Papa muje hamesha kaha karte the ki mohabbat ensan ko ya tu kamzor banati hai ya fir taqat-var, lekin main aaj tak nahi samajh payi ke meri mohabbat ne muje kamzor banaya ya taqat-var. Mere Papa, Rajveer Uncle ko apna dost kam aur bhai zyada mante the, main apne mata pita ke eklauti aulaad thi aur Rajveer Uncle ka bhi ek hi beta tha Rahul. Dono parivaron ko rishte ke bandhan main bandhne ke liye isase acha bahana shayad bhagwan nahi de sakta tha, aur hum jis class se talluk rakhate the wahan pe to khushi manane ka bahana hi chahye hota hai, paise bhale he na ho laiken dil buhut bade hote hain. Rahul ka naam hamesha se he apne naam ke sath sun kar mera usase toot kar mohabbat karna koi hairangi ki baat na thi, aur woh bhi mujse mohabbat karta tha bas woh izhar ke mamle main thoda kanjoos tha
Maine tu buhut ro dho kar B.A hi kiya laiken Rahul padhayi me hamesha se buhut acha tha uska sapna tha khud ko kisi achi post pe daikhne ka, apni padhai ka kharcha uthane ke lye woh tutions bhi padhata tha aur akhir kaar uski mehnat rang layi, MBA karne ke baad use Mumbai me ek achchhi company me job mil gayi aur woh Delhi chhod kar Mumbai chala gaya, aur agle 1 saal main uski 2 baar tarakki bhi ho gayi, Rahul zaheen hone ke sath-sath apani jaga banana bhi buhut achchhi tarah se janta tha, use bolane ka hunar aata tha. Kuch he samay baad sab ne humari shadi ka shor macha dya kyun ke Rahul ab achi tarah se settle ho chuka tha aur fir humari shadi ke taiyaariyaan shuru ho gayi lekin shadi se kuch he din pahle Rahul ne ek aisa raaz khola jis ne sab kuch bikher ke rakh diya lekin mere wajood ke shayad etne tudke kar dye ke unko samaitna bhi sambhav nahi tha. Rahul apni hi company ke malik ki beti se shadi kar chuka tha, is baat ke pata chalte he sabane use buhut bura bhala kaha lekin mere paas shayad kuch kahne ke lye nahi tha, shayad jab sab kuch bahut acha ho raha ho tu kahin na kahin woh ishara hota hai kuch buhut bura hone ka, Rahul ne jate samay muje jo kaha woh lafz aj bhi mere dimagh ke kisi kone main waise he taza hain
"Main janta hon maine tumhare sath theek nahi kya laiken main sharminda nahi hon kyun ke muje nahi lagta maine kuch galat kya hai, main agar tumhare sath shadi kar leta tu woh hum dono ki zindagi barbad kar deta, sab ko lagta hai ke maine paise ke lye shadi ki, main manta hon ke mera sapna tha ek ameer admi banane ka laiken maine usase shadi kisi paise ke lalach main nahi ki muje usase mohabbat ho gayi, kab kaise kis tarah ye main nahi janta laiken muje uske ba-gair zindagi ke bare main sochna bhi takleef daine laga tha, main janta hon aj tumhain ye sab galat lag raha hoga laiken apni mohabbat ko maar kar tumse shadi kar lena es se bhi zyada galat hota aur main tumhare sath koi zyadati nahi karna chahta tha, muje umeed hai tumhain aik acha jeevan sathi mile ga jo tumhain sachchi khushi dega"
Muje ye to pata tha ke Rahul kafi unche khaab rakhta hai laiken unki unchai mere wajood se bhi badi hogi eska andaza nahi tha, tab muje pahli bar ehsas huwa ke sans laine aur jeenay main kya fark hai, muje lagta tha meri bas sans he chal rahe hai jo muje batati hai ke main zinda hon laiken uske siva sab kuch tham chuka tha meri zindagi main. Aur tab aik bat mere samne saaf ho gaye thi ke zindagi ko jeenay ke lye koi na koi sahara zaroori hota hai, mohabbat ka na sahe to nafrat ka he sahe..
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Javed Ali ko Dubai aye huwe 22 sal ho chuke the, laiken en 22 salon main apni zaat ke lye use 22 minute bhi nahi mile the, jab woh Dubai aaya tha tu uske uper apne se chote 3 bhai aur 3 behnon ki zimaydari thi jo uske pita ke marne ke bad us pe aa gayi thi, tab uske uper bas paisa kamane aur apne parivar ke lye kuch karne ka bhoot savar tha. Dubai main guzre pahle chand sal uski zindagi ke sab se mushkil sal the laiken har bar jab paise bhaijne ke bad uski apni maan se baat hoti tu unki khushi daikh kar jaise uske sari thakan utar jati, laiken dheeray dheeray use ehsas huwa ke ab woh ghar walon ke lye aik bhai ya beta hone ke bajaye aik bank ban gaya hai jo har mahine acha khasa paisa unhe bhejata hai. Dubai main guzare pahle 8,10 sal woh paise ke peechay bhagta raha fir paisa uske peechay bhagne laga, woh jo bhi business karta us main kamyabi uske samne bandi bane khadi ho jati. En salon main uski zahri halat jitne bhi badal gayi ho laiken ander se woh aj bhi waisa he tha, uska dil abhi bhi Lucknow ki choti galiyon me basta tha. Behan bhai apni-apni zindagi main masroof ho gaye the sab ki shadiyan hone ke bad uski maan bhi uske pas Dubai aa gayi tu use laga shayad ab use kuch sakoon mile ga maan ke sath rahne ka magar aisa ho na saka. guzre salon main maa-bete ke rishte ke beech bhi shayad paisa aa gaya tha ya fir paisa aane ke baad rishte aise he badal jate the, woh he ye samajh nahi paya tha.
Mohabbat karne ke lye uske pas kabhi samay na tha, uski tu sari mohabbat apne parivar ke lye thi laiken ab woh ye sochta tha ke shayad es sab ke beech us ne apni zindagi ke haseen pal kahin kho dye aur ab umer ke es hisay main jab woh 42 sal ka ho chuka tha mohabbat ke bare main sochna kuch ajeeb sa lagta tha laiken es baat se anjan tha ke mohabbat umer ke qaidi nahi hoti, woh tu jab honi hoti hai, ho kar he rahti hai ...
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"Tu apko lagta hai ke nafrat ka sahara laina apki kamzori thi?" ... Javed ne us se poocha
Javed aur Ishika ki mulaqat aik fashion show main huwe thi aur us se milne ke bad Javed ne use apni aik company ke lye modeling karne ki offer kar di aur woh kuch samay ke lye Dubai aa gayi, aur es sab ke beech woh dono aik dusre ke kafi qareeb aa gaye, dono ko apne dukh sunane ke lye koi kandha chahye tha aur shayad unka akela-pan he unhain kareeb lay aya
"Mohabbat meri taqat na ban saki tu maine use apni kamzori bana lya, kya mila muje sab kar ke?. Muje bas Rahul se badla laina tha aur fir se paa lena tha uske liye muje us jaga tak phunchna tha jahan pe main us se sab kuch cheen sakon laiken us unchai tak phunchane ke lye muje kis patal main girna pada ye main he janti hon. Apko kya lagta hai aik kamyab model ban jana kya etna asan hai, es unchai ke har seedhi chadhne ke lye muje kya kya nahi karna pada aur sirf aik kamyab model banana tu mera maqsad nahi tha muje tu Rahul se woh sab kuch cheen lena tha jo uske pas tha aur uske lye muje aik aise insaan ka sahara chahiye tha jisake pas taqat ho woh sab kuch karne ki jo main hasil karna chahti thi"
"Tu us se sab kuch cheen laine ke ehsaas ne bhi apko sakoon nahi dya?"
"Sakoon tu meri zindagi main uske jane ke bad kabhi aya he nahi, aur cheen laine ki khushi tab hoti hai jab samne wale ki ankhon main kho daine ka dukh nazar aye"
"Tu kya use apna sab kuch kho jane ka dukh nahi tha?"
"Nahi, aur jo us ne muje kaha woh meri zindagi main rahe sahe sakoon ko bhi barbad kar gaya"
"Kya?"
"Muje lagta tha ke main use itna bebas kar dungi ke wo mere pas wapas aa jayega laiken woh aik bar fir se mere muh pe chanta mar ke chala gaya, muje ye kah kar woh apni patni se jitni mohabbat karta hai uske samne uska business kuch nahi hai, woh sab kuch dobara bana lega laiken main jis ghalazat main gir chuki hon wahan woh kabhi wapas nahi aye ga"... Ab ki baar Javed chup raha, Ishika ki baat ka uske pas koi jawab na tha
"Tab muje ehsas huwa ke woh sab kuch karne se mujhe kya mila, mere maan baap ne mere kaam ko daikh kar mujse nata tod lya aur esi ghum main mar gaye, Papa ne muje buhut samjhane ki koshish ki laiken tab mere dimagh me bas Rahul ko dobara pa laine ka janoon savar tha, log aj mere samne meri izat karte hain laiken main janti hon mere pechay muje SLUT kah kar bulate hain, aur jisko pane ke lye maine ye sab kuch kya woh tu apni duniya main khush tha, pahli baar us ne muje chhoda to sirf dard tha, dusri bar chhoda to dard ke sath badnami bhi mere hisse main aa gayi"
"Ap ne kuch zyada hi sakht lafz istamal kar lye apne lye, modeling karna koi etni buri baat bhi nahi hai"
"Ap ya tu masoom hain ya fir banane ki koshish kar rahe hain?"
"Main samjha nahi?"
"Apko kya lagta hai Rahul ke business ko barbad karna sirf model ban ke ho sakta tha?, kayi business-men aur politicians ke sath din aur raatain guzarni padi muje, tab ja ke woh sab kar payi thi main"
Ishika ki baat sun kar Javed ko us se ghin nahi aayi balke uske liye abhi bhi naram jazbat the uske dil main, use woh apni tarhan akeli lagi, jo ab ladte ladte thak chuki thi, kisi sahare ki talash main thi. Mohabbat ke talab tu dono ko thi bas dono ki talab main fark tha aur shayad mohabbat ko ab dono per he reham aa gaya tha ...
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"Main tumse shadi karna chahta hon" ... Unko milte lag bhag 1 saal hone wala tha jab akhir kaar Javed ne use apne dil ki baat kar di
"Tumhara dimagh kharab ho gaya hai kya?"... Ishika ne hairangi se kaha
"Kyun shadi pagal karte hain kya?"
"Mujse shadi to koi pagal he kare ga aur khas kar tumhare jaisa ensan, tum ne aik saf suthri zindagi guzari hai Javed, ab tak tum mohabbat ko tarse ho aur ab tum mujse shadi kar ke apni izat aur zindagi dono ko barbad karna chahte ho kya?"
"Aj tak maine dusron ke bare main he socha hai, ab zindagi main pahli bar main apne lye sochna chahta hon, aur mera dil muje kahta hai ke main tumhare sath he khush rah sakta hon"
"Tum jante ho log mere bare main kya kya kahte hain fir bhi, tumhare ghar wale kabhi nahi manan ge aur waise bhi tumse shadi karne ke lye lakhon ladkiyan razi ho jayen ge, main manti hon ke main tumhain pasand karne lagi hon laiken main ab fir se mohabbat ko apni kamzori nahi banane don ge"
"Log kya kahte hain muje uske fiker nahi hai, log tu hamesha he kuch na kuch kahte rahte hain, kab tak bolan ge? 1 mahina ya fir 1 sal aur such pocho to saari zindagi bhi bolte raho to muje fark nahi padta aur main apne ghar walon ka mohtaj nahi hon, woh apni zindagi apni marzi se jee rahe hain tu muje bhi haq hai apni zindagi apni mohabbat ke sath guzarne ka"
"Laiken Javed..."
"Koi laiken nahi, maine tumse tumhara jawab manga tha, ye nahi poocha tha ke log kya kahan ge, tum muje pasand karti ho mere liye ye zyada zaroori hai log jo bhi sochte hain unhan sochne do".
Maine tu buhut ro dho kar B.A hi kiya laiken Rahul padhayi me hamesha se buhut acha tha uska sapna tha khud ko kisi achi post pe daikhne ka, apni padhai ka kharcha uthane ke lye woh tutions bhi padhata tha aur akhir kaar uski mehnat rang layi, MBA karne ke baad use Mumbai me ek achchhi company me job mil gayi aur woh Delhi chhod kar Mumbai chala gaya, aur agle 1 saal main uski 2 baar tarakki bhi ho gayi, Rahul zaheen hone ke sath-sath apani jaga banana bhi buhut achchhi tarah se janta tha, use bolane ka hunar aata tha. Kuch he samay baad sab ne humari shadi ka shor macha dya kyun ke Rahul ab achi tarah se settle ho chuka tha aur fir humari shadi ke taiyaariyaan shuru ho gayi lekin shadi se kuch he din pahle Rahul ne ek aisa raaz khola jis ne sab kuch bikher ke rakh diya lekin mere wajood ke shayad etne tudke kar dye ke unko samaitna bhi sambhav nahi tha. Rahul apni hi company ke malik ki beti se shadi kar chuka tha, is baat ke pata chalte he sabane use buhut bura bhala kaha lekin mere paas shayad kuch kahne ke lye nahi tha, shayad jab sab kuch bahut acha ho raha ho tu kahin na kahin woh ishara hota hai kuch buhut bura hone ka, Rahul ne jate samay muje jo kaha woh lafz aj bhi mere dimagh ke kisi kone main waise he taza hain
"Main janta hon maine tumhare sath theek nahi kya laiken main sharminda nahi hon kyun ke muje nahi lagta maine kuch galat kya hai, main agar tumhare sath shadi kar leta tu woh hum dono ki zindagi barbad kar deta, sab ko lagta hai ke maine paise ke lye shadi ki, main manta hon ke mera sapna tha ek ameer admi banane ka laiken maine usase shadi kisi paise ke lalach main nahi ki muje usase mohabbat ho gayi, kab kaise kis tarah ye main nahi janta laiken muje uske ba-gair zindagi ke bare main sochna bhi takleef daine laga tha, main janta hon aj tumhain ye sab galat lag raha hoga laiken apni mohabbat ko maar kar tumse shadi kar lena es se bhi zyada galat hota aur main tumhare sath koi zyadati nahi karna chahta tha, muje umeed hai tumhain aik acha jeevan sathi mile ga jo tumhain sachchi khushi dega"
Muje ye to pata tha ke Rahul kafi unche khaab rakhta hai laiken unki unchai mere wajood se bhi badi hogi eska andaza nahi tha, tab muje pahli bar ehsas huwa ke sans laine aur jeenay main kya fark hai, muje lagta tha meri bas sans he chal rahe hai jo muje batati hai ke main zinda hon laiken uske siva sab kuch tham chuka tha meri zindagi main. Aur tab aik bat mere samne saaf ho gaye thi ke zindagi ko jeenay ke lye koi na koi sahara zaroori hota hai, mohabbat ka na sahe to nafrat ka he sahe..
***************************************
Javed Ali ko Dubai aye huwe 22 sal ho chuke the, laiken en 22 salon main apni zaat ke lye use 22 minute bhi nahi mile the, jab woh Dubai aaya tha tu uske uper apne se chote 3 bhai aur 3 behnon ki zimaydari thi jo uske pita ke marne ke bad us pe aa gayi thi, tab uske uper bas paisa kamane aur apne parivar ke lye kuch karne ka bhoot savar tha. Dubai main guzre pahle chand sal uski zindagi ke sab se mushkil sal the laiken har bar jab paise bhaijne ke bad uski apni maan se baat hoti tu unki khushi daikh kar jaise uske sari thakan utar jati, laiken dheeray dheeray use ehsas huwa ke ab woh ghar walon ke lye aik bhai ya beta hone ke bajaye aik bank ban gaya hai jo har mahine acha khasa paisa unhe bhejata hai. Dubai main guzare pahle 8,10 sal woh paise ke peechay bhagta raha fir paisa uske peechay bhagne laga, woh jo bhi business karta us main kamyabi uske samne bandi bane khadi ho jati. En salon main uski zahri halat jitne bhi badal gayi ho laiken ander se woh aj bhi waisa he tha, uska dil abhi bhi Lucknow ki choti galiyon me basta tha. Behan bhai apni-apni zindagi main masroof ho gaye the sab ki shadiyan hone ke bad uski maan bhi uske pas Dubai aa gayi tu use laga shayad ab use kuch sakoon mile ga maan ke sath rahne ka magar aisa ho na saka. guzre salon main maa-bete ke rishte ke beech bhi shayad paisa aa gaya tha ya fir paisa aane ke baad rishte aise he badal jate the, woh he ye samajh nahi paya tha.
Mohabbat karne ke lye uske pas kabhi samay na tha, uski tu sari mohabbat apne parivar ke lye thi laiken ab woh ye sochta tha ke shayad es sab ke beech us ne apni zindagi ke haseen pal kahin kho dye aur ab umer ke es hisay main jab woh 42 sal ka ho chuka tha mohabbat ke bare main sochna kuch ajeeb sa lagta tha laiken es baat se anjan tha ke mohabbat umer ke qaidi nahi hoti, woh tu jab honi hoti hai, ho kar he rahti hai ...
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"Tu apko lagta hai ke nafrat ka sahara laina apki kamzori thi?" ... Javed ne us se poocha
Javed aur Ishika ki mulaqat aik fashion show main huwe thi aur us se milne ke bad Javed ne use apni aik company ke lye modeling karne ki offer kar di aur woh kuch samay ke lye Dubai aa gayi, aur es sab ke beech woh dono aik dusre ke kafi qareeb aa gaye, dono ko apne dukh sunane ke lye koi kandha chahye tha aur shayad unka akela-pan he unhain kareeb lay aya
"Mohabbat meri taqat na ban saki tu maine use apni kamzori bana lya, kya mila muje sab kar ke?. Muje bas Rahul se badla laina tha aur fir se paa lena tha uske liye muje us jaga tak phunchna tha jahan pe main us se sab kuch cheen sakon laiken us unchai tak phunchane ke lye muje kis patal main girna pada ye main he janti hon. Apko kya lagta hai aik kamyab model ban jana kya etna asan hai, es unchai ke har seedhi chadhne ke lye muje kya kya nahi karna pada aur sirf aik kamyab model banana tu mera maqsad nahi tha muje tu Rahul se woh sab kuch cheen lena tha jo uske pas tha aur uske lye muje aik aise insaan ka sahara chahiye tha jisake pas taqat ho woh sab kuch karne ki jo main hasil karna chahti thi"
"Tu us se sab kuch cheen laine ke ehsaas ne bhi apko sakoon nahi dya?"
"Sakoon tu meri zindagi main uske jane ke bad kabhi aya he nahi, aur cheen laine ki khushi tab hoti hai jab samne wale ki ankhon main kho daine ka dukh nazar aye"
"Tu kya use apna sab kuch kho jane ka dukh nahi tha?"
"Nahi, aur jo us ne muje kaha woh meri zindagi main rahe sahe sakoon ko bhi barbad kar gaya"
"Kya?"
"Muje lagta tha ke main use itna bebas kar dungi ke wo mere pas wapas aa jayega laiken woh aik bar fir se mere muh pe chanta mar ke chala gaya, muje ye kah kar woh apni patni se jitni mohabbat karta hai uske samne uska business kuch nahi hai, woh sab kuch dobara bana lega laiken main jis ghalazat main gir chuki hon wahan woh kabhi wapas nahi aye ga"... Ab ki baar Javed chup raha, Ishika ki baat ka uske pas koi jawab na tha
"Tab muje ehsas huwa ke woh sab kuch karne se mujhe kya mila, mere maan baap ne mere kaam ko daikh kar mujse nata tod lya aur esi ghum main mar gaye, Papa ne muje buhut samjhane ki koshish ki laiken tab mere dimagh me bas Rahul ko dobara pa laine ka janoon savar tha, log aj mere samne meri izat karte hain laiken main janti hon mere pechay muje SLUT kah kar bulate hain, aur jisko pane ke lye maine ye sab kuch kya woh tu apni duniya main khush tha, pahli baar us ne muje chhoda to sirf dard tha, dusri bar chhoda to dard ke sath badnami bhi mere hisse main aa gayi"
"Ap ne kuch zyada hi sakht lafz istamal kar lye apne lye, modeling karna koi etni buri baat bhi nahi hai"
"Ap ya tu masoom hain ya fir banane ki koshish kar rahe hain?"
"Main samjha nahi?"
"Apko kya lagta hai Rahul ke business ko barbad karna sirf model ban ke ho sakta tha?, kayi business-men aur politicians ke sath din aur raatain guzarni padi muje, tab ja ke woh sab kar payi thi main"
Ishika ki baat sun kar Javed ko us se ghin nahi aayi balke uske liye abhi bhi naram jazbat the uske dil main, use woh apni tarhan akeli lagi, jo ab ladte ladte thak chuki thi, kisi sahare ki talash main thi. Mohabbat ke talab tu dono ko thi bas dono ki talab main fark tha aur shayad mohabbat ko ab dono per he reham aa gaya tha ...
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"Main tumse shadi karna chahta hon" ... Unko milte lag bhag 1 saal hone wala tha jab akhir kaar Javed ne use apne dil ki baat kar di
"Tumhara dimagh kharab ho gaya hai kya?"... Ishika ne hairangi se kaha
"Kyun shadi pagal karte hain kya?"
"Mujse shadi to koi pagal he kare ga aur khas kar tumhare jaisa ensan, tum ne aik saf suthri zindagi guzari hai Javed, ab tak tum mohabbat ko tarse ho aur ab tum mujse shadi kar ke apni izat aur zindagi dono ko barbad karna chahte ho kya?"
"Aj tak maine dusron ke bare main he socha hai, ab zindagi main pahli bar main apne lye sochna chahta hon, aur mera dil muje kahta hai ke main tumhare sath he khush rah sakta hon"
"Tum jante ho log mere bare main kya kya kahte hain fir bhi, tumhare ghar wale kabhi nahi manan ge aur waise bhi tumse shadi karne ke lye lakhon ladkiyan razi ho jayen ge, main manti hon ke main tumhain pasand karne lagi hon laiken main ab fir se mohabbat ko apni kamzori nahi banane don ge"
"Log kya kahte hain muje uske fiker nahi hai, log tu hamesha he kuch na kuch kahte rahte hain, kab tak bolan ge? 1 mahina ya fir 1 sal aur such pocho to saari zindagi bhi bolte raho to muje fark nahi padta aur main apne ghar walon ka mohtaj nahi hon, woh apni zindagi apni marzi se jee rahe hain tu muje bhi haq hai apni zindagi apni mohabbat ke sath guzarne ka"
"Laiken Javed..."
"Koi laiken nahi, maine tumse tumhara jawab manga tha, ye nahi poocha tha ke log kya kahan ge, tum muje pasand karti ho mere liye ye zyada zaroori hai log jo bhi sochte hain unhan sochne do".