I Miss Her Love I am Dilip and this is my true feelings ,, I was a complete nerd few years back ,i was so shy around girls ,I barely made eye contacts whatsoever I never had to because my life was preoccupied , I was intended to study hard and earn money that’s how my parents wants me. But I was always curious about women, marriage and love . Love was confusing initially I thought it was bad but some claim that theirs love is true ,eternal ,beyond everything and would do anything for them until death. SCENE 1 (work) One day I was at work , a girl came nearby my desk and said “hello, myself manasa “ first time I was about to shake a girls hand I was so nervous and scared.
I shook her hand and said ”hi I am Dilip” she is smiling and said “I too work here ,in the normal shift” I didn’t know what to say I just smiled and shook my head with fear in my eyes. Soon she said “I have to go ,lets talk during lunch” I said ok and she left. I was so disturbed and many thoughts ran in my mind, she was beautiful ,beautiful such that normal people would agree that she is beautiful. she was smiling all through but I was feeling discomfort I was so worried if any of my colleague were noticing me. I was sitting there just thinking , she is beautiful. why did she come to me? is she thinking of marrying me ? why me there are many handsome colleague , I am black. does she want me to be her lover ? should I marry her ? what does she like? how shall I impress her? What should I buy her? Buy lunch I was totally confused and almost exhausted.
Just before going to lunch I went to refresh myself . I did not take food to the lunch room I thought I would look disgusting but today I think why was it disgusting. SCENE 2 (Lunch) She was already in lunch room as I went inside she noticed me and smiled at me I too smiled at her. As I moved near her she moved and made place for me to sit ,ok I had to sit there .she asked “where is your food” I replied “ I didn’t bring” she asked “why ,is there any routine you follow?” I said ”no I forgot” she smiled at me .after knowing about where we live and how we travel to work place ,with my mobile in my hand I asked “ whats your phone no. ?” she smiled and gave me her mobile no. Later I asked when to call her, if there is any timings, she said I am free to call any time that only she uses the phone. Later that day we just smiled at each other while leaving.
SCENE 3 (Home) At home, I am very happy and cannot stop smiling .i was wondering how she came quickly in to my life. normally guys do lot of work to impress a girl and its not that easy to have a situation with a girl like I had that day. I said to myself “I Am Lucky”. SCENE 4 (Life) Several times I have imagined future life with her. I thought either one of is going to propose and fall in love and have a marriage. I imagined how life would be after marriage like having baby ,playing with them ,life with society and everything else . Almost two years later we have become close friends ,she used to call me and speak around half an hour to one hour and most of the day we used to message until midnight ,we often visit mall and also movies, on several incidents she used to ask me “ will you marry me?” I knew it was for fun and I used to reply “no ,I wont marry you .why would someone marry you” never in any situation I took it seriously, the situation was so funny. sometime she texts me to tune into a particular radio station so that both of would here the same song. With so many things happening in my life there was never a sign of love on me from her.
I was waiting that she would make the first move. But no we are the same from the past two years but I had reached a state of mind that I never want to miss her in my life but how is this possible if we are never going to express love and marry . So I paid less attention towards her sometimes I used to hurt her emotionally. But she was same as friendly towards me. I then thought of seeing other girls .this time within few weeks I had a friend who is a girl but now manasa started paying less attention to me. Soon I left the other girl and my only girl friend is manasa. she is still not friendly towards me. few months later on Sunday I called her asked her to come over to a nearby place so that I would introduce my girlfriend(there was no girlfriend I just wanted to meet manasa it was almost two months we went out) she said “ no, I cannot come I am busy “ I asked “really you wouldn’t come for me,” she replied “please understand I cant” I said “last time YES or NO” she said “NO” then I replied” You Know Something I am Using You Just for TIME PASS I really don’t like you” And then I put down the phone. I did not feel bad about my verbal behaviour .
I thought it was the right thing to do. The next morning neither of us made an eye contact .days went by we never spoke to each other. Three months later I never saw her for two days then I learned that she has reassigned . SCENE 5 (Today) Two years later ,Today I am sitting in the same cabinet and often thinking about her. I have no friend neither boy or girl who is my best friend forever all I see is few colleague who just say hi and bye. What have I done? Now I realize we were already in love we loved each other there was no first move ,I never had a friend who loved me like that ,she would be only girl in my life where I cannot substitute. I realize that Loving someone doesn’t mean that I should marry her. loving someone mean I should expect only Love from her . I Love her so much today that I always want her to be around , if I see her today I will plead her to be like we were before, I would go to any extent to be her friend.
But unfortunately today I have no trace of her I cannot even find her over the internet. i just want her back I just want her love back. The truth is IT Was MY Mistake .she was a gift in my life. What I experienced with her was true love. Its not easy for me to accept any one in my life after she left me .I am so depressed that I can only fake smile and I cant remember how to laugh because there is no instance to laugh . I really don’t know if I may experience this kind of relationship before I die but I am still waiting for something which will make me happy which may never exist. This is how exactly my feelings are today just because of her love.
I shook her hand and said ”hi I am Dilip” she is smiling and said “I too work here ,in the normal shift” I didn’t know what to say I just smiled and shook my head with fear in my eyes. Soon she said “I have to go ,lets talk during lunch” I said ok and she left. I was so disturbed and many thoughts ran in my mind, she was beautiful ,beautiful such that normal people would agree that she is beautiful. she was smiling all through but I was feeling discomfort I was so worried if any of my colleague were noticing me. I was sitting there just thinking , she is beautiful. why did she come to me? is she thinking of marrying me ? why me there are many handsome colleague , I am black. does she want me to be her lover ? should I marry her ? what does she like? how shall I impress her? What should I buy her? Buy lunch I was totally confused and almost exhausted.
Just before going to lunch I went to refresh myself . I did not take food to the lunch room I thought I would look disgusting but today I think why was it disgusting. SCENE 2 (Lunch) She was already in lunch room as I went inside she noticed me and smiled at me I too smiled at her. As I moved near her she moved and made place for me to sit ,ok I had to sit there .she asked “where is your food” I replied “ I didn’t bring” she asked “why ,is there any routine you follow?” I said ”no I forgot” she smiled at me .after knowing about where we live and how we travel to work place ,with my mobile in my hand I asked “ whats your phone no. ?” she smiled and gave me her mobile no. Later I asked when to call her, if there is any timings, she said I am free to call any time that only she uses the phone. Later that day we just smiled at each other while leaving.
SCENE 3 (Home) At home, I am very happy and cannot stop smiling .i was wondering how she came quickly in to my life. normally guys do lot of work to impress a girl and its not that easy to have a situation with a girl like I had that day. I said to myself “I Am Lucky”. SCENE 4 (Life) Several times I have imagined future life with her. I thought either one of is going to propose and fall in love and have a marriage. I imagined how life would be after marriage like having baby ,playing with them ,life with society and everything else . Almost two years later we have become close friends ,she used to call me and speak around half an hour to one hour and most of the day we used to message until midnight ,we often visit mall and also movies, on several incidents she used to ask me “ will you marry me?” I knew it was for fun and I used to reply “no ,I wont marry you .why would someone marry you” never in any situation I took it seriously, the situation was so funny. sometime she texts me to tune into a particular radio station so that both of would here the same song. With so many things happening in my life there was never a sign of love on me from her.
I was waiting that she would make the first move. But no we are the same from the past two years but I had reached a state of mind that I never want to miss her in my life but how is this possible if we are never going to express love and marry . So I paid less attention towards her sometimes I used to hurt her emotionally. But she was same as friendly towards me. I then thought of seeing other girls .this time within few weeks I had a friend who is a girl but now manasa started paying less attention to me. Soon I left the other girl and my only girl friend is manasa. she is still not friendly towards me. few months later on Sunday I called her asked her to come over to a nearby place so that I would introduce my girlfriend(there was no girlfriend I just wanted to meet manasa it was almost two months we went out) she said “ no, I cannot come I am busy “ I asked “really you wouldn’t come for me,” she replied “please understand I cant” I said “last time YES or NO” she said “NO” then I replied” You Know Something I am Using You Just for TIME PASS I really don’t like you” And then I put down the phone. I did not feel bad about my verbal behaviour .
I thought it was the right thing to do. The next morning neither of us made an eye contact .days went by we never spoke to each other. Three months later I never saw her for two days then I learned that she has reassigned . SCENE 5 (Today) Two years later ,Today I am sitting in the same cabinet and often thinking about her. I have no friend neither boy or girl who is my best friend forever all I see is few colleague who just say hi and bye. What have I done? Now I realize we were already in love we loved each other there was no first move ,I never had a friend who loved me like that ,she would be only girl in my life where I cannot substitute. I realize that Loving someone doesn’t mean that I should marry her. loving someone mean I should expect only Love from her . I Love her so much today that I always want her to be around , if I see her today I will plead her to be like we were before, I would go to any extent to be her friend.
But unfortunately today I have no trace of her I cannot even find her over the internet. i just want her back I just want her love back. The truth is IT Was MY Mistake .she was a gift in my life. What I experienced with her was true love. Its not easy for me to accept any one in my life after she left me .I am so depressed that I can only fake smile and I cant remember how to laugh because there is no instance to laugh . I really don’t know if I may experience this kind of relationship before I die but I am still waiting for something which will make me happy which may never exist. This is how exactly my feelings are today just because of her love.