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Was I Wrong?

When I look back at the turn of events it still feels as surreal to me now as it did then.

I am a 28 year old professional now living in USA. My family moved here during my school days so I believe I have enjoyed the best of both worlds. Strong cultural foundation with a liberal level headedness – a balance that allows me to continue to look forward without letting me forget my heritage. Family values were ingrained in all of us and were taught that family comes first. We lived in suburbs in a Desi community with other Indian and Pakistani families. Several of my relatives lived in the neighborhood so we never felt that we were away from home.


This experience involves my cousin, Sonia who happens to be a year older than me and is my mom's sister's daughter. My mother's family is very close-knit so there were a lot of family gatherings and although everyone had their own place, it was almost like living in a join family. Sonia and I got along fairly well. We were a group of almost 10 around the same ages, we to the same school, and at times studying together. The older cousins helped the younger ones with homework. Life was good. As we were finishing high school, it was norm that we would enroll in the state university which happened to be in the same city. Sonia graduated a year before me and enrolled in the business program for her BS. I was a fairly good student and my high school and placement tests allowed me a scholarship to go out of state. This was a first and I jumped at the chance, not only because I was going to a better school, but also this would be my first real taste of freedom.


I went out of state and enrolled in the engineering program (hey I am Desi after all!). College life was great. I made many great and fast friends. I lived with another couple of guys in an off-campus apartment. We studied hard and we played hard. Had our share of parties and of course our share of all-nighters. But all through this, I kept in touch with everyone back with regular visits, phones, emails. Sonia and I exchanged our share of emails and phones and with time we realized that we could relate better with each other than anyone of our other cousins. We actually became friends – best friends infact.


During my third year, as Sonia was preparing to graduate, her professors started to encourage her to go into a graduate program. She started shopping around for a university with assistantship opportunities and actually received one from my university. Her parents were hesitant to send her out of state but knowing that I was there too, they gave her the OK. So, when I started my final year, Sonia joined my university as a Doctoral student.


I helped her find an apartment in the same complex and she found a couple of desi girls for roommates. As this was my final year, I was extremely busy stressing over finals and of course my graduate school programs. I wasn't able to spend that much time with Sonia, but all of us (me, Sonia, and our roommates) usually ate dinner together, especially on the weekends. Towards the end of the year, my professor gave ma a full scholarship to get my doctorate by doing research for him so I readily accepted. One of my roommates got the same deal, but the other one decided to join the work force. So my future was set for the next 4-5 years. I took the summer off and went home. I spent the first half traveling and enjoying my break and during the second half the family decided to have a reunion party to Sonia flew back too for the rest of the summer.


When the summer ended, Sonia and I decided to drive to the university together. It was a very long journey but we decided to make an adventure out of it. We took rest stops and nature breaks, listened to songs, but most we talked a lot about the three years we had missed out. She got me caught up with her life. We talked about family politics and, of course, we talked about relationships. As expected I started teasing her about potential affairs and she just said, "you think I'm going to get a chance for a boyfriend with the whole family on my back!"


I said "touché"


"But I bet you have had your share of girlfriends haven't you" she quipped.


Starting to feel a bit hot under the collar "I said, well let's just say I've grown up a lot on my four years in college and had my share of fun." Since just started laughing with that intriguing look on her face.


Anyway, the year started and both were back to our lives. We had our circle own of friends but we hung out a lot more together. Either in groups or just us. I'm very physically active so I got her started on going to the gym. She was already in great shape but gym is a great place for stress relief and relaxations. I trained her on lifting weights for toning and she was always an avid swimmer. Probably why she was so graceful all the time. Soon, she was looking like a total knock out. In fact that became more evident by the constant teasing remarks that both our roommates started giving her.


Well this is where is all went on a tangent. One day while in the gym, Sonia pulled her upper back muscle and totally stiffened her back. She had trouble lifting her arms and also moving her neck. The University doctor said that as a muscular injury it would take time to heal and she needed massage therapy. She was scheduled for massages with the nurse two times a week. Her therapy went for a moth but her progress was slow. She was almost always in pain and starting to get depressed. Since her physical activities were limited she spent most her time in school or at the apartment.


One weekend while watching a late night movie with the group at my place her back really started hurting and I noticed her eyes welling with tears, so I took her to my room and make her lie down. Looking at her I decided to stay with her and I started consoling her. As a very active person myself, I was no stranger to muscular injury and so I offered to massage her back. I had learned a few tricks from my oriental friends with whom I used to take martial arts. So I had Sonia lie on her stomach and started gently massaging her back while chatting idly.


This was the first time I had touched Sonia in this manner and I must admit her body felt wonderful to my fingers. She was dressed in a t shirt and pajama pants. I could feel the tenseness of her muscles on her shoulder as I gently kneaded muscles in slow circles. She stopped crying and started to relax a little. I got up and reach for a tube of muscle relaxing cream (A heat cream like deepheat/Bengay called Icyhot). I applied some on my finger tip, and slid my hand under the t-shirt and started to apply the cream. I didn't want her t-shirt getting messy so I asked her to pull the t-shirt up. She hesitated a minute then pulled it up. She was wearing a black cotton bra. I continue to massage the cream into her muscles and could feel the relaxing to my touch.


At this point is where my hormones started clouding my judgment. I was enjoying massaging Sonia. He more I massaged, the sexier her back started to look, so I decided to give in to my devil and said "I'm started to mess your bra straps with the cream and I'm not able to massage you as well as I should. Mind unhooking it?"


She didn't move or say anything. Since she didn't outright reject the notion I pushed forward. "Let me turn the lights off."


Sonia turned hr head and looked at me. I was making a very concerned face desperate to hide my ulterior motives and said "I don't know…"


I looked around my room and found my bandana (long handkerchief) hanging on my study chair. "Let me blindfold myself, this way I won't see anything."


"How will you massage me?"


I just smiled as said "I massage with my hands and fingers, I don't need my eyes for it." Sonia smiled brightly and agreed readily.


I got up from the bed, grabbed the bandana and turn off the lights. The room was dimly light from the outside street lights, so I was walked back to the bed and tied the bandana around my eyes. "Ok, I'm ready" I said.


Sonia checked to make sure that I couldn't see anything, waving her hand in front of the eyes, holding up fingers and even checked to make sure my eyes were indeed covered. The she said ok. When I felt her back again the t-shirt was pulled up to her neck and her bra was unhooked and straps off her shoulders. I smiled to myself and started to massage her again. Feeling the totally uncovered back with my fingers making me feel hotter by the second. We continue to chat normally and after a while I said that t-shirt was covered her shoulder and suggested that she could take it off.


She said "I'm not getting topless"


I just said, "Well I can't see anything, and without your t-shirt I will be able to give you a much more thorough massage."


She was silent for a while and I could feel that she was seriously considering my offer. Finally she said "Ok, but please don't tell anyone."


I just said seriously "Sonia of course not. We're family!"


When she said she was ready, I could feel that not only was he t-shirt off, but her bra was off too.

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