Chapter 18: Sapling re-sown.


Aunt and I never left her side. Her parents had a hard time to call off the wedding. Nilanjana ma’am and dad assured them that they would together handle the situation. I cared not to get involved in that matter. For me the main concern was Titli’s wellbeing.

There was huge opposition from her parents on my decision. Dad gave me an option that he would take Titli to Dhanbad. He told me that I would not be able to take proper care of her. I assured dad that I would not let her slip into oblivion again. I was adamant on my stand and told them I don’t care as what the society or the people would talk about.

Nilanjana ma’am came to my rescue. She dictated to everyone, “Titli has bridged the gap of twelve years between a father and son and brought them together. I will bring the heaven and hell together to bring her back.” She turned towards me and said, “Give me the word that you will bring happiness in her eyes.”

I looked at her and said, “I have lost her once and I don’t have enough courage left to lose her again.”

She said to me, “One condition she can stay with you. You two have a registry marriage.”

“No.” I answered her, “I don’t want to impose anything on her barren heart right now. Titli has to be in a position to give her consent. Currently she is not in a position to give that. I will wait until she is ready. I will re-sow the seeds again and wait for the sapling to grow, even if that takes a life time for us.”
Aunt shook her head and sobbed at me, “Promise me that you will take care of her.”

I gave a painful smile, “Ask for my soul, I can give that. But not Titli, not this time.”

After ten days, Titli was able to stand up on her feet. Her uncle prescribed some medicines and told me to keep in touch with him. He referred a speech therapist and a psychiatrist. I gave a pale smile in return.

Titli became very pale and skinny. She looked like a skeleton draped in a pale skin. Her collarbones and cheekbones were visible. The moonshine from her face was gone. Her eyes were filled up with void queries. She hankered for answers that were haunting her. She was unable to speak but her beautiful big eyes expressed what she wants. She was trying to cope with the relations dictated to her. I saw distrust in her eyes that she was feeling uneasy. I knew that it would be an uphill task to bring back her lost composure.

I requested Nilanjana ma’am and Dad to return to Dhanbad. Ma’am requested me to keep the car. I obliged her request. She repeatedly reminded me that I should call her every day to inform her about Titli’s health and improvement. I nodded my head to assure that I would abide her every word.

Parting was quiet tearful. Nilanjana Ma’am kissed Titli’s forehead and bid her goodbye. She gently nodded her head.

Before returning Bappa asked me, “Hey Buddhubabu, why Titli auntie is so gloom? Is she angry upon you?”

I smiled at her and said, “No dear, she is not well now. She will definitely speak to you.”

He shook his head and gave me a naughty smile, “I know. She is angry with you. Tickle on her belly, she will burst out in laughter and she will talk to you again.”

I asked him, “Who told you that?”

He looked at his mother and said in a puerile voice, “When Mama gets angry then she does not speak with Dada. Then Dada hugs her and tickles her on her belly. She bursts in laughter and they mends up.”

I could not control my laughter. After a long time I was able to breathe fresh air in my lungs. His innocent suggestion brought smile to everyone’s face. I looked at Nilanjana ma’am. She was trying to hide her coy face by looking at dad.

I looked at Nilanjana ma’am, “So, this is the secret as how you rule your kingdom?”

While returning she sat cowered in one corner of the seat. Looking curiously all around her as what was happening with her. Every time I tried to touch her, she gave me a curious look and moved away.

“Come inside.” I ushered Titli in my flat. “This is where you would live.”

After entering, she looked all around my small flat. She touched the couch and the curtains. She walked around the room like a breeze. I watched her actions quietly.

Aunt asked me, “I am very much concerned about her. What will happen, Budhaditya?”

I nodded and assured her that everything will be fine. I asked aunt to take her to the bedroom and lay her down on the bed. She quietly lay on the bed and closed her eyes. Aunt sat beside her and soothed her head for a long time. She was shaking by her mother’s touch. She was unable to cope with the new environment around her.

Aunt looked around the house and asked me, “How will she live here?”

I asked her in return, “What’s the harm? If I can live she also can.”

She mumbled, “No, I mean her room is much bigger than this.”

I sat beside the bed and took her hand in mine, “I know that Auntie.” Time has come to divulge the truth. I looked at sleeping Titli and said to Aunt, “You see these curtains, the wall hangings, the couch covers and everything. Those all were bought by Titli.” Aunt was awestruck to hear as what I was saying. I continued, “She graced every nook and corner of these dingy rooms to make a perfect abode fit for a queen. Titli’s soul was stuck here, in these two rooms. Only her body slept at your house.”

Aunt looked at Titli and then at me. She asked me, “Are you telling the truth? When she did all these? I don’t believe you. I am her mother. I thought that I knew her well. She never took any interest in household things.”

I smiled at her and nodded “Yes she did. Now you know the reason.”

Her eyes were glistening. She gently ruffled Titli’s head, “I felt some changes in Titli, but never did I imagine that she could be like this.” She gave me a soft smile, “Only you can change my Titli.”

I looked at her snivelled eyes and said, “I don’t know auntie. You have hope and I have faith. We need to keep those with us.”

All of a sudden, Titli shivered and woke up. She looked at us with thousands queries in her big eyes. Aunt held her across her chest and tried to soothe her to sleep. I gently nodded at aunt and came out o the room.

The walls and the curtains were crying, asking me as what happened to the queen of the roost. I did not have the answer. I sat quietly on the couch and blankly looked out of the window. The sky was dark and overcast with rain clouds. I lied on the couch and closed my eyes.

A soft groaning sound woke me up. The morning twilight was peeping on the east. I tried to figure out as from where the sobbing sound was coming. After some time I realised that, the sound was coming from the bathroom. I walked to the bathroom and was astound to find Titli there. She sat cowered at one corner of the bathroom. Her eyes were red and stream of tears rolling down her cheeks. I knelt in front of her. She looked at me and tried to say me something.

I felt like crying to see her in that condition. I asked her, “You are not able to sleep?”

She shook her head, “No.”

I held her in my arms. She became stiff in my embrace. Gently she brushed her head on my chest.

I asked her, “You are frightened?”

She nodded her head, “Yes.”

I pulled her on my lap and walked into the drawing room. I let her sit on the couch and knelt in front of her. I took her hands in mine and asked her, “You don’t remember these couch covers, do you? You remember nothing.”

She shook her head, “No.” She gestured at me, “Who are you?”

That query made me cry but I controlled myself. I looked deeply in her curious eyes and answered, “I am your Adi, Titli. Your husband.” I lied. A lie perhaps could bring some change, a lie for a better cause.

She gave me a curious look and gestured that why I did not divulged that to her previously.

I smiled and said to her, “Even if I said that, would that matter? You do not even remember your name dear. How could you remember me?”

She clenched her fist and tried to bang her head. I held her hands tightly to restrain her from doing so. Tears from her big black eyes were flowing continuously. I took her face between my palms and wiped her tears. She felt little relieved with my compassionate touch on her cheek.

I said to her, “It will take some time for you to respond to your name, Titli.”

She gave me a painful smile and nodded her head, “Yes.”

She gestured me that whether she could lie down on the sofa. I asked her why she do not go into the room and sleep on the bed. She said that she was feeling uncomfortable there. I smiled and nodded at her. She lied down on the sofa and looked at me. I covered her with a bed sheet. She held the bed sheet close to her chest and closed her eyes. Gently I rubbed her forehead, passing the warmth of mine to her cold shivering face. I watched her closely as she tried to sleep.

I looked up and found that Aunt was watching us.

She gave me a blissful smile and said, “I think I can leave her here now.”

I stood up from Titli’s side and said to her, “She is everything to me. I lost my mom when I was very young, then I lost my grandma which was not in my hand. I lost her once and I don’t have much strength left to lose her again.”
She ruffled my hair and said, “I think it will not be raining today. Like some tea?”

I smiled back at her, “Sure. You still owe me the sukto, remember.”

She laughed at me and patted my unshaven cheek, “You are really crazy…. Go and brush. Take a bath and don’t forget to shave. From last ten days, neither you have slept properly nor taken anything.”

I laughed at her, “You also have not left her side Auntie. Don’t worry I will sleep now. I have to join office so I am concerned as how to keep her alone.”

She said to me, “Why are you worrying so much? I will send my maid in the morning and I will be here until you return from office.