Chapter 13: Courage flounder.



It was raining since last few days. Titli was feeling feverish so she was not attending the college. We were in touch on phone. There was strict instruction from her side not to call her.

That night she called after dinner. It was earlier than usual. “Hello what are you doing? Missing me?”

I mocked her, “No madam, I am not missing you. I have a girlfriend and I am happy with her.”

She teased me, “Ok, good. At last, I am relieved from the clutch of a mad person. Now I can have an intelligent and loving boyfriend.”

I teased her, “Good then. Why don’t you then goto sleep dreaming of your boyfriend?”

She joked at me, “Surely I will dream of my boyfriend. What will you do?”

I laughed at her, “What can one do in this rainy night?”

Her voice was very vibrant, “Ummm... I will go out and dance in this drizzle.”
I was angry as she did not recovered fully “What? Are you mad? You have not recovered fully.”

“Ummm..... Yes, dear. Why should I obey you? You are none to me. I am now wearing my boyfriend’s shirt. After everyone goes to bed, I will go out to the roof and dance in the rain.” She sounded very excited.

I exclaimed, “NO. Have you gone mad? When did you steal my shirt?”

She giggled, “Your blue striped shirt. I love that when you wear that.”

I heard someone calling her name. Her voice panicked, “My god, Dad has come. Bye.” and snapped the phone.

My heartbeat paced up. She would be in danger. She has been caught and there would be a commotion in her house. I sat helpless, hitting the table with my fist. One wrong step made everything go haywire. Usually she calls at dead night. I could not find the reason why she called just after dinner that night.

I kept on pacing up and down in my room smoking cigarettes one after another. I kept on thinking as what was going on there at her house. I could not imagine of anything. It might happen that her father hits her and she might take any wrong step. She was very emotional person. She easily gets upset if the person she loves hurts her. I was cursing myself along with that, that I should not have picked the phone.

The phone rang at midnight. She cried on the phone, “Adi please help.” That single sentence hurled me into a tempest of wrong thoughts. She cried on the phone, “Adi dad is not responding. Please help.”

I sank on hearing that. However, I had to be strong so I kept calm, “Don’t worry, I am on my way.”

I called an ambulance and raced to her home. Aurnavo and Aunt were surprised to see me there. I found her dad was lying unconscious. Aunt was crying and by taking his head on her lap. I checked that his pulse was running faint. I tried to wake him up by sprinkling water on his face. I asked how did that happened. Aurnavo answered that his dad had pain on his chest. He fell on the ground and fainted. I pacified them that he would be all right. I myself was not sure as what was the nature of the attack.

He was immediately rushed to hospital. Auntie was very much perturbed as well as Titli. I asked Arunavo to accompany with aunt in the ambulance. I took Titli on my bike to the hospital. Although I tried to persuade her but she kept on sobbing all the way. I had no time to ask the reason of his heart attack then.

Titli’s father was taken to the emergency. We waited anxiously outside. Aunt and Titli sat clutching their hand, anxiously waiting for some the news. I was pacing up and down looking for some answers from the doctors. After few anxious hours, doctors declared that he was out of danger since the attack was a mild one. There was not much damage to the head either. He could return in a day or two.

Aunt was relieved to know that uncle was out of danger. She looked at Titli and shook her head angrily. She gave her a pleading look with tearful eyes.
I kneeled in front of aunt, took her hands in mine and said, “See, I told you, everything will be alright. Now tell me how did this happen?”

She was fuming. She slapped me hard, “You scoundrel, everything happened due to you two.”

I was perplexed, “What I did?”

She chewed her words, “What you did? I did not know that my daughter is insane like this. She was caught in one of your shirt and what else could happen.” I looked at Titli and shook my head in dismay. Aunt continued, “Her father got furious on seeing her like that. He asked her as what all was happening. She tried to hide at first, but her father asked about you as who you are, what do you do and everything. She divulged everything about you and they had an intense argument. I tried to intervene and pacify both of them. Titli’s father warned her that he would send her to Delhi to her Aunt’s home if she contacts you. My insane daughter, instead of being remorseful, walked out on her dad. He lost control on his anger and slapped her.”

I shook my head in disappointment at Titli. She gave me an apologetic smile with tears in her eyes. Aunt then patted her on her cheek and said to me, “Do you know what this girl did? She walked to the balcony and said that she would jump if she were not allowed to meet you. And that was the cause of his attack.”

I was annoyed on her crazy actions. I asked aunt, “So what now?”

She gave me a pleading look, “I don’t know Budhaditya. I know that you love my daughter. I know that from the day you stepped in my house.” She looked at Titli and said to her, “I know what changed you so much. You know your father’s nature as what he told you.”

Titli was quiet all along our conversation. She said to aunt after a long time, “Mom please stop now. Do not speak a word more. I know what he is, I know how he is.”

I asked her, “Tell me I want to hear everything.”

She gave me a painful look, “I don’t know what to say to you. My husband is against this relationship due to several reasons. He is against inter-caste marriage. He knows that you do not have a proper family. He knows about your dad. That was the main reason he don’t want his daughter to get married to you.”

I cursed my fate and my father for one more time to ruin my happiness. With clenched jaws and hazy vision, I looked at them, “So you want me to go away?”

On hearing that Titli screamed, “Nooo...”

Aunt pleaded with folded hands, “I don’t want to lose my husband as this is his second attack. Budhaditya, you are mature and wise enough to decide as what to do.”

The doctor came to us and said that we can meet with Titli’s father. Aunt gave me a pleading look and requested, “Please don’t come inside. I know what you have done. However in this condition I don’t want you in front of him.”

I stood outside waiting for them to return. All those moments I was cursing my ill fate. I was cursing my father for being so indifferent towards me. I cursed Titli for divulging everything in a single shot. I felt that the ray of hope was sinking.

Silently I walked outside, in the rain. Thunders were blazing in the sky. Thunders were blazing in my soul. I walked out in the rain to hide my tears. I forgot the count of time I stood there. My thoughts were all blank as I was unable to think of anything.

I felt Titli’s arms around me from behind. I turned towards her and took her face between my palms. She sobbed out, “I will not live without you, Adi.”

We stood in that dark night in the torrential rain hugging each other. I pressed my lips on her head and comforted her, “Have faith in me?”

She was inconsolable. She nodded her head, “Yes, but how Adi, how? I have faith in you but please don’t mess up. I am very much afraid as what is going to happen next.”

I held her tightly in my arms and pressed my lips on her head, “Keep the faith in me, Dear. I will make everything all right.”

After sometime Aurnavo came to us and told that, her mother was calling her.
I gently patted on her cheek and pacified her, “Don’t you do anything foolish. Please keep cool. I will come for you whatever happens.”

She looked at me with snivelled eyes and sobbed out, “Adi, I will call you.” She walked away with her brother. I could fathom that she was bearing a huge pain in her soul. Her dad was in hospital and her love under the dark clouds. She was in dilemma as what she would do.

I looked up the sky, the morning was approaching but the eastern sky was cloudy. There was no sight of sunrays. There was no sign of respite. I clenched my fist and boxed in the air in disgust as why in my life everything is taken away? The heavens did not answer instead thunders cracked through those dark clouds.

Few anxious days passed; there was no contact from Titli. Every night I waited for her call, but the phone was silent as a dead log. I was unable to contain my fear and anxiety. I pulled up every bit of courage in myself and called her home.

It was her mother on the other side, “What do you want Budhaditya?”

It was not wise to ask for Titli. I took a deep breath and, “How is uncle?”

She answered in a stone cold voice, “He is doing fine.” Her voice trembled then, “Budhaditya, I asked you to take a wise decision.”

I answered her, “Let me speak to uncle, for once, please.”

She sounded stern, “NO Budhaditya. That is of no use now. My daughter is immature. Her childish nature has put her future is jeopardy. She promised her father that she will not contact you.”

I asked her, “WHAT? Where is she?”

She answered me, “She is not here Budhaditya. For the first time in my life, I have to part with my daughter. I had to keep her away. I beg you to stay away from Titli. Please stay away from our life. Her father won’t survive another attack. I am helpless Budhaditya. I beg you to stay away, please.” I heard her crying on the phone.

I closed my eyes. Her last words were echoing in the cavern of my ears.