He sat quietly on the dining table and started to eat. I was unable to look at his face. Angst and pain was running through my veins. Every second every heartbeat was uttering to me “Suchi, you have been deceived, bitterly.” I thought to ask him about the gold pendant, and then I thought I must have enough proof to nail him.
On last week of September, I packed my bags to goto my native place. Maithili was pulling fine.
I called to Maithili the day before I was to reach my village.
---“I am coming to take care of you.”
She answered in a weak voice---“Ok, come quick. I am waiting for you. I want to see you.”
I tried hard to control my tears on hearing those words from her lips. I clenched my fist and pressed on my lips “God, save her.”
---“Nothing will happen to you Churni, I am coming.”
Niladri accompanied me as usual to my village. We went by Coal-field as usual.
Niladri asked me---“Boudi, what has happened to Maithili Di?” He knew about her ailments.
---“It is some gynecological problems which happens in most of the woman.”
---“She will be alright, Boudi?”
I did not know the correct answer but I gathered myself---“Yes, definitely, she will be alright.”
---“I have something to ask you, Boudi.”
---“What?”
---“For past few days, you are very pale and this time it is not the pain of loss but it is something else.”
I felt a spin inside my head as those words hit my ears like huge stone. I thought for few minutes “Should I ask for his help? He is the only person who can help me.”
---“I need to ask you something. I need a favour Niladri.”
He gave a sweet smile---“Anything for you Boudi.”
I had to gather myself up before placing my acquisition in front of him that also about his brother.
He gave a queer look at my face on seeing me, lost in my thoughts.
---“What happened, Boudi? What are you thinking?”
I mumbled for words and then gathered up myself---“You are aware that your brother returns late from office.”
He nodded his head “Yes, so? He might be occupied with his office works.”
I took a deep breath---“I called his office, few days back. I came to know, that he left his office long before. He returned late that day. I also came to know he leaves early from his office, very often on the pretext of my illness.”
He gave a queer look at me---“What do you mean to say, Boudi? Are you suspecting my brother?” His gaze was saying that he was unable to believe what I was saying to him.
I gently nodded my head---“Niladri, I am skeptical about his current behaviour.”
---“But why?”
My gaze was fixed on my lap. My pulse rate was running high---“I found a gold pendant in the cupboard, which was gone after few days. It was not for me.” I gave a pleading look at him “I want your help, to find the person to whom the gold pendant was presented.”
He almost snapped at me---“Boudi, you are making a dire acquisition on my brother. I must have known if he would have done such acts. He would have told me in his inebriated state. But he has not divulged anything to me.”
I was in a sheer pain---“My sixth sense saying this to me, Niladri. I hope; this does not come true.”
He gave a burning look at me---“I will keep a tab on him, Boudi. Do not worry.”
He brought his face near me and chewed his last words---“If this is true, then I will forget that he is my brother. And if this is proved wrong then…..”
I was very much agitated by his words---“Niladri, this is only an assumption. Please do not do anything stupid.”
He shook his head and rest of our journey was a very silent one.
Before returning back, Niladri touched my hand and said---“Boudi, I will keep an eye. Take care Boudi.” His eyes were glistening in anger and pain.
Meghna Boudi and all others were happy to see me. Maithili was very weak and she was virtually bedridden. On seeing me, she smiled at me. It was her last week before her expected date of childbirth.
I gently rubbed her forehead. I held her head on across my bosom---“Nothing will happen to you, till I am here.”
She sobbed in my warm embrace---“Promise me one thing Paree?”
I knew what she would ask from me yet I nodded my head.
Her weak frame trembled; voice choked my ears---“Look after my child if something happens to me.”
Her words made my eyes hazy; I pressed my lips on her head. I cried out softly---“Churni, nothing is going to happen to you.”
---“I want to say something to you before I goto hospital.”
I pressed my fingers on her quivering lips---“I will hear those words once you come back with your child.” My heart was bleeding with pain and tears flooded my cheeks and soaked her forehead.
I wiped my tears and asked Subroto Da---“What the gynecologists are saying?”
---“The last USG report suggests that the umbilical cord is wrapped around the neck of the baby and more grave is that the placenta is inverted. The operation would be somewhat critical.”
I looked at Maithili; she gave a painful smile at me. I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes.
She was admitted to hospital on the first week of October. She was experiencing her birth pangs. To my sheer surprise, I found Arunima to be also present. I gave a courtesy smiled at her. We met for the first time in last eight years. She felt bit awkward and tried to avoid me.
Maithili was taken to the operation theater; we sat outside, dipped in tension. I continuously wiped my eyes, clenched my fist to my bosom, and prayed to God all the time. A series of huge turbulent waves were sweeping across my chest and flooding my bosom.
Those five hours, waiting outside the operation theatre seemed to be endless. Subroto Da was loitering all along the corridor, anxiously waiting for news. He was very nervous, so was I.
At last, the nurse came out and called the name of Subroto Da, I ran to her. My eyes flooded as I saw a little baby wrapped in a white flannel in her arms. I took that child in my arms and gently placed my lips on its forehead. Few drops of tears soaked her tiny forehead. It was a baby girl. After sometime, the doctor came out and said that the caesarian was a successful one. I asked the doctor as when could we see Maithili. They said that she was still unconscious. Lots of blood had been drained, but she was out of danger.
In the evening, Maithili regained her consciousness; I sat by her side all the time. Baby was in the nursery under blue light. She was sleeping as if a beautiful pearl flooded in the blue moon light.
I smiled at Maithili and kissed her forehead. My eyes were glistening on seeing a faint smile on her lips---“My sweet Churni. You are ok.”
Subroto Da came and sat beside her on the bed. He gently rubbed his palm over her head---“Get well soon, your daughter is waiting.”
After few days, Maithili returned along with her baby. I was in a pure ecstasy. The life of my sweet sister-in-law was completed in a full-circle. She was a good wife, good daughter and then a good mother. The sight of Maithili’s beautiful face made me writhe in pain. I have failed myself in all the fronts of my life. At times, when I was alone in my room, I used to feel the pain of void and emptiness in my womb. The soft ripples have not died even after three years.