Teenon dost car mein rawana huwe wahan se. Abhay kuch nahin bol raha tha, ghusse mein drive kar raha tha, jab woh ghussa karta tha to ekdum khamosh rehta tha aur usska jabre ka muscle hillta huwa dikhaayi deta tha….. Iqbaal aur Vinay apas mein baat kar rahe the ke to kia ab ussko peeteingue kia? donon ne kaha ke maamla bigar jaega aur police case bhi ho sakta hai phir court ka maamla huwa to Savitri budnaam hogi. Unn donon ko sunne ke baad driving karte waqt Abhay ne poocha “Saale ka naam kia hai?” “Rakesh” Vinay ne reply kiya….. To Abhay bola, “Tum log fikar mat karo kuch nahin hoga na police case na court, bus tum donon dekho main abhi kia karta hoon…”
Kuch door tak drive karne ke baad woh ek jagah par car ko park kiya aur donon ko apne saath chalne ko kaha. Wahan bahot dense traffic thi, bahot sare log the aur hulchul si machi thi uss jagah par aur jeise sanss lena mushkil tha wahan bahot bhir bhar the…… Ek patli gali se hokar Iqbal aur Vinay Abhay ke piche piche dawd rahe the kyun ke Abhay ziada hi tez raftaar se chal raha tha seena taane….. Ek jagah par ruke jahan gali ke donon taraf dukaan the aur kuch sabzi bechne wale bhi the raaste ke kone mein the…. kuch aguey chal kar Abhay ek dukaan mein daakhil huwa piche mudhkar apne donon sathiyon ka andar ane ka ishara karte huwe. Ek badbhu si arahi thi andar daakhil hote hi aur teenon ne apne naak par apne apne rumaal lagaaye aur andar ghussne ke baad unko pata chala ke woh ek kasaayi (butcher) ka shop tha. Ek meat shop tha. Counter ke piche ek lamba sa aadmi jisska seena bahot chawda tha aur bade bade haath the usske aur hey bade bade muscles….. lamba daarhi bhi tha kuch safed kuch kale aur usske sar par ek pagri baandha huwa tha…uss waqt woh ek badi si chaakku se murgi ka gosht kaat raha tha…… aur Abhay ne uss se kaha, “Asalaam alaikum Saleem bhai”
Saleem bhai sar uthakar Abhay ko dekhtey huwe khushi se muskurakar kaha, “Arey Abhay beta tu yahan keise? Kahan rehta hai nazar hi nahin ata, kitne dinon ke baad mile ho yaar aa mere gale lagja” Usski awaaz buland thi aur bhaadi bhi… ek monster ke jeise dikhta tha woh Saleem bhai….. Iqbaal aur Vinay ek dusre ko dekhte rahe aur phuss phus apas mein kuch keh rahe the. Udhar Abhay ne Saleem bhai ko ek taraf bulaya baat karne ke liye to Saleem bhai ne awaaz di, “Aare o Parwez! Dukaan sambhaalna main zara Abhay se kuch baat kar raha hoon”
Jab Abhay ne saari baat samjha diya Saleem bhai ko to ussko bhi ghussa aya aur khade hokar poocha, “Main apne kuch aadmiyon ko saath lekar awun?” To Abhay ne kaha, “Nahin Saleem bhai aap akele kaafi ho, dekho ussko maarna nahin bus darana aur dhamkana hai ke woh shaadi ke liye raazi ho jaye, han ekaat thapad laga sakte ho aap balke main ek do ghunssa zaroor marunga ussko, magar aap apne hathyaar se leys hokar jana taake woh sach mein darr hi jaye…” Saleem bai ghar ke andar gaya jo dukaan ke piche tha aur ek lamba sa samourai lekar baahar nikle… uss hathyaar ko dekhte hi rawndde khade ho jate hein, aur jiss mazbuti se Saleem bhai ne apne haath mein ussko pakra tha, eisa lagta tha jeise war filmon ke villain kissi ka khoon karne ke liye nikal raha ho….. Iqbal aur Vinay ke bolti bandh hogaye the woh donon kabhi Abhay ko to kabhi Saleem bhai ko dekh rahe the…. Iqbaal ne dhire se Vinay ko kaha, “Yeh aadmi to bahot danger lagta hai re, Yeh Abhay issko keise jaanta hai? Yeh kia cheeez hai yeh Saleem bhai?” Vinay Iqbaal ko sirf “ssshhhh” kehta hai.
Saleem bhai Abhay ke saath chalne ko tayyaar tha. Aur ussne apne kadak awaaz mein phir phukaar kar kaha, “Ari oh Sakina! Parvez se kehde ke main baahar jaa raha hoon dukaan ko adhe ghante ke baad bandh karle!” Andar se ek khubsurat patli si awaaz sunaayi di “Thik hai abba jaan kehdungi” Uss awaaz ke maalkin ko dekhne ke liye Iqbaal apne peyr ke toes par khade hokar ghar ke andar dekhne ki koshish kar raha tha, itne mein Saleem bhai unn logon ke traf mudhta hai saath chalne ko aur jhat se Iqbal ek taraf dekhne lagta hai aur Vinay ussko dhakka dekar dhire se kehta hai, “marna hai kia tujhko, kia dekh raha hai andar, tere gale ko kaat kar meat shop mein rakhdega bechne ko!” Aur Vinay dhire se hanss pada aur Iqbal apne hanssi ko sambhaalte huwe rumaal mein muhn chupa raha tha…. Saleem bhai 55 saal ke the magar bahot mazboot aur taaqatwar the aur zaalim dikhte the, koyi bhi ussko dekh kar darr jate the. Ussne Abhay se poocha, “Kaun hai Vinay in mein?” To isharey se Abhay Vinay ko batata hai aur Saleem bhai Vinay se poochta hai, “Usske ghar mein aur kitne mard hein?” Vinay jawaab deta hai, “Usska baap aur ek chota ** saal ka bhai hein” Phir Saleem bhai ne poocha, “Aur usske pados mein koyi mard relative vaghaira hai? Main iss liye pooch raha hoon ke agar lafda huwa aur ussne kissi ko bulaya to main apne aadmiyon ko saath lekar apne car mein tum logon ke piche ata hoon” Tab Vinay ne kaha, “Nahin hai usske ghar se door tak koyi ghar hi nahin hai” Saleem bhai tab bola, “To phir thik hai, chalo bacho uss haraam ke pilley ko main dekhta hoon ke keise shaadi nahin karega, kaatke darya mein baha dunga kutte ko!” Iqbal aur Vinay niche zameen par dekhte chupke chupke hanss rahe the aur jab Abhay ne unn donon ko weise hanste huwe dekha to woh bhi chup kar hanssne laga car ke taraf chalte huwe…..
Sab car mein baithe, Saleem chacha aapne lambe samourai ke saath aguey wala seat par baitha aur Iqbal aur Vinay pichey baithe. Gadi start huwi aur 30 kilometeres ka safar karna tha; raat hone wali thi. Piche ke seat par Vinay aur Iqbaal phussur phussur kar rahe the aur aguey Abhay aur Slaeem bhai khamosh baithe the aur car raftaar se aguey badh raha tha. Iqbaal ne dhire se Vinay ke kaan mein kaha, “Usska seena hai ya world map, hum donon ke sine ko milakar usska ek seena banega! Itna chawda seena to main ne kissi ka bhi nahi dekha!” Vinay ne ussko phir se kaha, “ssshhh chup!” Saleem bhai itne oonche the he ussko apne gardan ko jhukana padhta tha baithtey waqt car mein, usska sar car ke chhatt se takra rahe the….. Iqbal ne phir Vinay ke kaan mein kaha, “Uss hathyaar ko apne haath se chuhne ko mann kar raha hai, dekh keise chamak raha hai andhere mein bhi!” Vinay bola, “Abe chup karna, woh sun lega usska ek laafa pada to behosh ho jawoge, battissi tumhare seene ke andar honguey!! Hihihihi” Aur donon khi khi khi hans pade…… To Saleem bhai pichey mudhkar unn donon ke dekhte huwe poocha, “Kia huwa bacho? Kiss baat par hanss rahe ho?” To aguey se Abhay bola, “maskare hein donon bhai aap unn logon ke taraf tawaju na dein….” Tab Iqbal bola, “Saleem ji, hum aap ke uss hathyaar ko haath mein lena chahte hein bahot badhya lagta hai…..” Aur abhay aur Vinay bilkool heyraan hokar Saleem bhai ke chehre ko aur ek dusre ko dekhne lage… woh soch rahe the ke Saleem bhai khafa hoga magar unn donon ke heyraangi par Saleem bhai ne samourai ko uthakar piche kiya Iqbaal ke taraf…… Jab Iqbaal ne uss hathyaar ko ek hath se thaama ussko apne taraf karne ko to nahin kar paaya aur donon haathon se uss ko uthana pada uss samourai ko aur Iqbaal ne kaha, “Are baap re baap, itna vazan wala hathyaar hai, ek haath se uthaya nahin jata aap keise ek hath se issko chalaate ho bhai?” To Saleem bhai apne dhadi ko haath se sehlate huwe bola, “Main issko ek talwaar ki tarah chala sakta hoon daayein baayein…..” Aur Iqbaal aur Vinay uss hathyaar ka muayena karne lage apne ungliyon se chuh kar usski tez dhaar dekhte to kabhi usski lambaayi aur vazan………
TBC..
Kuch door tak drive karne ke baad woh ek jagah par car ko park kiya aur donon ko apne saath chalne ko kaha. Wahan bahot dense traffic thi, bahot sare log the aur hulchul si machi thi uss jagah par aur jeise sanss lena mushkil tha wahan bahot bhir bhar the…… Ek patli gali se hokar Iqbal aur Vinay Abhay ke piche piche dawd rahe the kyun ke Abhay ziada hi tez raftaar se chal raha tha seena taane….. Ek jagah par ruke jahan gali ke donon taraf dukaan the aur kuch sabzi bechne wale bhi the raaste ke kone mein the…. kuch aguey chal kar Abhay ek dukaan mein daakhil huwa piche mudhkar apne donon sathiyon ka andar ane ka ishara karte huwe. Ek badbhu si arahi thi andar daakhil hote hi aur teenon ne apne naak par apne apne rumaal lagaaye aur andar ghussne ke baad unko pata chala ke woh ek kasaayi (butcher) ka shop tha. Ek meat shop tha. Counter ke piche ek lamba sa aadmi jisska seena bahot chawda tha aur bade bade haath the usske aur hey bade bade muscles….. lamba daarhi bhi tha kuch safed kuch kale aur usske sar par ek pagri baandha huwa tha…uss waqt woh ek badi si chaakku se murgi ka gosht kaat raha tha…… aur Abhay ne uss se kaha, “Asalaam alaikum Saleem bhai”
Saleem bhai sar uthakar Abhay ko dekhtey huwe khushi se muskurakar kaha, “Arey Abhay beta tu yahan keise? Kahan rehta hai nazar hi nahin ata, kitne dinon ke baad mile ho yaar aa mere gale lagja” Usski awaaz buland thi aur bhaadi bhi… ek monster ke jeise dikhta tha woh Saleem bhai….. Iqbaal aur Vinay ek dusre ko dekhte rahe aur phuss phus apas mein kuch keh rahe the. Udhar Abhay ne Saleem bhai ko ek taraf bulaya baat karne ke liye to Saleem bhai ne awaaz di, “Aare o Parwez! Dukaan sambhaalna main zara Abhay se kuch baat kar raha hoon”
Jab Abhay ne saari baat samjha diya Saleem bhai ko to ussko bhi ghussa aya aur khade hokar poocha, “Main apne kuch aadmiyon ko saath lekar awun?” To Abhay ne kaha, “Nahin Saleem bhai aap akele kaafi ho, dekho ussko maarna nahin bus darana aur dhamkana hai ke woh shaadi ke liye raazi ho jaye, han ekaat thapad laga sakte ho aap balke main ek do ghunssa zaroor marunga ussko, magar aap apne hathyaar se leys hokar jana taake woh sach mein darr hi jaye…” Saleem bai ghar ke andar gaya jo dukaan ke piche tha aur ek lamba sa samourai lekar baahar nikle… uss hathyaar ko dekhte hi rawndde khade ho jate hein, aur jiss mazbuti se Saleem bhai ne apne haath mein ussko pakra tha, eisa lagta tha jeise war filmon ke villain kissi ka khoon karne ke liye nikal raha ho….. Iqbal aur Vinay ke bolti bandh hogaye the woh donon kabhi Abhay ko to kabhi Saleem bhai ko dekh rahe the…. Iqbaal ne dhire se Vinay ko kaha, “Yeh aadmi to bahot danger lagta hai re, Yeh Abhay issko keise jaanta hai? Yeh kia cheeez hai yeh Saleem bhai?” Vinay Iqbaal ko sirf “ssshhhh” kehta hai.
Saleem bhai Abhay ke saath chalne ko tayyaar tha. Aur ussne apne kadak awaaz mein phir phukaar kar kaha, “Ari oh Sakina! Parvez se kehde ke main baahar jaa raha hoon dukaan ko adhe ghante ke baad bandh karle!” Andar se ek khubsurat patli si awaaz sunaayi di “Thik hai abba jaan kehdungi” Uss awaaz ke maalkin ko dekhne ke liye Iqbaal apne peyr ke toes par khade hokar ghar ke andar dekhne ki koshish kar raha tha, itne mein Saleem bhai unn logon ke traf mudhta hai saath chalne ko aur jhat se Iqbal ek taraf dekhne lagta hai aur Vinay ussko dhakka dekar dhire se kehta hai, “marna hai kia tujhko, kia dekh raha hai andar, tere gale ko kaat kar meat shop mein rakhdega bechne ko!” Aur Vinay dhire se hanss pada aur Iqbal apne hanssi ko sambhaalte huwe rumaal mein muhn chupa raha tha…. Saleem bhai 55 saal ke the magar bahot mazboot aur taaqatwar the aur zaalim dikhte the, koyi bhi ussko dekh kar darr jate the. Ussne Abhay se poocha, “Kaun hai Vinay in mein?” To isharey se Abhay Vinay ko batata hai aur Saleem bhai Vinay se poochta hai, “Usske ghar mein aur kitne mard hein?” Vinay jawaab deta hai, “Usska baap aur ek chota ** saal ka bhai hein” Phir Saleem bhai ne poocha, “Aur usske pados mein koyi mard relative vaghaira hai? Main iss liye pooch raha hoon ke agar lafda huwa aur ussne kissi ko bulaya to main apne aadmiyon ko saath lekar apne car mein tum logon ke piche ata hoon” Tab Vinay ne kaha, “Nahin hai usske ghar se door tak koyi ghar hi nahin hai” Saleem bhai tab bola, “To phir thik hai, chalo bacho uss haraam ke pilley ko main dekhta hoon ke keise shaadi nahin karega, kaatke darya mein baha dunga kutte ko!” Iqbal aur Vinay niche zameen par dekhte chupke chupke hanss rahe the aur jab Abhay ne unn donon ko weise hanste huwe dekha to woh bhi chup kar hanssne laga car ke taraf chalte huwe…..
Sab car mein baithe, Saleem chacha aapne lambe samourai ke saath aguey wala seat par baitha aur Iqbal aur Vinay pichey baithe. Gadi start huwi aur 30 kilometeres ka safar karna tha; raat hone wali thi. Piche ke seat par Vinay aur Iqbaal phussur phussur kar rahe the aur aguey Abhay aur Slaeem bhai khamosh baithe the aur car raftaar se aguey badh raha tha. Iqbaal ne dhire se Vinay ke kaan mein kaha, “Usska seena hai ya world map, hum donon ke sine ko milakar usska ek seena banega! Itna chawda seena to main ne kissi ka bhi nahi dekha!” Vinay ne ussko phir se kaha, “ssshhh chup!” Saleem bhai itne oonche the he ussko apne gardan ko jhukana padhta tha baithtey waqt car mein, usska sar car ke chhatt se takra rahe the….. Iqbal ne phir Vinay ke kaan mein kaha, “Uss hathyaar ko apne haath se chuhne ko mann kar raha hai, dekh keise chamak raha hai andhere mein bhi!” Vinay bola, “Abe chup karna, woh sun lega usska ek laafa pada to behosh ho jawoge, battissi tumhare seene ke andar honguey!! Hihihihi” Aur donon khi khi khi hans pade…… To Saleem bhai pichey mudhkar unn donon ke dekhte huwe poocha, “Kia huwa bacho? Kiss baat par hanss rahe ho?” To aguey se Abhay bola, “maskare hein donon bhai aap unn logon ke taraf tawaju na dein….” Tab Iqbal bola, “Saleem ji, hum aap ke uss hathyaar ko haath mein lena chahte hein bahot badhya lagta hai…..” Aur abhay aur Vinay bilkool heyraan hokar Saleem bhai ke chehre ko aur ek dusre ko dekhne lage… woh soch rahe the ke Saleem bhai khafa hoga magar unn donon ke heyraangi par Saleem bhai ne samourai ko uthakar piche kiya Iqbaal ke taraf…… Jab Iqbaal ne uss hathyaar ko ek hath se thaama ussko apne taraf karne ko to nahin kar paaya aur donon haathon se uss ko uthana pada uss samourai ko aur Iqbaal ne kaha, “Are baap re baap, itna vazan wala hathyaar hai, ek haath se uthaya nahin jata aap keise ek hath se issko chalaate ho bhai?” To Saleem bhai apne dhadi ko haath se sehlate huwe bola, “Main issko ek talwaar ki tarah chala sakta hoon daayein baayein…..” Aur Iqbaal aur Vinay uss hathyaar ka muayena karne lage apne ungliyon se chuh kar usski tez dhaar dekhte to kabhi usski lambaayi aur vazan………
TBC..