Dawn at Midnight.
Book 1: Transmigration. Chapter 5: Glimmer of hope, fades
Days passed without much ripples. After I returned to my house in DumDum, I was given some freedom. Then I was at least allowed to close my door of my room at night.
On the first day when I locked my door, I took out his diary and read that for a long time. He loved to write stories and poems. All those were very, very funny. I laughed a lot while reading those poems. Truly speaking, some were good but most of them were nonsense. And that nonsense made me laugh at night. I was able to breathe again in the fresh air. Gradually I was feeling happy again as that diary was with me and I was at least able to read his memoirs every night.
ChotoMa and Babu were also happy to see my smiling face. But they didn’t know the reason behind my smiling face.
The day was two weeks before Christmas; first marriage anniversary of Subroto and Maithili. It was also the day I met him. It was a memorable day for me. The day of my first kiss, although it was on my forehead but it was the most sweetest and most precious. It was early morning and I was still in my bed remembering those sweet moments and was smiling inside my heart.
I knew by my heart that he must be feeling those same and I knew he would somehow try to contact me.
ChotoMa and Babu had just finished calling Maithili and Subroto to wish them their first anniversary. She asked for me but ignored them with some pretext. I told ChotoMa to tell them that I was in bathroom and I would call them afterwards.
It was the venomous curse of Maithili that took him away from me.
I was getting ready for my college. ChotoMa already left for her school. Babu was near to the telephone and I was in my room when the phone rang.
I was about to run to pick up the phone, but Babu answered. I stood at the door of my room. My heart was telling me that the call was from him.
Babu---“Hello who is this?”
Some one answered, but I was unable to fathom as who was on the other end. Whatever the answer was, that made his face muscles strained, jaws clenched. I could observe all those facial expressions of Babu as I observed his face from his side. I was standing behind him at the entrance of my room. His back was towards me.
---“We are well. Why have you called?”
From that answer I was sure that it was him on the other end. My heart galloped like a race horse trying to finish the race. I was trying to gather all my strength to get into that receiver of the phone, just to hear his voice. I clasped the curtain.
---“She is not here. She has gone to her native place.”
He was not aware that telephone was there at my native place by then. He would unable to cross-check what Babu told him. I closed my eyes, my sight went hazy. My face turned red and my ears were burning.
---“Yes she is studying M.Sc. We have finalized her marriage. After her M.Sc. she will get married soon.”
I couldn’t know what his reaction was on the other end, but I stood there as a lifeless corpse on hearing those words. The whole world shook in front of my eyes. I lost myself into deep oblivion. The only thought that ran in my mind was that I lost him forever. Hope that he doesn’t lose himself and keep a faith in me.
---“Don’t call us again and try to mess her life. She is happy with what has come.”
I closed the door behind me very quietly, so as not to make any noise. I tore the pillow apart to vent my agony. I cried my heart out in utter pain. He called but I was not able to talk to him. I bit the pillow between my teeth to drowse my cries and the gurgles inside my chest.
Babu knocked the door---“ShonaMa, you are getting late for college. Are you ok?”
I screamed out with all my strength---“NO I AM NOT OK. JUST GO AWAY. How could you all do this to me?” Not a single sound came out from my lips. I buried all those cries deep inside my heart.
I wiped my face and said to Babu---“I am not feeling well today.”
---“Ok, take rest then. Let your ChotoMa return, she will take you to the doctor.”
At least I was relieved that he didn’t observe me standing behind him and eaves dropping his conversation, else another second world war would have started that night.
I kept to myself after that incident and that was noticed by my friends. Teesta and Delish wanted to know, but I was not at all in a position to tell them as what all had happened. After that day, I crawled deep in a shell like a hermit crab. Only thought that rang time and again inside my brain, heart, mind and soul, I have lost him. That one sentence of Babu was enough for the glimmer of hope to get faded.
Few days after that incident, I stood at the College Street bus-stand waiting for my bus. The winter had already set in Kolkata. The festive season of Christmas could be felt in the air. I was in a salwar and a cardigan. I was feeling cold all due to heavy heart. Few busses passed by but I was lost somewhere else in his thought. Someone touched my shoulder.
---“You are standing here since long time. Two or three busses of your route had already passed.”
I recognized the voice; it was of Sankho Chakroborty of our class only. We talked very less as he was bit timid guy. He was not so tall, just medium built medium height guy. Very, very normal looking person and he were studious. He never had courage to talk to me as Teesta, Delisha, Debobroto and few others were always with me. I was also counted as a very, very studious and snobby person. It was all due to my quiet nature. Probably I talked less, mingled with less people.
I smiled faintly at him---“Just like that. All those busses were crowded so I was just waiting for some other bus.”
He asked me---“Want to walk with me till Sealdah? From there you will get several buses for your home.”
I nodded my head “Ok”.
As soon as we started to walk I heard a whistle. On hearing that I was sure that cunning Debobroto had definitely seen us together and he would surely make my life hell.
He came running towards me and asked---“Sankho? I am surprised to find you walking away with my girlfriend.”
He teased me a lot and he always wanted to bring smile on my gloom face. On hearing those words I flung my bag at him. Sankho was shy person so he kept quiet.
He patted on Sankho’s back and said to him---“Now you can go. I will take her from here.”
I yelled at him---“You rascal, am I your property?”
He teased me again---“Not yet.”
Sankho’s scratched his scalp and quietly walked away.
After he went away, Debobroto all of sudden became serious and asked me---“What has happened to you? Since few days, I have observed that you are not talking properly with anyone.”
I shook my head and said to him---“Nothing I am well. I am heavy hearted due to demise of my eldest-sister-in-law nothing else.”
“Hey come on” He nudged me by my shoulder.
I looked at him, felt relieved by his friendly gesture.
He asked me---“Are you going somewhere this winter?”
I shook my head---“No. Are you going?”
---“Yes”
---“Where?”
---“New Delhi, my eldest sister is there.”
My heart skipped. Place where he was. My eyes flashed which was unnoticed by him.
He asked---“What happened?”
I almost pleaded him---“Will you do me a favour when you will be in Delhi?”
---“Sure, what?”
I only knew Suprotim Da’s residence number and nothing else. When we went to his house, he came in his car. Only thing I knew that the house was near a big market and there was kali temple near his house.
I said to him---“I will give one letter and a phone number. Could you please contact that number and take that address and give that letter to that person?”
His eyes flashed mischievously---“Hmmmm….. Old affair.”
I shook my head---“NO, NO, NO, he is husband of a good friend of mine.”
He was unable to understand anything---“You want me to meet the husband of your friend?”
---“Yes, you promised me that you will do that.”
“Ok” he nodded. “I will be going in first week of January, give your message before that.”
I was happy as I knew that my letter would at least bring some news. I was happy that I got a messenger to carry my news. But I was skeptical about finding the right person, as I didn’t know Suprotim Da’s address. Only what I knew was his phone number.
After few days, I gave a letter to Debobroto addressed to Suprotim Da. In that letter I wrote to Suprotim Da, asking about my heartbeat’s whereabouts and to keep faith in me.
I was happy for another reason also; ChotoMa promised me that she would present me a cell-phone. But no one talked about the cell-phone in the house. The dinner table conversation and all others were very normal. No one talked about buying me a cell-phone. I was skeptical about the cell-phone after few days.
The Christmas arrived. On the morning of Christmas as I woke up I found that ChotoMa and Babu, as usual they were early birds, so they were sipping tea in the drawing room.
When I came out of the bathroom after getting fresh, I found a gift pack on my bed.
I was very happy as I opened the pack and found a Nokia handset model 3330. I sensed my freedom through that phone.
I ran to drawing room and thanked ChotoMa and Babu.
She smiled at me and said---“Happy now?”
My face was beaming with a smile of thousand volts---“Very happy.”
“But there is a caution….” She said to me. And I was expecting that.
She said to me---“Promise me, that you will not do anything that will stoop down our faces in front of the society.”
All the glimmers were just gone by that single sentence. I walked silently to my room without answering her.
She came behind me---“What? I have not got your answer yet.”
I clutched the phone in one hand and with another I hold the chair.
Book 1: Transmigration. Chapter 5: Glimmer of hope, fades
Days passed without much ripples. After I returned to my house in DumDum, I was given some freedom. Then I was at least allowed to close my door of my room at night.
On the first day when I locked my door, I took out his diary and read that for a long time. He loved to write stories and poems. All those were very, very funny. I laughed a lot while reading those poems. Truly speaking, some were good but most of them were nonsense. And that nonsense made me laugh at night. I was able to breathe again in the fresh air. Gradually I was feeling happy again as that diary was with me and I was at least able to read his memoirs every night.
ChotoMa and Babu were also happy to see my smiling face. But they didn’t know the reason behind my smiling face.
The day was two weeks before Christmas; first marriage anniversary of Subroto and Maithili. It was also the day I met him. It was a memorable day for me. The day of my first kiss, although it was on my forehead but it was the most sweetest and most precious. It was early morning and I was still in my bed remembering those sweet moments and was smiling inside my heart.
I knew by my heart that he must be feeling those same and I knew he would somehow try to contact me.
ChotoMa and Babu had just finished calling Maithili and Subroto to wish them their first anniversary. She asked for me but ignored them with some pretext. I told ChotoMa to tell them that I was in bathroom and I would call them afterwards.
It was the venomous curse of Maithili that took him away from me.
I was getting ready for my college. ChotoMa already left for her school. Babu was near to the telephone and I was in my room when the phone rang.
I was about to run to pick up the phone, but Babu answered. I stood at the door of my room. My heart was telling me that the call was from him.
Babu---“Hello who is this?”
Some one answered, but I was unable to fathom as who was on the other end. Whatever the answer was, that made his face muscles strained, jaws clenched. I could observe all those facial expressions of Babu as I observed his face from his side. I was standing behind him at the entrance of my room. His back was towards me.
---“We are well. Why have you called?”
From that answer I was sure that it was him on the other end. My heart galloped like a race horse trying to finish the race. I was trying to gather all my strength to get into that receiver of the phone, just to hear his voice. I clasped the curtain.
---“She is not here. She has gone to her native place.”
He was not aware that telephone was there at my native place by then. He would unable to cross-check what Babu told him. I closed my eyes, my sight went hazy. My face turned red and my ears were burning.
---“Yes she is studying M.Sc. We have finalized her marriage. After her M.Sc. she will get married soon.”
I couldn’t know what his reaction was on the other end, but I stood there as a lifeless corpse on hearing those words. The whole world shook in front of my eyes. I lost myself into deep oblivion. The only thought that ran in my mind was that I lost him forever. Hope that he doesn’t lose himself and keep a faith in me.
---“Don’t call us again and try to mess her life. She is happy with what has come.”
I closed the door behind me very quietly, so as not to make any noise. I tore the pillow apart to vent my agony. I cried my heart out in utter pain. He called but I was not able to talk to him. I bit the pillow between my teeth to drowse my cries and the gurgles inside my chest.
Babu knocked the door---“ShonaMa, you are getting late for college. Are you ok?”
I screamed out with all my strength---“NO I AM NOT OK. JUST GO AWAY. How could you all do this to me?” Not a single sound came out from my lips. I buried all those cries deep inside my heart.
I wiped my face and said to Babu---“I am not feeling well today.”
---“Ok, take rest then. Let your ChotoMa return, she will take you to the doctor.”
At least I was relieved that he didn’t observe me standing behind him and eaves dropping his conversation, else another second world war would have started that night.
I kept to myself after that incident and that was noticed by my friends. Teesta and Delish wanted to know, but I was not at all in a position to tell them as what all had happened. After that day, I crawled deep in a shell like a hermit crab. Only thought that rang time and again inside my brain, heart, mind and soul, I have lost him. That one sentence of Babu was enough for the glimmer of hope to get faded.
Few days after that incident, I stood at the College Street bus-stand waiting for my bus. The winter had already set in Kolkata. The festive season of Christmas could be felt in the air. I was in a salwar and a cardigan. I was feeling cold all due to heavy heart. Few busses passed by but I was lost somewhere else in his thought. Someone touched my shoulder.
---“You are standing here since long time. Two or three busses of your route had already passed.”
I recognized the voice; it was of Sankho Chakroborty of our class only. We talked very less as he was bit timid guy. He was not so tall, just medium built medium height guy. Very, very normal looking person and he were studious. He never had courage to talk to me as Teesta, Delisha, Debobroto and few others were always with me. I was also counted as a very, very studious and snobby person. It was all due to my quiet nature. Probably I talked less, mingled with less people.
I smiled faintly at him---“Just like that. All those busses were crowded so I was just waiting for some other bus.”
He asked me---“Want to walk with me till Sealdah? From there you will get several buses for your home.”
I nodded my head “Ok”.
As soon as we started to walk I heard a whistle. On hearing that I was sure that cunning Debobroto had definitely seen us together and he would surely make my life hell.
He came running towards me and asked---“Sankho? I am surprised to find you walking away with my girlfriend.”
He teased me a lot and he always wanted to bring smile on my gloom face. On hearing those words I flung my bag at him. Sankho was shy person so he kept quiet.
He patted on Sankho’s back and said to him---“Now you can go. I will take her from here.”
I yelled at him---“You rascal, am I your property?”
He teased me again---“Not yet.”
Sankho’s scratched his scalp and quietly walked away.
After he went away, Debobroto all of sudden became serious and asked me---“What has happened to you? Since few days, I have observed that you are not talking properly with anyone.”
I shook my head and said to him---“Nothing I am well. I am heavy hearted due to demise of my eldest-sister-in-law nothing else.”
“Hey come on” He nudged me by my shoulder.
I looked at him, felt relieved by his friendly gesture.
He asked me---“Are you going somewhere this winter?”
I shook my head---“No. Are you going?”
---“Yes”
---“Where?”
---“New Delhi, my eldest sister is there.”
My heart skipped. Place where he was. My eyes flashed which was unnoticed by him.
He asked---“What happened?”
I almost pleaded him---“Will you do me a favour when you will be in Delhi?”
---“Sure, what?”
I only knew Suprotim Da’s residence number and nothing else. When we went to his house, he came in his car. Only thing I knew that the house was near a big market and there was kali temple near his house.
I said to him---“I will give one letter and a phone number. Could you please contact that number and take that address and give that letter to that person?”
His eyes flashed mischievously---“Hmmmm….. Old affair.”
I shook my head---“NO, NO, NO, he is husband of a good friend of mine.”
He was unable to understand anything---“You want me to meet the husband of your friend?”
---“Yes, you promised me that you will do that.”
“Ok” he nodded. “I will be going in first week of January, give your message before that.”
I was happy as I knew that my letter would at least bring some news. I was happy that I got a messenger to carry my news. But I was skeptical about finding the right person, as I didn’t know Suprotim Da’s address. Only what I knew was his phone number.
After few days, I gave a letter to Debobroto addressed to Suprotim Da. In that letter I wrote to Suprotim Da, asking about my heartbeat’s whereabouts and to keep faith in me.
I was happy for another reason also; ChotoMa promised me that she would present me a cell-phone. But no one talked about the cell-phone in the house. The dinner table conversation and all others were very normal. No one talked about buying me a cell-phone. I was skeptical about the cell-phone after few days.
The Christmas arrived. On the morning of Christmas as I woke up I found that ChotoMa and Babu, as usual they were early birds, so they were sipping tea in the drawing room.
When I came out of the bathroom after getting fresh, I found a gift pack on my bed.
I was very happy as I opened the pack and found a Nokia handset model 3330. I sensed my freedom through that phone.
I ran to drawing room and thanked ChotoMa and Babu.
She smiled at me and said---“Happy now?”
My face was beaming with a smile of thousand volts---“Very happy.”
“But there is a caution….” She said to me. And I was expecting that.
She said to me---“Promise me, that you will not do anything that will stoop down our faces in front of the society.”
All the glimmers were just gone by that single sentence. I walked silently to my room without answering her.
She came behind me---“What? I have not got your answer yet.”
I clutched the phone in one hand and with another I hold the chair.