Pyaar kya hai ?? ye ek bohot hi mushkil sawaal hai.. jiska jawaab shabdo me de pana mushkil hi hai. sadiyo se pyar ka silsila chala aa raha hai par phir bhi aaj tak koi bhi pyaar ki sahi sahi paribhasha nahi de saka ki aakhir pyar hai kya ? har vyakti ki najar me pyar ki alag hi paribhasha hoti hai shayad yahi nahi samjh saka main… aur yahi soch kar main khud ko uska gunehgaar manta hu. Kyu maine use pyar ka asli matlab nahi samja paya. Kyu maine samaaj ki parwaah ki.. wo samaaj jisne aaj use mujhse door kar diya. Wo abhagi thi aur abhagi hi rah gayi….
Aaj meri shaadi ki 3rd saalgrih hai aur main kasam khayi thi ki main kabhi bhi usko yaad nahi karuga par uski yaad hai ki dil se jaane ka naam nahi leti. Har waqt har lamha mujhe meri naakami ka ehsaas karwati hai… Kya kami rah gayi thi ? kya nahi kiya tha maine uske liye… phir usne kyu kiya mere saath aisa ? apni chhoti behan apni bachhi ki tarah se pala tha maine use phir kya kami rah gayi.. ? kyu nahi wo mujhe samjh saki ? kyu usne mere baare me aisa socha ?
20 saal ki thi jab main use apne ghar par le kar aaya tha. ek masoom si ladki jiski jindgi sadak par gujar rahi thi. Us din bhi roj ki tarah hi main college me padhane ja raha tha aur khus bhi bohot tha. raste me apni motorcycle se jaise hi road cross karne ko hua pata nahi kaha se wo aa kar meri motorcycle se takra gayi. Main to buri tarah se dar gaya kyuki motorcycle tej speed me thi.. wo motorcycle se takra kar sadak par gir gayi jis wajah se sadak par pade pathhar se takara jaane se uske maathe se khoon nikal aaya. Uske maathe se behta hua khoon dekh kar main bohot jyada ghabra gaya aur jaldi se use utha kar paas hi ke ek clinic par le ja kar uske patti bandhwa di.
Jab tak use hosh nahi aaya tab tak main uske saath usi clinic par baitha raha. Ye mere saath pehli baar hua tha ki mere se accident hua ho.. jab use hosh aaya aur maine us se pucha ki kaha rahi ho wo kuch nahi boli aur idhar udhar dekhne ke baad mujhe apni masoom nigaaho se dekhne lagi…
Mujhe college bhi jana tha bachho ko padhane ke liye par usko is tarah is halat me chhod kar bhi nahi ja sakta tha.
“Beta kaha rahte ho aap ? ghar kaha hai aap ka ?” maine ek baar phir se us se pucha
“tadak pal” uska tutlata jawaab sun kar pehle to mujhe samjh me nahi aaya ki usne kya kaha phir laga ki wo keh rahi hai ki sadake ke us paar.
“ab thik to ho aap ? ye lo aap biskut khao” keh kar maine apne haath me lage biskut jo maine cantine se khareed liya tha.
Usne mere haath se bickut ka packet liya aur usi masoomiyat ke saath khane lag gayi. Wo ek biskut khati aur phir chor nigaaho se meri taraf dekhti aur phir wapas biskut khane lag jati.. Na jaane kya kasis thi uski masoomiyat me ki uske saath jara si der me hi apne aap ek rishata sa jud gaya. Use hospital se le kar main wapis usi taraf jaha wo meri motorcycle se takrayi thi chal diya aaj clinic par baithne ke chakkar me mera college miss ho gaya. 19 saal ki age me hi meri nayi nayi college teacher ki job lag gayi thi. Waha par aa kar maine us se pucha ki kaha rahti ho to usne mujhe ishare se usi taraf bane ek jhopde ki taraf ishara kiya. Maine use us jhopde ke paas le gaya aur us waha dekhne laga ki koi ho jise us ladki ki saath layi hui dawai de saku taaki uski chhot jaldi thik ho sake. Thodi hi der me us jhopdi se ek aurat jo kareeb 30-32 saal ke aas-paas ki umar ki hogi dikhayi di.
“kaha mar gayi thi kab se tujhe dekh rahi hu. Saaman kaha hai” wo mere saath me khadi hui ladki ko dekh kar us par baraste hue boli..
“ji iska accident ho gaya tha.. isko chhot aayi hai ye iski dawai hai isko time se khila”…. Meri baat adhuri hi rah gayi tab tak wo beech me hi bol padi..
“wahi mar jati to achha tha.. wapas se is karam jali ka munh to nahi dekhna padta”
Main to uski baat sun kar ek dam hairaan rah gaya. Ye kaisi maa hai jo apni ladki ke marne ki baat kah rahi hai.. ab pata nahi wo uski maa hai bhi ya nahi. Main abhi ye soch hi raha tha ki wo mere paas aayi aur us ladki ko peete hue apne saath le gayi.. wo ladki baar baar jis tarah se ummeed bhari najar se meri taraf palat-palat kar dekh rahi thi. Aur main uski masoom shakal se behte hue aanuo ko dekhne ke siwa kuch na kar saka.
Waha se wapas main apne ghar aa gaya aur apne bache hue kaam karne lag gaya. Din se kab raat ho gayi pata hi nahi chala. Par jaise hi main apne roj ke kaam kaaj se khaali hua meri aankho ke aage usi masoom ka chehra ghoom gaya. Uski masoom nigaahe meri taraf madad ke liye pukarte hue mujhe dikhayi dene lagi.. pata nahi kya kiya hoga us bachhi ke saath us aurat ne. usko dawai bhi di hogi ya nahi. Shakal se hi wo aurat chudail lag rahi thi. Meri aankho ke aage hi us phool jaisi bachhi ko maar rahi thi. Ye sab baate soch kar hi mera man bechain ho utha aur puri raat main chain se so na saka.. mujhe intjaar tha to agli subah ka……
Alarm ki bell jab kaano ke upar bajte hue sunayi di to aankh khuli Raat me sochte sochte kab aankh lag pata hi nahi chala. Main jaldi se naha dho kar taiyaar hua aur apne college me padhane ke liye nikal pada. Aaj ghar se thoda jaldi nikla tha taaki us ladki ko dekh saku. Main jaise hi waha us jhopde ke paas aaya to dekh kar hairaan rah gaya. Wo jara si bachhi apne sir par tasla rakh kar mitti idhar se udhar daal rahi thi wo is halat me jab uske sar par chhot lagi thi aur doctor ne use aaram karne ko kaha tha. aur jhopdi ke bahar hi jameen par baithi wo aurat ek bachhe ko apni chhati se lagye doodh pilate hue sabji kaat rahi thi..
Main fouran apni bike se utra aur us aurat ko daant fatkar lagane laga ki wo us chhoti si bachhi se chotil halat me aisa kaam karwa rahi hai.. iske jawaab me wo ulta mere upar baras padi..
“tum kon..? main chahe us se jo bhi kuch karwau tum hote kon ho ye sab puchne wale.. aaye bade ki us bachhi se kaam kyu karwa rahi ho” usne munh bana kar meri baat ko dohrate hue kaha.
“are kya hua ? kon hai ? kis par garam ho rahi ho ?” bolta hua ek budha sa aadmi andar jhopde se bahar nikla. Usne ek najar us aurat ki taraf aur phir palat kar meri taraf dekhte hue “kya hua sahab kya takleef hai aap ko ?”
“mujhe takleef ye hai ki aap us chotil bachhi se is tarah kaam le rahe hai ye sahi baat nahi hai” maine us aadmi ko samjhate hue kaha.
“kaam na le to kya aarti utare uski ? aur tumhe kya ham chahe kaise bhi rakhe apni ladki ko tum hote kon ho ye sab sawaal puchne wale” us aadmi ne meri taraf buri si shakal banate hue kaha.
Meri aur us aadmi ki aawaj sun kar aas-paas ki jhopdi me rahne wale log bhi bahar nikal aaye. Aur wahi par bheed jama kar hamari aapas me ho rahi behas baaji dekhne lag gaye.
“main jo bhi hu… par tum jo is tarah se is ladki se kaam kara rahe ho ye galat hai gair kanooni hai.. agar maine tumhari report kar di to tum dono ko jail ho jayegi.” Maine gusse me aa kar us aadmi ki taraf dekhte hue kaha. Aur shayad meri police wali baat sun kar wo dono thoda ghabra bhi gaye.
“sahab ham gareeb aadmi isi tarah se apni jindgi jeete hai agar kamayege nahi to khayege piyege kaise ?” is baar us aadmi ne thodi narmi se baat karte hue kaha.
“to kya tum uske liye is chotil bachhi se is tarah ka kaam karwa kar paise kamaoge ?” maine usi gusse bhare andaaj me kaha. “is samay iski umar padhne likhne ki hai ise padhao likhao ye kon sa tareeka hua ki wo chhoti si bachhi chotil hai aur tum us se kaam liye ja rahe ho. dekho tumhare kaam lene ke chakkar me us bechari ke sar se phir se khoon behne lag gaya.” Maine is baar thoda naram hote hue use us ladki ke sar se dobara se behta hua khoon dikha kar kaha.
“kaha se padhaye sahab yaha do waqat ki roti naseeb nahi hoti dhang se padhayi ke liye paise kaha se laayege.?” Us ne phir se naram lahje me meri baat ka jawaab dete hue kaha.
Maine apni jeb se ek kaagaj nikala aur us par apne college ka pata likh kar use diya aur kaha “ thodi der baad is ladki ko le kar yaha is pate par aa jana. Is ladki ki padhayi ki jimmedari meri hai.. aur haan is se koi kaam nahi loge aaj ke baad tum warna tumhe police ke hawale karwa duga.” Bol kar maine us bachhi ki taraf dekha wo meri taraf phir se usi masoomiyat ke saath dekh rahi thi.
Mujhe college bhi jana tha is liye main use apna address de kar waha se college ke liye chal diya. School aa kar main apni class me bachho ko padhane lag gaya. Apna Letcher khatam karke main wapas stuff room me aa kar baitha hi tha ki wo budha aadmi aur wo ladki waha aa gaye. us ladki ko waha college me dekh kar mujhe bohot khusi ho rahi thi.
“sahab aap ne kaha tha isko yaha lane ke liye main le aaya” us aadmi ne meri taraf dekhte hue kaha.
“bohot achha kaam kiya aaj se ye yahi padhegi tum apna naam aur iska naam is form par bharwa do. Ab se ye roz college aaya karegi.” Main usko ek form wahi paas rakhi ek file se nikal kar dete hue kaha aur phir wapas us ladki ki taraf dekh kar us se ladki se pucha “kyu beta padhogi na ?”
Usne meri taraf usi masoomiyat se dekhte hue haan me apna sar hila diya...
School me dhakila ho jaane ke baad main roz use subah samay se college apni bike par hi baitha lata aur wapas aate hue use chhod deta. Wo padhne me kaafi tej thi. Padhai likhayi ke prati uski lagan dekh kar mujhe bohot khusi hoti. School me aajane se ab uska chehra aur bhi jyada khila rahne laga. Par iske ulte uske jhopdi wale ghar par uski souteli maa us par aur bhi jyada julm karne lagi jiske nishan mujhe uske shareer par lage ghaavo ko dekh kar saaf pata chalte the.
Jisko le kar meri kayi baar uski maa se kaha suni bhi hui thi par uski maa ki sehat par jaise koi asar nahi hua. Is liye main use apne ghar le aaya. Wo mere saath mere ghar me aa kar bohot khus ho gayi. Dheere dheere kar ke ye silsila yun hi chalta raha. Mere ghar par aa jane se aas-pados me rahne wale bachho ke saath me khelta koodta dekh uske chehare par aayi hansi ko dekh kar mujhe jo khusi milti thi wo shabdo me bayan nahi ki ja sakti..
Waqt aage badhne ke saath saath umar aur shareer bhi badhne laga gaya. Is umar me sabhi ke jehan me hajaaro sawaal hote hai par unka jawaab pana shayad kisi ke liye bhi aasan nahi hota.
Aaj meri shaadi ki 3rd saalgrih hai aur main kasam khayi thi ki main kabhi bhi usko yaad nahi karuga par uski yaad hai ki dil se jaane ka naam nahi leti. Har waqt har lamha mujhe meri naakami ka ehsaas karwati hai… Kya kami rah gayi thi ? kya nahi kiya tha maine uske liye… phir usne kyu kiya mere saath aisa ? apni chhoti behan apni bachhi ki tarah se pala tha maine use phir kya kami rah gayi.. ? kyu nahi wo mujhe samjh saki ? kyu usne mere baare me aisa socha ?
20 saal ki thi jab main use apne ghar par le kar aaya tha. ek masoom si ladki jiski jindgi sadak par gujar rahi thi. Us din bhi roj ki tarah hi main college me padhane ja raha tha aur khus bhi bohot tha. raste me apni motorcycle se jaise hi road cross karne ko hua pata nahi kaha se wo aa kar meri motorcycle se takra gayi. Main to buri tarah se dar gaya kyuki motorcycle tej speed me thi.. wo motorcycle se takra kar sadak par gir gayi jis wajah se sadak par pade pathhar se takara jaane se uske maathe se khoon nikal aaya. Uske maathe se behta hua khoon dekh kar main bohot jyada ghabra gaya aur jaldi se use utha kar paas hi ke ek clinic par le ja kar uske patti bandhwa di.
Jab tak use hosh nahi aaya tab tak main uske saath usi clinic par baitha raha. Ye mere saath pehli baar hua tha ki mere se accident hua ho.. jab use hosh aaya aur maine us se pucha ki kaha rahi ho wo kuch nahi boli aur idhar udhar dekhne ke baad mujhe apni masoom nigaaho se dekhne lagi…
Mujhe college bhi jana tha bachho ko padhane ke liye par usko is tarah is halat me chhod kar bhi nahi ja sakta tha.
“Beta kaha rahte ho aap ? ghar kaha hai aap ka ?” maine ek baar phir se us se pucha
“tadak pal” uska tutlata jawaab sun kar pehle to mujhe samjh me nahi aaya ki usne kya kaha phir laga ki wo keh rahi hai ki sadake ke us paar.
“ab thik to ho aap ? ye lo aap biskut khao” keh kar maine apne haath me lage biskut jo maine cantine se khareed liya tha.
Usne mere haath se bickut ka packet liya aur usi masoomiyat ke saath khane lag gayi. Wo ek biskut khati aur phir chor nigaaho se meri taraf dekhti aur phir wapas biskut khane lag jati.. Na jaane kya kasis thi uski masoomiyat me ki uske saath jara si der me hi apne aap ek rishata sa jud gaya. Use hospital se le kar main wapis usi taraf jaha wo meri motorcycle se takrayi thi chal diya aaj clinic par baithne ke chakkar me mera college miss ho gaya. 19 saal ki age me hi meri nayi nayi college teacher ki job lag gayi thi. Waha par aa kar maine us se pucha ki kaha rahti ho to usne mujhe ishare se usi taraf bane ek jhopde ki taraf ishara kiya. Maine use us jhopde ke paas le gaya aur us waha dekhne laga ki koi ho jise us ladki ki saath layi hui dawai de saku taaki uski chhot jaldi thik ho sake. Thodi hi der me us jhopdi se ek aurat jo kareeb 30-32 saal ke aas-paas ki umar ki hogi dikhayi di.
“kaha mar gayi thi kab se tujhe dekh rahi hu. Saaman kaha hai” wo mere saath me khadi hui ladki ko dekh kar us par baraste hue boli..
“ji iska accident ho gaya tha.. isko chhot aayi hai ye iski dawai hai isko time se khila”…. Meri baat adhuri hi rah gayi tab tak wo beech me hi bol padi..
“wahi mar jati to achha tha.. wapas se is karam jali ka munh to nahi dekhna padta”
Main to uski baat sun kar ek dam hairaan rah gaya. Ye kaisi maa hai jo apni ladki ke marne ki baat kah rahi hai.. ab pata nahi wo uski maa hai bhi ya nahi. Main abhi ye soch hi raha tha ki wo mere paas aayi aur us ladki ko peete hue apne saath le gayi.. wo ladki baar baar jis tarah se ummeed bhari najar se meri taraf palat-palat kar dekh rahi thi. Aur main uski masoom shakal se behte hue aanuo ko dekhne ke siwa kuch na kar saka.
Waha se wapas main apne ghar aa gaya aur apne bache hue kaam karne lag gaya. Din se kab raat ho gayi pata hi nahi chala. Par jaise hi main apne roj ke kaam kaaj se khaali hua meri aankho ke aage usi masoom ka chehra ghoom gaya. Uski masoom nigaahe meri taraf madad ke liye pukarte hue mujhe dikhayi dene lagi.. pata nahi kya kiya hoga us bachhi ke saath us aurat ne. usko dawai bhi di hogi ya nahi. Shakal se hi wo aurat chudail lag rahi thi. Meri aankho ke aage hi us phool jaisi bachhi ko maar rahi thi. Ye sab baate soch kar hi mera man bechain ho utha aur puri raat main chain se so na saka.. mujhe intjaar tha to agli subah ka……
Alarm ki bell jab kaano ke upar bajte hue sunayi di to aankh khuli Raat me sochte sochte kab aankh lag pata hi nahi chala. Main jaldi se naha dho kar taiyaar hua aur apne college me padhane ke liye nikal pada. Aaj ghar se thoda jaldi nikla tha taaki us ladki ko dekh saku. Main jaise hi waha us jhopde ke paas aaya to dekh kar hairaan rah gaya. Wo jara si bachhi apne sir par tasla rakh kar mitti idhar se udhar daal rahi thi wo is halat me jab uske sar par chhot lagi thi aur doctor ne use aaram karne ko kaha tha. aur jhopdi ke bahar hi jameen par baithi wo aurat ek bachhe ko apni chhati se lagye doodh pilate hue sabji kaat rahi thi..
Main fouran apni bike se utra aur us aurat ko daant fatkar lagane laga ki wo us chhoti si bachhi se chotil halat me aisa kaam karwa rahi hai.. iske jawaab me wo ulta mere upar baras padi..
“tum kon..? main chahe us se jo bhi kuch karwau tum hote kon ho ye sab puchne wale.. aaye bade ki us bachhi se kaam kyu karwa rahi ho” usne munh bana kar meri baat ko dohrate hue kaha.
“are kya hua ? kon hai ? kis par garam ho rahi ho ?” bolta hua ek budha sa aadmi andar jhopde se bahar nikla. Usne ek najar us aurat ki taraf aur phir palat kar meri taraf dekhte hue “kya hua sahab kya takleef hai aap ko ?”
“mujhe takleef ye hai ki aap us chotil bachhi se is tarah kaam le rahe hai ye sahi baat nahi hai” maine us aadmi ko samjhate hue kaha.
“kaam na le to kya aarti utare uski ? aur tumhe kya ham chahe kaise bhi rakhe apni ladki ko tum hote kon ho ye sab sawaal puchne wale” us aadmi ne meri taraf buri si shakal banate hue kaha.
Meri aur us aadmi ki aawaj sun kar aas-paas ki jhopdi me rahne wale log bhi bahar nikal aaye. Aur wahi par bheed jama kar hamari aapas me ho rahi behas baaji dekhne lag gaye.
“main jo bhi hu… par tum jo is tarah se is ladki se kaam kara rahe ho ye galat hai gair kanooni hai.. agar maine tumhari report kar di to tum dono ko jail ho jayegi.” Maine gusse me aa kar us aadmi ki taraf dekhte hue kaha. Aur shayad meri police wali baat sun kar wo dono thoda ghabra bhi gaye.
“sahab ham gareeb aadmi isi tarah se apni jindgi jeete hai agar kamayege nahi to khayege piyege kaise ?” is baar us aadmi ne thodi narmi se baat karte hue kaha.
“to kya tum uske liye is chotil bachhi se is tarah ka kaam karwa kar paise kamaoge ?” maine usi gusse bhare andaaj me kaha. “is samay iski umar padhne likhne ki hai ise padhao likhao ye kon sa tareeka hua ki wo chhoti si bachhi chotil hai aur tum us se kaam liye ja rahe ho. dekho tumhare kaam lene ke chakkar me us bechari ke sar se phir se khoon behne lag gaya.” Maine is baar thoda naram hote hue use us ladki ke sar se dobara se behta hua khoon dikha kar kaha.
“kaha se padhaye sahab yaha do waqat ki roti naseeb nahi hoti dhang se padhayi ke liye paise kaha se laayege.?” Us ne phir se naram lahje me meri baat ka jawaab dete hue kaha.
Maine apni jeb se ek kaagaj nikala aur us par apne college ka pata likh kar use diya aur kaha “ thodi der baad is ladki ko le kar yaha is pate par aa jana. Is ladki ki padhayi ki jimmedari meri hai.. aur haan is se koi kaam nahi loge aaj ke baad tum warna tumhe police ke hawale karwa duga.” Bol kar maine us bachhi ki taraf dekha wo meri taraf phir se usi masoomiyat ke saath dekh rahi thi.
Mujhe college bhi jana tha is liye main use apna address de kar waha se college ke liye chal diya. School aa kar main apni class me bachho ko padhane lag gaya. Apna Letcher khatam karke main wapas stuff room me aa kar baitha hi tha ki wo budha aadmi aur wo ladki waha aa gaye. us ladki ko waha college me dekh kar mujhe bohot khusi ho rahi thi.
“sahab aap ne kaha tha isko yaha lane ke liye main le aaya” us aadmi ne meri taraf dekhte hue kaha.
“bohot achha kaam kiya aaj se ye yahi padhegi tum apna naam aur iska naam is form par bharwa do. Ab se ye roz college aaya karegi.” Main usko ek form wahi paas rakhi ek file se nikal kar dete hue kaha aur phir wapas us ladki ki taraf dekh kar us se ladki se pucha “kyu beta padhogi na ?”
Usne meri taraf usi masoomiyat se dekhte hue haan me apna sar hila diya...
School me dhakila ho jaane ke baad main roz use subah samay se college apni bike par hi baitha lata aur wapas aate hue use chhod deta. Wo padhne me kaafi tej thi. Padhai likhayi ke prati uski lagan dekh kar mujhe bohot khusi hoti. School me aajane se ab uska chehra aur bhi jyada khila rahne laga. Par iske ulte uske jhopdi wale ghar par uski souteli maa us par aur bhi jyada julm karne lagi jiske nishan mujhe uske shareer par lage ghaavo ko dekh kar saaf pata chalte the.
Jisko le kar meri kayi baar uski maa se kaha suni bhi hui thi par uski maa ki sehat par jaise koi asar nahi hua. Is liye main use apne ghar le aaya. Wo mere saath mere ghar me aa kar bohot khus ho gayi. Dheere dheere kar ke ye silsila yun hi chalta raha. Mere ghar par aa jane se aas-pados me rahne wale bachho ke saath me khelta koodta dekh uske chehare par aayi hansi ko dekh kar mujhe jo khusi milti thi wo shabdo me bayan nahi ki ja sakti..
Waqt aage badhne ke saath saath umar aur shareer bhi badhne laga gaya. Is umar me sabhi ke jehan me hajaaro sawaal hote hai par unka jawaab pana shayad kisi ke liye bhi aasan nahi hota.