“Pehala pyar kyaa hai, mai ye kahungi ki pehala pyar wo hai jo aapke dil ko pakad leta hai mera matlab hai ki dil me bas jaata hai, pehale pyar me is baat ka koi farak nahin padta ki kisi ne kitani peeda jheli ya kitana dard saha, wo chahe kitane hi bade dard ka kaaran raha ho, koi farak nahin padta ki kisi ne kitane aansu bahaaye. Pehala pyar wo pyaar hai jo kabhi aapka peecha nahin chhodta or aapki aatma par kabja kar leta hai.”
Ab seedhe story par aati hoon. Ye us ladaki ki kahaani jo abhi abhi apane 20th mein thi jiska naam Deepika tha. Jise main apani delhi yatra ke douran milli thi. Wo window seet pe baithi apane vichaaron me khoyi hui thi jab main train ke coach me enter hui. Main dekha ki wo bahot hi gahare khayalon me khoyi thi.
Main uske saath waali seet par baith kar ye sochane lagi ki wo meri taraf dekhe taki main usko ek achchhi si smile de sakun or kuchh baaten kar sakun kyon ki chuchaap rah kar safar karana meri jaan le leta hai. Us ladaki ke chehare par ek khoobsurat si shanti chhayi hui thi par wo shanti uske chehare par jo dukh tha us dukh ko chhupa nahin pa rahi thi.
Kuchh der baad jab train station se aage badhi tab us ladki dhyaan toota or vartmaan me vapas aayi. Mujhe ek nazar dekh kar mujhe smile di. “ Thank god she smiled at last.” Maine khud se kahaa. Or fir uske baad dono ek doosare se friends ki tarah baaten karane lage. Ek doosare ke bare me kuchh jaan jaane ke baad mujhe pata chala ki wo ek bahot hi pyari , saaf dil or har pal ka mazaa lene waali hansmukh ladki thi. Thode se waqt me hi hum achchhe dost ban gaye or humaare beech me baaten or hansi-mazaak shuru ho gayaa or hum apani baaten share karane lage. Baton-baton me topic aaya pyar.
Pyar shabd kea ate hi Deepika ki aankhe is topic par charcha karne se katraane lagi or uski aankhon me ek ajeeb se udaasi chha gayi. Is baat ne mujhe majboor kar diya ki main jaanu ki aakhir Deepika ke saath kyaa hua or wo kyon pyar ke naam se katra rahi hai. Main ye sab jaanane ke liye utsuk thi ki usake saath kyaa huaa hoga.
Akhir kar Deepika ki aankhon se aansu uske gaalon par bahane lage. Aisa lagta tha ki uski thaki hui aankhen ab or nahin rona chaahti par fir bhi na jaane kin kaarano se khud par kaabu nahin rakh saki or chhoti bachchi ki tarah se rone lagi. Kuchh der rukane ke baad usane aage bataana shuru kiya.
“main ek saal pehale usase net par mili thi. Ab aap isko sanyog samjhe ya bhagya samjho jo humko saath le aaya warna esase pehale maine kabhi bhi net par kisi ajnabi aadami se baat nahin ki thi. Main usake saath bahot hi sahaz hone ki koshish kar rahi thi or na hi mane koi usko koi jhooth bola tha or usaki taraf se bhi main yahi aasha karti thi. Mera yakeen mano wo mujhe net par pehali mulakaat me hi bahot prabhaavshali laga. Usaki baato me na jaane kaisa jaadu tha . hum logo ne apani pasand-napasand share ki or ek doosare ke bare jayaada jaannane ki koshish ki. Or fir mere dimaag ke kisi kone me mere bhagya ne apana kaam shuru kar diya. Baaten karte-karte hum milane ka intazaar karne lage kyon ki mujhe lagaa ki hum dono hi puri tarah se ek samaan hain. Humaari saari baaten ek-doosare se kitna mel khati thi. Main to yahaan tak sochane lagi thi kaash bas ek wahi ladka hai bas main hi ke ladki hoon.
Hum dono me itani gahari dosti ho chuki thi ki aapas me hansi mazaak hansna rona or apani sabhi baaten share karna matalab itna frank ho chuki thi jaise ki apane sabhi dosto ke saath thi. Main to shuru me sirf dosti tak hi simit thi par shayad wo mujhe chahne laga tha. Bahot baar usane ye kahaa ki usse meri personality ka har pehalu usko bahot bhaata hai and I am a wonderful person . or bahot baar usne hints chhode apani baat ko kahane ke liye. Par main uske diye gaye hints ko ignore kar jaati topic change kar ke naya topic shuru kar deti. Hum der raat tak net par ghanto baaten karte apani studies , books movies and music sabhi topics par der raat tak lage rahte the. Humaara time itna badhiya beet rahaa tha ki main ye kah sakti hoon ki isase achchha samay mere liye kabhi nahi aaya or itani khush kabhi bhi nahi rahi jitana us samay thi. Usake baad humane apane cell phone numbers exchange kiye. Pehale to hum sirf net par milte the usake baad to din or raat aaps me baaten karte rahte or wo samay bhi aa gaya jab hum ek doosare se baat kiye bina nahin rah sakte the.
Ek din ki baat hai jab wo usaki baton se bahot hi romantic lag raha tha, mujhe kahane laga ki “ tum jaanti ho pyar kaise hota hai. Hum kabhi soch kar pyar nahin karte bus ye to ho jaata hai or kahane laga ki pyar andha hota hai ye kuchh nahin dekhta hona hota hai to bas ho jaata hai.” Jo ki mujhe ho chukaa tha. Main pyar me pad chuki thi ek andhe pyar me. Ek aise aadmi ke pyar me jise main aaj tak nahin mili yahaan tak ki jise aaj tak maine apani asal jindgi me dekha bhi nahi hai . maine kahin padha tha ki “ sachche pyar ko do cheharon , do shariron ki jaroorat nahi hoti , agar pyar me kuchh chahiye to wo hain do aatma jo ek doosare ko mehsoos kar saken.” Or ab hakiqut me main is theory ko ho to follow kar rahi thi.
Or fir aage apani kahaani sunaate hue kahane lagi,” karuna tum mujhe is samay bahot badi bewakoof ladki samajh rahi hogi ki main kisi se online milti hoon or bagair us insaan ko jaane pehachane , bagair usko mile kaise main us insaan se baat kar sakti hoon. Par yakeen maano jab hum baat karte the us waqt sirf hum hi hote the . hum dono ko koi teesara insaan mehsoos hi nahi hota tha.
6 mahine ke baad ek din usane mere saamane apane pyar ka izhaar bhi kar diya. Uske pyar ka izhaar sun kar main bahot hi jyaada khush thi par sath-sath main thoda confuse bhi thi ki main kyaa kahoon . asmanjas ki sthiti ke kaaran us waqt main kuchh nahin boli par andar dil se main bahot hi jyada khush thi. Mere confusion ki sthiti ko usane bhali-bhanti samjha aisa maine mehsoos kiya or shayad isiliye usane mere upar is baat ke liye jor bhi nahin daala ki main jaldi se usaki baat ka jawaab doon. Har aate hue naye din me wo mere liye jyaada loving and caring hota jaa rahaa tha jo ki mujhe bahot pasand tha or har aata huaa naya din mujhe uske pyar me dubota jaa raha tha. Main samjhti thi ki ye hum dono ke liye ek bahot hi pious feeling thi. Or aakhir me wo waqt bhi aaya jab maine uska proposal swikaar kar liya or kahaa ki hum kitana pyar Karen ki hum pehale se or jyaada kareeb aa jaayen.
Humko net par mile huye 1 saal beet chukka tha. Jahaan tak mujhe yaad hai is ek saal me humaare beech kabhi koi ladaai-jhagda nahin hua. Na to usane kabhi mujhse jhagda kiya or na hi maine. Sab kuchh bahot hi badhiya se gujar raha tha , humaare pyar ki baaten , net par hansana-khelna or humaare sukh-dukh ki baaten. Hum logon ne apani future life bhi plan karani shuroo kar di thi , wo future life jab hum dono humesha ke liye sath honge.
Wo humesha kahata tha ki main hi uski soul mate hoon or har janam me humaraa sath rahega. Uski ye baaten mujhe or jyaada uske kareeb le jaati or bahot khushi deti thi. Ek ladki ko or kyaa chahti hai yahi ki use jo jeewan sathi mile imaandar ho sachchha ho or use bahot pyaar kare, yahi na. or main samajhti thi ki mujhe wo mil gaya.
“ Deepika , fir aage kyaa hua bataao. Kyaa tum mile.’’ Mere itana bolte hi fir usaki aankhon se aansu bahane lage. Fir khud ko control karte hue bolna shuru kiya.
“ Ek din ki baat hai jab use message karne ke liye online huyi jisko main apana jeewan saathi maan chuki thi. Mujhe net par uski profile hi nahin mili. Is baat ne mujhe buri tarah se pareshaan kar diya. Fir achaanak mere dimaang me ye baat aayi or maine yahi socha ki ho na ho server me koi problem hai jiski vajah se ye problem ho rahi hai. Tab maine socha ki chhodo net ko main phone par baat kar leti hoon or apna cell phone uthaya or uska number dial kiya. No. dial karne ke baad sirf ye awaaj aayi, " the no. you are trying to call does not exist." Or fir phone cut gaya. Main uske jitane bhi no. janti thi sabhi no. dial kiye but the response was same , “ the no. you are trying to call does not exist”. Us waqt mujhe jo jhatka laga main nahin kah sakti. Mere pairon ke neeche se jameen hi sarak gayi. Tarah-tarah ke bhaav mere chehare par aa rahe the or jaa rahe the. Mujhe gussa bhi bahot aa raha tha. Par tum hi bataao main us samaiy kya karti. Jahaan tak mujhe yaad hai pehali baar jab hum mile the us din se lekar uski profile net se gaayab hone tak koi ek din bhi aisa nahin tha jab humane baat nahi ki ho. Aisa koi bhi din nahi tha jab wo mujhe phone na karta ho. Tab maine yahi decide kiya ki main intzaar karoon jab tak wo mujhe call kare. Gujarta hua har pal mujhe pareshaan kar rahaa tha or meri duvidha ko or badhaa rahaa tha . fir mere paas koi doosara option bhi nahin tha intzaar ke alaawa kyon ki uska phone to mil hi nahi raha tha Or na hi main uske bare me kisi se baat kar sakti thi. Gujarte hue lamhe ghanton me badle , ghante dino me badal gaye par aaj tak wo mujhe nahin dikhayi diya.” Itna bol kar wo fir subakne lagi.
Toote hue dil ki dastaan sun kar meri aankhen bhi gili ho gayi. Ek time tha jab dono ek doosare ko dilo-jaan se chahte the or pyaar karte the . par aaj Deepika apane premi ki feelings ko lekar pakki nahin hai. Wo yahi sochti rahti hai ki kyaa wo aaj bhi use pyaar karta hai ya nahin karta? Kyaa waastav me usne mujh se pyaar kiyaa or utana kiya jitna ki khud Deepika ne kiya? Wo aaj bhi apane aap me sochti rahti hai ki kyaa koi insaan apani bhawnaaon ko jhuthla sakta hai ya fir kisi doosare insaan ki bhaawnaon ke saath khel sakta hai , un bhawnaaon ko dhokha de sakta hai. Agar haan to kaise or kab tak “ how long”. Wo ab yahi baat sochti hai ki uske premi ne jo pyar bhari baaten boli thi jo pyar bhare khoobsurat shabdon ka prayog karta tha kya wo sab jhoothe the ? kyaa wo sab ek dikhaawa tha?
Apane dimaang mein paida hote In sabhi swaalon ke bawjood mujhe yahi lagta hai ki Deepika aaj bhi apane internet par mile premi ko bahot pyar karti hai. Wo jitna uski bare me sochti utna hi uska pyar badhta hai.
Ab seedhe story par aati hoon. Ye us ladaki ki kahaani jo abhi abhi apane 20th mein thi jiska naam Deepika tha. Jise main apani delhi yatra ke douran milli thi. Wo window seet pe baithi apane vichaaron me khoyi hui thi jab main train ke coach me enter hui. Main dekha ki wo bahot hi gahare khayalon me khoyi thi.
Main uske saath waali seet par baith kar ye sochane lagi ki wo meri taraf dekhe taki main usko ek achchhi si smile de sakun or kuchh baaten kar sakun kyon ki chuchaap rah kar safar karana meri jaan le leta hai. Us ladaki ke chehare par ek khoobsurat si shanti chhayi hui thi par wo shanti uske chehare par jo dukh tha us dukh ko chhupa nahin pa rahi thi.
Kuchh der baad jab train station se aage badhi tab us ladki dhyaan toota or vartmaan me vapas aayi. Mujhe ek nazar dekh kar mujhe smile di. “ Thank god she smiled at last.” Maine khud se kahaa. Or fir uske baad dono ek doosare se friends ki tarah baaten karane lage. Ek doosare ke bare me kuchh jaan jaane ke baad mujhe pata chala ki wo ek bahot hi pyari , saaf dil or har pal ka mazaa lene waali hansmukh ladki thi. Thode se waqt me hi hum achchhe dost ban gaye or humaare beech me baaten or hansi-mazaak shuru ho gayaa or hum apani baaten share karane lage. Baton-baton me topic aaya pyar.
Pyar shabd kea ate hi Deepika ki aankhe is topic par charcha karne se katraane lagi or uski aankhon me ek ajeeb se udaasi chha gayi. Is baat ne mujhe majboor kar diya ki main jaanu ki aakhir Deepika ke saath kyaa hua or wo kyon pyar ke naam se katra rahi hai. Main ye sab jaanane ke liye utsuk thi ki usake saath kyaa huaa hoga.
Akhir kar Deepika ki aankhon se aansu uske gaalon par bahane lage. Aisa lagta tha ki uski thaki hui aankhen ab or nahin rona chaahti par fir bhi na jaane kin kaarano se khud par kaabu nahin rakh saki or chhoti bachchi ki tarah se rone lagi. Kuchh der rukane ke baad usane aage bataana shuru kiya.
“main ek saal pehale usase net par mili thi. Ab aap isko sanyog samjhe ya bhagya samjho jo humko saath le aaya warna esase pehale maine kabhi bhi net par kisi ajnabi aadami se baat nahin ki thi. Main usake saath bahot hi sahaz hone ki koshish kar rahi thi or na hi mane koi usko koi jhooth bola tha or usaki taraf se bhi main yahi aasha karti thi. Mera yakeen mano wo mujhe net par pehali mulakaat me hi bahot prabhaavshali laga. Usaki baato me na jaane kaisa jaadu tha . hum logo ne apani pasand-napasand share ki or ek doosare ke bare jayaada jaannane ki koshish ki. Or fir mere dimaag ke kisi kone me mere bhagya ne apana kaam shuru kar diya. Baaten karte-karte hum milane ka intazaar karne lage kyon ki mujhe lagaa ki hum dono hi puri tarah se ek samaan hain. Humaari saari baaten ek-doosare se kitna mel khati thi. Main to yahaan tak sochane lagi thi kaash bas ek wahi ladka hai bas main hi ke ladki hoon.
Hum dono me itani gahari dosti ho chuki thi ki aapas me hansi mazaak hansna rona or apani sabhi baaten share karna matalab itna frank ho chuki thi jaise ki apane sabhi dosto ke saath thi. Main to shuru me sirf dosti tak hi simit thi par shayad wo mujhe chahne laga tha. Bahot baar usane ye kahaa ki usse meri personality ka har pehalu usko bahot bhaata hai and I am a wonderful person . or bahot baar usne hints chhode apani baat ko kahane ke liye. Par main uske diye gaye hints ko ignore kar jaati topic change kar ke naya topic shuru kar deti. Hum der raat tak net par ghanto baaten karte apani studies , books movies and music sabhi topics par der raat tak lage rahte the. Humaara time itna badhiya beet rahaa tha ki main ye kah sakti hoon ki isase achchha samay mere liye kabhi nahi aaya or itani khush kabhi bhi nahi rahi jitana us samay thi. Usake baad humane apane cell phone numbers exchange kiye. Pehale to hum sirf net par milte the usake baad to din or raat aaps me baaten karte rahte or wo samay bhi aa gaya jab hum ek doosare se baat kiye bina nahin rah sakte the.
Ek din ki baat hai jab wo usaki baton se bahot hi romantic lag raha tha, mujhe kahane laga ki “ tum jaanti ho pyar kaise hota hai. Hum kabhi soch kar pyar nahin karte bus ye to ho jaata hai or kahane laga ki pyar andha hota hai ye kuchh nahin dekhta hona hota hai to bas ho jaata hai.” Jo ki mujhe ho chukaa tha. Main pyar me pad chuki thi ek andhe pyar me. Ek aise aadmi ke pyar me jise main aaj tak nahin mili yahaan tak ki jise aaj tak maine apani asal jindgi me dekha bhi nahi hai . maine kahin padha tha ki “ sachche pyar ko do cheharon , do shariron ki jaroorat nahi hoti , agar pyar me kuchh chahiye to wo hain do aatma jo ek doosare ko mehsoos kar saken.” Or ab hakiqut me main is theory ko ho to follow kar rahi thi.
Or fir aage apani kahaani sunaate hue kahane lagi,” karuna tum mujhe is samay bahot badi bewakoof ladki samajh rahi hogi ki main kisi se online milti hoon or bagair us insaan ko jaane pehachane , bagair usko mile kaise main us insaan se baat kar sakti hoon. Par yakeen maano jab hum baat karte the us waqt sirf hum hi hote the . hum dono ko koi teesara insaan mehsoos hi nahi hota tha.
6 mahine ke baad ek din usane mere saamane apane pyar ka izhaar bhi kar diya. Uske pyar ka izhaar sun kar main bahot hi jyaada khush thi par sath-sath main thoda confuse bhi thi ki main kyaa kahoon . asmanjas ki sthiti ke kaaran us waqt main kuchh nahin boli par andar dil se main bahot hi jyada khush thi. Mere confusion ki sthiti ko usane bhali-bhanti samjha aisa maine mehsoos kiya or shayad isiliye usane mere upar is baat ke liye jor bhi nahin daala ki main jaldi se usaki baat ka jawaab doon. Har aate hue naye din me wo mere liye jyaada loving and caring hota jaa rahaa tha jo ki mujhe bahot pasand tha or har aata huaa naya din mujhe uske pyar me dubota jaa raha tha. Main samjhti thi ki ye hum dono ke liye ek bahot hi pious feeling thi. Or aakhir me wo waqt bhi aaya jab maine uska proposal swikaar kar liya or kahaa ki hum kitana pyar Karen ki hum pehale se or jyaada kareeb aa jaayen.
Humko net par mile huye 1 saal beet chukka tha. Jahaan tak mujhe yaad hai is ek saal me humaare beech kabhi koi ladaai-jhagda nahin hua. Na to usane kabhi mujhse jhagda kiya or na hi maine. Sab kuchh bahot hi badhiya se gujar raha tha , humaare pyar ki baaten , net par hansana-khelna or humaare sukh-dukh ki baaten. Hum logon ne apani future life bhi plan karani shuroo kar di thi , wo future life jab hum dono humesha ke liye sath honge.
Wo humesha kahata tha ki main hi uski soul mate hoon or har janam me humaraa sath rahega. Uski ye baaten mujhe or jyaada uske kareeb le jaati or bahot khushi deti thi. Ek ladki ko or kyaa chahti hai yahi ki use jo jeewan sathi mile imaandar ho sachchha ho or use bahot pyaar kare, yahi na. or main samajhti thi ki mujhe wo mil gaya.
“ Deepika , fir aage kyaa hua bataao. Kyaa tum mile.’’ Mere itana bolte hi fir usaki aankhon se aansu bahane lage. Fir khud ko control karte hue bolna shuru kiya.
“ Ek din ki baat hai jab use message karne ke liye online huyi jisko main apana jeewan saathi maan chuki thi. Mujhe net par uski profile hi nahin mili. Is baat ne mujhe buri tarah se pareshaan kar diya. Fir achaanak mere dimaang me ye baat aayi or maine yahi socha ki ho na ho server me koi problem hai jiski vajah se ye problem ho rahi hai. Tab maine socha ki chhodo net ko main phone par baat kar leti hoon or apna cell phone uthaya or uska number dial kiya. No. dial karne ke baad sirf ye awaaj aayi, " the no. you are trying to call does not exist." Or fir phone cut gaya. Main uske jitane bhi no. janti thi sabhi no. dial kiye but the response was same , “ the no. you are trying to call does not exist”. Us waqt mujhe jo jhatka laga main nahin kah sakti. Mere pairon ke neeche se jameen hi sarak gayi. Tarah-tarah ke bhaav mere chehare par aa rahe the or jaa rahe the. Mujhe gussa bhi bahot aa raha tha. Par tum hi bataao main us samaiy kya karti. Jahaan tak mujhe yaad hai pehali baar jab hum mile the us din se lekar uski profile net se gaayab hone tak koi ek din bhi aisa nahin tha jab humane baat nahi ki ho. Aisa koi bhi din nahi tha jab wo mujhe phone na karta ho. Tab maine yahi decide kiya ki main intzaar karoon jab tak wo mujhe call kare. Gujarta hua har pal mujhe pareshaan kar rahaa tha or meri duvidha ko or badhaa rahaa tha . fir mere paas koi doosara option bhi nahin tha intzaar ke alaawa kyon ki uska phone to mil hi nahi raha tha Or na hi main uske bare me kisi se baat kar sakti thi. Gujarte hue lamhe ghanton me badle , ghante dino me badal gaye par aaj tak wo mujhe nahin dikhayi diya.” Itna bol kar wo fir subakne lagi.
Toote hue dil ki dastaan sun kar meri aankhen bhi gili ho gayi. Ek time tha jab dono ek doosare ko dilo-jaan se chahte the or pyaar karte the . par aaj Deepika apane premi ki feelings ko lekar pakki nahin hai. Wo yahi sochti rahti hai ki kyaa wo aaj bhi use pyaar karta hai ya nahin karta? Kyaa waastav me usne mujh se pyaar kiyaa or utana kiya jitna ki khud Deepika ne kiya? Wo aaj bhi apane aap me sochti rahti hai ki kyaa koi insaan apani bhawnaaon ko jhuthla sakta hai ya fir kisi doosare insaan ki bhaawnaon ke saath khel sakta hai , un bhawnaaon ko dhokha de sakta hai. Agar haan to kaise or kab tak “ how long”. Wo ab yahi baat sochti hai ki uske premi ne jo pyar bhari baaten boli thi jo pyar bhare khoobsurat shabdon ka prayog karta tha kya wo sab jhoothe the ? kyaa wo sab ek dikhaawa tha?
Apane dimaang mein paida hote In sabhi swaalon ke bawjood mujhe yahi lagta hai ki Deepika aaj bhi apane internet par mile premi ko bahot pyar karti hai. Wo jitna uski bare me sochti utna hi uska pyar badhta hai.