Dawn at Midnight.
Book 2: Blistered Feet. Chapter 8: Conceive of Angel
During the dinner, I could not swallow my food, Niladri was all-silent. The silence was killing me.
It was late night as usual. I was in my nightdress. The doorbell rang. It was Himadri. I gave a blank look at his face and came in my room. Niladri was sitting in the drawing room, watching TV.
He entered after me and asked---“How was your journey?”
I nodded my head “Ok.”
His voice was very cold, probably the hatred in my heart made his voice sounded like ice.
He came near me; I sensed his breaths on my nape. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand on my shoulder---“I missed you.”
I bit my lips as those words poured down molten lava on my face. Series of waves culminated on the shore of my chest. To support myself I held the chair. My shoulder was burning where he kept his palm. I could not bear his touch on my shoulder.
Gently I removed his hand from my shoulder and said to him---“Why are you so late?”
He lied; he lied in cold blood---“It was office, Suchi.”
I gave a piercing look at his face. He looked away, avoiding the direct eye contact. “Has he understood that he was caught? Nevertheless, his voice was very normal and cold as usual. How should I start confronting him? How to start?”
I fixated my gaze on his face to fathom his expressions---“I expected you, Himadri, to bring me back. However, you were not there. Why?”
He did not look at my face and answered---“It was my work, Suchi. You know very well as how busy, I am.” He gave a queer look at my face “I have drowned myself in my work, Suchi, same as you.”
“Lie and deceit, Himadri. Just spew out venom, Himadri that you do not want me anymore. I will be more than happy. It was my fault, from the very beginning that I did not wait for the person I loved most. I tried hard to gather myself but I failed. You could have told me, why you kept me in dark, Himadri. Why?” No I did not spoke those to him; instead, I stood as a granite effigy, covered with his chicane words.
My face was burning while whose words were beating my eardrums. My gaze was spewing molten blood instead of tears. I spoke in an ice-cold voice---“Who is Shalini, Himadri?”
All of a sudden, a huge stream of blood gushed on his face. He gave a bewildered look at me. He was not at all prepared for that question, I knew that very well. I was also not prepared for that question to ask him all of a sudden. What made me ask that, I did not know?
He screamed at me---“Who?”
A cold voice came again out of my lips---“Shalini, your college friend.”
---“Who told you?”
---“It is not the question, Himadri, who informed me. Who is she?”
He clutched his fist tightly, signed me that he would break my face. He shook his head in dismay and anger. He was caught in the web of queries.
---“I found a small gift box in the cupboard. It contained a gold pendant. It is gone.”
The venom spewed at last from the lips of my husband---“You crossed your limit, Suchi. I warned you that we shall not cross our paths.”
I could not keep my thoughts inside me anymore. I howled at him---“You could have told me once, Himadri. I would have gone from your life. Why you had to keep me in dark?”
He chewed his words---“Why, are you not satisfied? Do you think I am blind? I do not have eyes. I do have a heart and soul. What have you given me, Suchi?”
He clutched me by my shoulders and shook me violently---“Tell me, what you have given to me?”
My whole body shook like a life-less trunk of a tree. My eyes were closed and tears were rolling down my cheeks.
He screamed at me---“I know who told you all these, that son-of-a-bitch, Nilu.”
His next sentence shattered my heart and soul, a grave implication that I had not dreamt off in my nightmares also.
---“You do have your desires satiated. Do not think I am a fool. I know very well that what you and Nilu do.”
I pressed my ears with both my hands. Each single blood vessels in my body, was bursting off. There was splash of electric pulses in front of my eyes. All I could see, a black screen and specks of lights in my head.
I shrieked in sheer angst and pain---“NO, MIND WHAT YOUR ARE SAYING.”
He went to the door and locked it from inside and then with long steps stride towards me. I was shaking in fear and rage. Niladri was outside probably, I did not know, as there was no response from his side.
Himadri stood in front of me, breathing fire on my face---“Don’t think I am blind. I know everything, what you two were doing behind my back. I have information that you two dine at Kaveri, shop in Bank More, movies in Ray or Pooja talkies and many more ….”
I kept my eyes tightly shut, the veins on the side of my head was about to rupture.
I screamed at him with all my strength---“What are you saying? He is like my brother.”
He started abusing me in all his foul language. Harsh and cruel.
I clenched my teeth and shouted at him---“I don’t want to stay with you under one roof even for a single moment.”
---“Sure, why would you? You have what you wanted. (Foul)”
All of a sudden, he slapped me hard on my face. I fell on the bed on my stomach. It was not the pain of slap that was incinerating my heart and soul, it was his foul words and his beastly accuse that made me insane. I clutched the bed-sheet with both hands and hid my face on the pillow.
Himadri pounced over my back and pinned me down on the bed. With his arms he pressed my nape on the pillow. I felt his other hand, fumbling my dress. Within seconds he tore apart the fabric from my body. Huge strike of chill ran down my spine, I tried to scream in but my mouth was covered with pillow.
He hissed in my ears---“You can warm up others quilt then why not mine, you … I will not kill you, I make you demoralize in your heart and kill your soul.”
I thumped my head on the pillow and tried hard to push him off my back, but he was stronger than I in every sense was.
I was whimpering in pain only low cries came out of my dried lips. My face was red, all my nape and chest was heaving, my heart thumped inside my chest like a huge piston of old steam engine.
His cruelty was at its pinnacle. He invaded my sanctum-sanatorium with no mercy. It was like a saw cutting through sandpaper. I kept on crying and crying. He mauled me like hungry hyena. It was eighteenth day after my LMP. I was fertile like Gangetic plain. The seed was sown. I conceived my angel. It came with sheer brutality and malice.
He left the room, after mauling my soul and body. I lay there on the bed, disheveled and helpless, cried in pain and anger. Nothing except hatred engulfed my soul. Even in my worst nightmare, I never thought that my precious angel would come in this world in that manner.
Book 2: Blistered Feet. Chapter 8: Conceive of Angel
During the dinner, I could not swallow my food, Niladri was all-silent. The silence was killing me.
It was late night as usual. I was in my nightdress. The doorbell rang. It was Himadri. I gave a blank look at his face and came in my room. Niladri was sitting in the drawing room, watching TV.
He entered after me and asked---“How was your journey?”
I nodded my head “Ok.”
His voice was very cold, probably the hatred in my heart made his voice sounded like ice.
He came near me; I sensed his breaths on my nape. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand on my shoulder---“I missed you.”
I bit my lips as those words poured down molten lava on my face. Series of waves culminated on the shore of my chest. To support myself I held the chair. My shoulder was burning where he kept his palm. I could not bear his touch on my shoulder.
Gently I removed his hand from my shoulder and said to him---“Why are you so late?”
He lied; he lied in cold blood---“It was office, Suchi.”
I gave a piercing look at his face. He looked away, avoiding the direct eye contact. “Has he understood that he was caught? Nevertheless, his voice was very normal and cold as usual. How should I start confronting him? How to start?”
I fixated my gaze on his face to fathom his expressions---“I expected you, Himadri, to bring me back. However, you were not there. Why?”
He did not look at my face and answered---“It was my work, Suchi. You know very well as how busy, I am.” He gave a queer look at my face “I have drowned myself in my work, Suchi, same as you.”
“Lie and deceit, Himadri. Just spew out venom, Himadri that you do not want me anymore. I will be more than happy. It was my fault, from the very beginning that I did not wait for the person I loved most. I tried hard to gather myself but I failed. You could have told me, why you kept me in dark, Himadri. Why?” No I did not spoke those to him; instead, I stood as a granite effigy, covered with his chicane words.
My face was burning while whose words were beating my eardrums. My gaze was spewing molten blood instead of tears. I spoke in an ice-cold voice---“Who is Shalini, Himadri?”
All of a sudden, a huge stream of blood gushed on his face. He gave a bewildered look at me. He was not at all prepared for that question, I knew that very well. I was also not prepared for that question to ask him all of a sudden. What made me ask that, I did not know?
He screamed at me---“Who?”
A cold voice came again out of my lips---“Shalini, your college friend.”
---“Who told you?”
---“It is not the question, Himadri, who informed me. Who is she?”
He clutched his fist tightly, signed me that he would break my face. He shook his head in dismay and anger. He was caught in the web of queries.
---“I found a small gift box in the cupboard. It contained a gold pendant. It is gone.”
The venom spewed at last from the lips of my husband---“You crossed your limit, Suchi. I warned you that we shall not cross our paths.”
I could not keep my thoughts inside me anymore. I howled at him---“You could have told me once, Himadri. I would have gone from your life. Why you had to keep me in dark?”
He chewed his words---“Why, are you not satisfied? Do you think I am blind? I do not have eyes. I do have a heart and soul. What have you given me, Suchi?”
He clutched me by my shoulders and shook me violently---“Tell me, what you have given to me?”
My whole body shook like a life-less trunk of a tree. My eyes were closed and tears were rolling down my cheeks.
He screamed at me---“I know who told you all these, that son-of-a-bitch, Nilu.”
His next sentence shattered my heart and soul, a grave implication that I had not dreamt off in my nightmares also.
---“You do have your desires satiated. Do not think I am a fool. I know very well that what you and Nilu do.”
I pressed my ears with both my hands. Each single blood vessels in my body, was bursting off. There was splash of electric pulses in front of my eyes. All I could see, a black screen and specks of lights in my head.
I shrieked in sheer angst and pain---“NO, MIND WHAT YOUR ARE SAYING.”
He went to the door and locked it from inside and then with long steps stride towards me. I was shaking in fear and rage. Niladri was outside probably, I did not know, as there was no response from his side.
Himadri stood in front of me, breathing fire on my face---“Don’t think I am blind. I know everything, what you two were doing behind my back. I have information that you two dine at Kaveri, shop in Bank More, movies in Ray or Pooja talkies and many more ….”
I kept my eyes tightly shut, the veins on the side of my head was about to rupture.
I screamed at him with all my strength---“What are you saying? He is like my brother.”
He started abusing me in all his foul language. Harsh and cruel.
I clenched my teeth and shouted at him---“I don’t want to stay with you under one roof even for a single moment.”
---“Sure, why would you? You have what you wanted. (Foul)”
All of a sudden, he slapped me hard on my face. I fell on the bed on my stomach. It was not the pain of slap that was incinerating my heart and soul, it was his foul words and his beastly accuse that made me insane. I clutched the bed-sheet with both hands and hid my face on the pillow.
Himadri pounced over my back and pinned me down on the bed. With his arms he pressed my nape on the pillow. I felt his other hand, fumbling my dress. Within seconds he tore apart the fabric from my body. Huge strike of chill ran down my spine, I tried to scream in but my mouth was covered with pillow.
He hissed in my ears---“You can warm up others quilt then why not mine, you … I will not kill you, I make you demoralize in your heart and kill your soul.”
I thumped my head on the pillow and tried hard to push him off my back, but he was stronger than I in every sense was.
I was whimpering in pain only low cries came out of my dried lips. My face was red, all my nape and chest was heaving, my heart thumped inside my chest like a huge piston of old steam engine.
His cruelty was at its pinnacle. He invaded my sanctum-sanatorium with no mercy. It was like a saw cutting through sandpaper. I kept on crying and crying. He mauled me like hungry hyena. It was eighteenth day after my LMP. I was fertile like Gangetic plain. The seed was sown. I conceived my angel. It came with sheer brutality and malice.
He left the room, after mauling my soul and body. I lay there on the bed, disheveled and helpless, cried in pain and anger. Nothing except hatred engulfed my soul. Even in my worst nightmare, I never thought that my precious angel would come in this world in that manner.