Waise to aaj ka din baakiyon ke liye kuch khaas nahi thha. lekin usske liye yeh din bahut saari yaadon se juda hua thha. har saal aaj ke din wo apne kamre mein akele jaa kar wo saare khat padta thha. aaj bhi usski dincharya mein wo shaamil thha. office se aa kar ussne apni biwi ko bola ke kuch der usse disturb naa kare aur apne kamre mein jaa kar wo chhota sa baksa khol diya jismein ussne wo saare khat sambhal ke rakhe thhe.
15th September 1996,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
yeh mera tumhein pehla khat hai. pata nahi main tumhein yaad bhi hoon ya nahin. hum 15 din pehle Rakesh ki shaadi mein mile thhe. phone number to tumhaara mujhe mil nahi paya par tumhaara address mil gaya hai ab. jiss din se hum milein, mere khwaabo/khayaalon mein tumne dera basa liya hai. sota hoon to tum dikhti ho, kaam pe jaata hoon to tum dikhti ho, ghar se bahar nikalta hoon to tum dikhti ho, ghar aata hoon to tum dikhti ho. aisa koi samay ya jagah nahi hai jahan mujhe tum nahi dikhti ya main tumhein dekhna nahi chahta. isse mera pagalpan kaho ya meri nadaani, par tum mere liye meri har ek saas jitni important ho gayi ho. maine pichle 2 dinon mein kayi baar tumhein yeh khat likhkar bhejne ki koshish kari par har baar mere haath yeh sochkar ruk gaye ke shayad yeh bhi meri zindagi ka ek phase hai aur shayad yeh chaahat bhi jald hi khatam ho jayegi. yeh bhi socha ke pata nahin tum bhi mere baare mein aisa sochti ho ya nahin. lekin samay ke saath yeh junoon badhta hi jaa raha hai. ab mujhse sach mein raha nahi gaya aur main yeh khat aaj tumhein aakhir likh hi raha hoon.
Yoon to maine kabhi kisi ladki ko aisa khat nahi likha, isliye pata nahi hai ke ismein kya likha jaana chahiye. fir bhi saaf dil se main jo soch raha hoon, wo likh raha hoon. agar tumhein pasand na aaye, to sorry; lekin mere liye yeh likhna bahut hi zaruri thha. pyaar kya hota hai, main nahi jaanta lekin itna zarur jaanta hoon ke jo aag mere andar lagi hai, wo tum hi bujha sakti ho. tumhaari hasi, tumhaara khilkhilaata hua chehra, tumhaare baatein - yeh sab mujhe abhi tak yaad hain. main chahta hoon ke tumhein aur jaanu aur tum bhi mujhe thoda aur jaano. agar tumhein ismein aitraaz nahi hai, to mujhe zarur batana. ab main tumhein aur bore nahi karunga. agar tumhein mujhmein zara bhi dilchaspi hai to iss khat ka jawaab dekar mujhe zarur batana. agar nahi bhi hai, to bhi bata dena. main tumhaare jawaab ka besabri se intezaar karunga.
Vikram
*-*
3 October 1996,
Calcutta
Dear Farzana,
Mere pichle khat ka jawaab dene ke liye bahut bahut dhanyawaad. tum yakeen nahi karogi ke har din jab daakiye ki ghanti bajti thhi to mujhe yeh hi lagta thha ke tumhaara khat aaya hoga. mera dil zor zor se dhadakne lagta ke pata nahin tumne kya likha hoga, par ant mein mayoosi hi haath lagti jab dakiya bina koi khat mere letterbox mein daale chala jaata. kal jab tumhaara khat mujhe mila to meri khushi ka koi thikaana nahi raha. kaafi der main usse bina khole ghoorte raha. shayad andar ek darr sa thha ke pata nahi tumne kya likha hoga. ant mein jab kaanpte haathon se maine wo khat khola aur padha to meri khushi ka thikaana na raha. mujhe lag raha thha ke kahin main khushi se marr hi na jaoon. par mara nahin, yeh ganimat hai.
yeh jaan ke bahut achcha laga ke tum bhi mere baare mein sochti ho. mera jitna nahin sochti to kya hua, sochti to ho. yeh bhi jaan kar achcha laga ke jaldbaazi mein tumne koi kadam na uthaane ka faisla kiya hai aur apna college khatam ho jaane tak shaadi ke baare mein na sochne ka faisla kiya hai. main tumhaari baat se bilkul sehmat hoon. abhi tumhein apni padhai pe hi zor dena chahiye. yehi padhai tumhaari aani waali zindagi ki neenv daalegi. main 2 saal tak rukne ke liye tayaar hoon. Mujhe yakeen hai ke agar tumhaare maa baap zinda hote to wo bhi yehi chahte.
mera kaam achcha chal raha hai. kal tumhaara khat mila aur aaj yeh samachar ke mujhe promotion milne waala hai. iss company mein itni jaldi aaj tak kisi ko bhi promotion nahi mila. shayad maine pichle janam mein kuch achche karam kiye honge jinka phal mujhe kal aur aaj mila hai. ya yeh bhi ho sakta hai ke tum meri zindagi mein bahut saara good luck le kar aayi ho. agle kuch dinon ke liye main videsh ke tour pe jaa raha hoon training ke liye. umeed karta hoon ke jab waapas aaunga to tumhaara khat mera intezaar kar raha hoga. tab tak ke liye alvida
Vikram.
*-*
30 October 1996,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
Kaisi ho?? main yahan bilkul theek hoon aur umeed karta hoon ke tum bhi achchi hi hogi. Kal hi main waapas calcutta pahuncha aur sabse pehle tumhaara khat padha. Jaan ke khushi hui ke tum apni padhai mein poori tarah se doobi ho aur aane wale exams ke liye poori tayyaari kar rahi ho. Apni sehat ka bhi achcha khayal rakhna seekho. Jo tumhaara sar dukhta rehta hai usski wajah tumhaara apni sehat par theek tarah se dhyaan na dena hi hai. Achchi tarah se khana khao aur rest karo. Sab theek ho jayega.
Videsh ka daura achcha gaya. Wahan ki khulli sadke aur saaf vatavaran ko dekh kar sach much aankhein chaundiya gayi. Pata hai wahan par sadkon par thookna ya gand failaana ityaadi ek crime hai aur usspe fine lagta hai. Iss hisaab se dekha jaye to hum hindustani laakhon rupaye ka to sadkon pe aise hi thook dete hain. Fir log kehte hain ke humaara desh gareeb hai. Training par sab meri lagan ko dekh kar bahut khush thhe. Sabne mujhe mere future ke liye bhi shubhkamnayein di. Kuch din wahan bitaye lekin dil mera wahan bahut lag gaya. Wahan se nikalte waqt mann bahut bhaari thha. Agar mauka mila to tumhein bhi wahan zarur le kar jaunga.
Aaj maine apni company mein productivity improve karne ke bahut tareeke sujhaye hain. Dekhte hain ke kitne implement ho paate hain. Jaisa main sochta hoon, agar sabhi kuch waisa chala to wo din door nahi hai jab bharat mein humaari company top pe hogi. Tumhaari bahut yaad aati hai. Ho sake to apni ek tasveer mujhe khat mein bhej dena. Roz usske saath baat karke apna dil behla lunga. Main apni ek tasveer iss khat ke saath bhej raha hoon. Mujhe darr hai ke kahin tum meri shakal bhool na jao aur apne mann mein kisi hero ki tasveer le kar, mere bajaye uss se pyaar na kar baitho. Achchi tarah se padhai karna aur apne results ka zarur batana.
Vikram
*-*
30 November 1996,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
sabse pehle achche result ke liye bahut bahut badhaiyan. Jiss mehnat aur lagan se tum padhai kar rahi thhi, mujhe pata thha ke result to achcha hi aayega. Itna achcha aaya hai, yeh jaan kar bahut khushi hui. Main yahan bilkul theek hoon. Tumhaare liye thoda chintit hoon. Jo tumhaare sar ka dard badhta jaa raha hai, aur usske prati tumhaari laparwahi dekh kar mujhe gussa aa raha hai. Kisi achche doctor ko dikhao. Ek achchi news bhi hai. Main agle hafte Delhi aa raha hoon. Umeed karta hoon ke tum thoda samay nikal kar mujhe milne zarur aaogi. Aaj ka khat main yahin samapt kar raha hoon. Jab tak tum yeh padhogi, main Delhi pahunch chuka hounga. 7 December ko shaam 5 baje qutub minar pe milte hain. Mujhe yakeen hai ke tum zaroor aaogi.
Tumhaara,
Vikram
*-*
28 december 1996,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
main yahan theek thaak pahunch gaya hoon. Jo 7 din maine tumhaare saath bitaye, wo meri zindagi ke sabse haseen pal thhe. Tumhaari tasveer ke saath baat karte karte main bhool hi gaya thha ke jab tumse asal mein baat karunga to kaisa lagega. Yahan pahunchne ke baad mujhe mere jeevan mein ek ajeeb si kami mehsoos hone lagi hai. Jis hasi ko main apne mann me dabaa chuka thha, tumse milne ke baad wo waapas subah – shaam mere saath rehne lagi hai. Tumhaare jism ki khushboo, tumhaare naram hothon ka sparsh main abhi tak nahi bhool paya hoon. Tumhaari har ek baat kisi tape recorder se aati hui mujhe har pal mehsoos hoti hai. Pata nahin main aage ki zindagi kaise bitaunga. Mera tumhaare bina ek pal bhi kaatna mushkil ho raha hai.
Baaki khabron mein, company achchi chal rahi hai. Bahut saare improvements jo maine bataye thhe wo laagu ho gaye hain aur kaam pehle se bahut hi zyaada achcha ho gaya hai. Hum shayad apni company ki branch jald hi delhi mein kholenge. Agar aisa ho saka to main jald hi delhi waali branch mein transfer le lunga. Fir hum dono aapas mein aur mil sakenge aur hopefully aur zyaada kareeb aa sakenge.
Tumne bataya thha ke aaj tumhaari doctor ke saath appointment hai. Zarur likhna ke doctor ne kya kaha. Kaam mein bahut busy hoon isliye zyaada nahi likh sakta. Dher saara pyaar aur naye varsh ki bahut shubkamnayein,
Tumhara,
Vikram
*-*
18 January 2007,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
Tumhaara khat padh kar mujhe yakeen nahi ho raha. Umeed karta hoon ke tumne aur doctors ki salah li hogi. Tumour hona ek bahut badi baat hai. Umeed karta hoon ke doctor se galti hui hogi aur doosre doctors usse sudhaar denge.
Yeh waqt nirash hone ka nahi hai Farzana. Yeh kabhi bhi mat sochna ke tum akeli ho. Tumhaare maa baap nahi hai to kya hua, main to tumhaare saath hoon. Mujhse jitna ho sakega, utni madat tumhaari karunga. Paise ki chinta mat karna. Main apne ghar waalon ya doston se udhaar le kar wo operation zarur karwaunga. Bas tum kabhi himmat mat haarna aur zindagi se nirash mat hona. Zindagi ki har saans upar waala gin ke humein neeche bhejta hai. Mujhe yakeen hai ke tumhaare hisse ki saansein abhi bhi baaki hain. Tumhaare liye main tumour se to kya, upar waale se bhi ladd jaunga. Aise tumhein jaane nahin dunga. Ho saka to apne hisse ki saansein bhi main upar waale se tumhaare naam karwa lunga. Bas tum kabhi apne aap ko akela mat samajhna. Jitni jaldi ho sake, 1-2 aur doctors ko dikhana. Unki rai bhi mujhe jald se jald likh kar bhejna.
Tumhaara,
Vikram
*-*
31 January 2007,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
Reports ke baare mein jaan kar bahut dukh hua. Lekin abhi bhi umeed ki kiran baaki hai. Jaisa ke doctors ne kaha hai, tumor abhi bahut chhota hai aur aaram se nikala jaa sakta hai. Maine tumhaari reports yahan ke bhi doctors ko dikhayi hain aur unka bhi yehi maan-na hai.
15th September 1996,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
yeh mera tumhein pehla khat hai. pata nahi main tumhein yaad bhi hoon ya nahin. hum 15 din pehle Rakesh ki shaadi mein mile thhe. phone number to tumhaara mujhe mil nahi paya par tumhaara address mil gaya hai ab. jiss din se hum milein, mere khwaabo/khayaalon mein tumne dera basa liya hai. sota hoon to tum dikhti ho, kaam pe jaata hoon to tum dikhti ho, ghar se bahar nikalta hoon to tum dikhti ho, ghar aata hoon to tum dikhti ho. aisa koi samay ya jagah nahi hai jahan mujhe tum nahi dikhti ya main tumhein dekhna nahi chahta. isse mera pagalpan kaho ya meri nadaani, par tum mere liye meri har ek saas jitni important ho gayi ho. maine pichle 2 dinon mein kayi baar tumhein yeh khat likhkar bhejne ki koshish kari par har baar mere haath yeh sochkar ruk gaye ke shayad yeh bhi meri zindagi ka ek phase hai aur shayad yeh chaahat bhi jald hi khatam ho jayegi. yeh bhi socha ke pata nahin tum bhi mere baare mein aisa sochti ho ya nahin. lekin samay ke saath yeh junoon badhta hi jaa raha hai. ab mujhse sach mein raha nahi gaya aur main yeh khat aaj tumhein aakhir likh hi raha hoon.
Yoon to maine kabhi kisi ladki ko aisa khat nahi likha, isliye pata nahi hai ke ismein kya likha jaana chahiye. fir bhi saaf dil se main jo soch raha hoon, wo likh raha hoon. agar tumhein pasand na aaye, to sorry; lekin mere liye yeh likhna bahut hi zaruri thha. pyaar kya hota hai, main nahi jaanta lekin itna zarur jaanta hoon ke jo aag mere andar lagi hai, wo tum hi bujha sakti ho. tumhaari hasi, tumhaara khilkhilaata hua chehra, tumhaare baatein - yeh sab mujhe abhi tak yaad hain. main chahta hoon ke tumhein aur jaanu aur tum bhi mujhe thoda aur jaano. agar tumhein ismein aitraaz nahi hai, to mujhe zarur batana. ab main tumhein aur bore nahi karunga. agar tumhein mujhmein zara bhi dilchaspi hai to iss khat ka jawaab dekar mujhe zarur batana. agar nahi bhi hai, to bhi bata dena. main tumhaare jawaab ka besabri se intezaar karunga.
Vikram
*-*
3 October 1996,
Calcutta
Dear Farzana,
Mere pichle khat ka jawaab dene ke liye bahut bahut dhanyawaad. tum yakeen nahi karogi ke har din jab daakiye ki ghanti bajti thhi to mujhe yeh hi lagta thha ke tumhaara khat aaya hoga. mera dil zor zor se dhadakne lagta ke pata nahin tumne kya likha hoga, par ant mein mayoosi hi haath lagti jab dakiya bina koi khat mere letterbox mein daale chala jaata. kal jab tumhaara khat mujhe mila to meri khushi ka koi thikaana nahi raha. kaafi der main usse bina khole ghoorte raha. shayad andar ek darr sa thha ke pata nahi tumne kya likha hoga. ant mein jab kaanpte haathon se maine wo khat khola aur padha to meri khushi ka thikaana na raha. mujhe lag raha thha ke kahin main khushi se marr hi na jaoon. par mara nahin, yeh ganimat hai.
yeh jaan ke bahut achcha laga ke tum bhi mere baare mein sochti ho. mera jitna nahin sochti to kya hua, sochti to ho. yeh bhi jaan kar achcha laga ke jaldbaazi mein tumne koi kadam na uthaane ka faisla kiya hai aur apna college khatam ho jaane tak shaadi ke baare mein na sochne ka faisla kiya hai. main tumhaari baat se bilkul sehmat hoon. abhi tumhein apni padhai pe hi zor dena chahiye. yehi padhai tumhaari aani waali zindagi ki neenv daalegi. main 2 saal tak rukne ke liye tayaar hoon. Mujhe yakeen hai ke agar tumhaare maa baap zinda hote to wo bhi yehi chahte.
mera kaam achcha chal raha hai. kal tumhaara khat mila aur aaj yeh samachar ke mujhe promotion milne waala hai. iss company mein itni jaldi aaj tak kisi ko bhi promotion nahi mila. shayad maine pichle janam mein kuch achche karam kiye honge jinka phal mujhe kal aur aaj mila hai. ya yeh bhi ho sakta hai ke tum meri zindagi mein bahut saara good luck le kar aayi ho. agle kuch dinon ke liye main videsh ke tour pe jaa raha hoon training ke liye. umeed karta hoon ke jab waapas aaunga to tumhaara khat mera intezaar kar raha hoga. tab tak ke liye alvida
Vikram.
*-*
30 October 1996,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
Kaisi ho?? main yahan bilkul theek hoon aur umeed karta hoon ke tum bhi achchi hi hogi. Kal hi main waapas calcutta pahuncha aur sabse pehle tumhaara khat padha. Jaan ke khushi hui ke tum apni padhai mein poori tarah se doobi ho aur aane wale exams ke liye poori tayyaari kar rahi ho. Apni sehat ka bhi achcha khayal rakhna seekho. Jo tumhaara sar dukhta rehta hai usski wajah tumhaara apni sehat par theek tarah se dhyaan na dena hi hai. Achchi tarah se khana khao aur rest karo. Sab theek ho jayega.
Videsh ka daura achcha gaya. Wahan ki khulli sadke aur saaf vatavaran ko dekh kar sach much aankhein chaundiya gayi. Pata hai wahan par sadkon par thookna ya gand failaana ityaadi ek crime hai aur usspe fine lagta hai. Iss hisaab se dekha jaye to hum hindustani laakhon rupaye ka to sadkon pe aise hi thook dete hain. Fir log kehte hain ke humaara desh gareeb hai. Training par sab meri lagan ko dekh kar bahut khush thhe. Sabne mujhe mere future ke liye bhi shubhkamnayein di. Kuch din wahan bitaye lekin dil mera wahan bahut lag gaya. Wahan se nikalte waqt mann bahut bhaari thha. Agar mauka mila to tumhein bhi wahan zarur le kar jaunga.
Aaj maine apni company mein productivity improve karne ke bahut tareeke sujhaye hain. Dekhte hain ke kitne implement ho paate hain. Jaisa main sochta hoon, agar sabhi kuch waisa chala to wo din door nahi hai jab bharat mein humaari company top pe hogi. Tumhaari bahut yaad aati hai. Ho sake to apni ek tasveer mujhe khat mein bhej dena. Roz usske saath baat karke apna dil behla lunga. Main apni ek tasveer iss khat ke saath bhej raha hoon. Mujhe darr hai ke kahin tum meri shakal bhool na jao aur apne mann mein kisi hero ki tasveer le kar, mere bajaye uss se pyaar na kar baitho. Achchi tarah se padhai karna aur apne results ka zarur batana.
Vikram
*-*
30 November 1996,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
sabse pehle achche result ke liye bahut bahut badhaiyan. Jiss mehnat aur lagan se tum padhai kar rahi thhi, mujhe pata thha ke result to achcha hi aayega. Itna achcha aaya hai, yeh jaan kar bahut khushi hui. Main yahan bilkul theek hoon. Tumhaare liye thoda chintit hoon. Jo tumhaare sar ka dard badhta jaa raha hai, aur usske prati tumhaari laparwahi dekh kar mujhe gussa aa raha hai. Kisi achche doctor ko dikhao. Ek achchi news bhi hai. Main agle hafte Delhi aa raha hoon. Umeed karta hoon ke tum thoda samay nikal kar mujhe milne zarur aaogi. Aaj ka khat main yahin samapt kar raha hoon. Jab tak tum yeh padhogi, main Delhi pahunch chuka hounga. 7 December ko shaam 5 baje qutub minar pe milte hain. Mujhe yakeen hai ke tum zaroor aaogi.
Tumhaara,
Vikram
*-*
28 december 1996,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
main yahan theek thaak pahunch gaya hoon. Jo 7 din maine tumhaare saath bitaye, wo meri zindagi ke sabse haseen pal thhe. Tumhaari tasveer ke saath baat karte karte main bhool hi gaya thha ke jab tumse asal mein baat karunga to kaisa lagega. Yahan pahunchne ke baad mujhe mere jeevan mein ek ajeeb si kami mehsoos hone lagi hai. Jis hasi ko main apne mann me dabaa chuka thha, tumse milne ke baad wo waapas subah – shaam mere saath rehne lagi hai. Tumhaare jism ki khushboo, tumhaare naram hothon ka sparsh main abhi tak nahi bhool paya hoon. Tumhaari har ek baat kisi tape recorder se aati hui mujhe har pal mehsoos hoti hai. Pata nahin main aage ki zindagi kaise bitaunga. Mera tumhaare bina ek pal bhi kaatna mushkil ho raha hai.
Baaki khabron mein, company achchi chal rahi hai. Bahut saare improvements jo maine bataye thhe wo laagu ho gaye hain aur kaam pehle se bahut hi zyaada achcha ho gaya hai. Hum shayad apni company ki branch jald hi delhi mein kholenge. Agar aisa ho saka to main jald hi delhi waali branch mein transfer le lunga. Fir hum dono aapas mein aur mil sakenge aur hopefully aur zyaada kareeb aa sakenge.
Tumne bataya thha ke aaj tumhaari doctor ke saath appointment hai. Zarur likhna ke doctor ne kya kaha. Kaam mein bahut busy hoon isliye zyaada nahi likh sakta. Dher saara pyaar aur naye varsh ki bahut shubkamnayein,
Tumhara,
Vikram
*-*
18 January 2007,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
Tumhaara khat padh kar mujhe yakeen nahi ho raha. Umeed karta hoon ke tumne aur doctors ki salah li hogi. Tumour hona ek bahut badi baat hai. Umeed karta hoon ke doctor se galti hui hogi aur doosre doctors usse sudhaar denge.
Yeh waqt nirash hone ka nahi hai Farzana. Yeh kabhi bhi mat sochna ke tum akeli ho. Tumhaare maa baap nahi hai to kya hua, main to tumhaare saath hoon. Mujhse jitna ho sakega, utni madat tumhaari karunga. Paise ki chinta mat karna. Main apne ghar waalon ya doston se udhaar le kar wo operation zarur karwaunga. Bas tum kabhi himmat mat haarna aur zindagi se nirash mat hona. Zindagi ki har saans upar waala gin ke humein neeche bhejta hai. Mujhe yakeen hai ke tumhaare hisse ki saansein abhi bhi baaki hain. Tumhaare liye main tumour se to kya, upar waale se bhi ladd jaunga. Aise tumhein jaane nahin dunga. Ho saka to apne hisse ki saansein bhi main upar waale se tumhaare naam karwa lunga. Bas tum kabhi apne aap ko akela mat samajhna. Jitni jaldi ho sake, 1-2 aur doctors ko dikhana. Unki rai bhi mujhe jald se jald likh kar bhejna.
Tumhaara,
Vikram
*-*
31 January 2007,
Calcutta.
Dear Farzana,
Reports ke baare mein jaan kar bahut dukh hua. Lekin abhi bhi umeed ki kiran baaki hai. Jaisa ke doctors ne kaha hai, tumor abhi bahut chhota hai aur aaram se nikala jaa sakta hai. Maine tumhaari reports yahan ke bhi doctors ko dikhayi hain aur unka bhi yehi maan-na hai.