Dawn at Midnight.
Book 2: Blistered Feet. Chapter 2: Sacrament Flames
From the first week of November, I sensed the rumble building up in the house. I started to count my days left in that ivory cage. Same time I was unable to console myself that I was getting freed. I was unaware in every sense as what type of horizon beckons me.
One night Himadri called me on my mobile.
---“How are you, Suchi? Have you slept already?”
I got a new name, “Suchi”, for my in-laws.
I answered---“No. I was about to goto bed.”
He hesitated for a moment and asked me---“Can we meet this Sunday?”
---“You will come from Dhanbad to here?”
---“What is the harm? I have few unanswered queries. Just need to clear with you and also we need to understand each other. Right Suchi? A single acquaintance does not speak volumes.”
---“Why don’t you come to my house then? ChotoMa and Babu will also be happy.”
He joked at me---“Feeling insecure?”
I was unfazed on his reactions---“No. But I have to ask ChotoMa.”
---“No need of that, I have already talked to her. She will let you go. I will come to your house and then we can go out somewhere.”
I answered---“If you have already taken the permission, then there is no need to ask me. You have not asked me whether I would like to go or not.”
Probably my answer offended him a bit. I also felt that the answer was little rude.
I apologized to him---“Sorry. I was bit rude.”
---“Come on, Suchi. Don’t be so formal.”
On that Sunday, he took me out. I was in blue salwar suit. I dressed myself in total simplicity. Without any heavy makeup, I tied my hair in a soft bun. He was in a pair of blue denim and a white shirt.
We were sitting Aheli in Peerless Inn.
He asked me---“ChotoMa is your cousin sister, right?”
I nodded my head “Yes”
---“So why do you call her ChotoMa?”
---“She is like my mother.”
He nodded his head “Ok. I have to tell you something about me”
I looked at him and constricted my brows. I was skeptical as what was he going to divulge.
---“I drink a little and smoke also.”
“Ok” I nodded my head. “I think that is due to your work pressure.”
He smiled at me and said---“You understand everything.”
I smiled back at him.
---“Where would you like to go after our marriage? I have heard that you love hill station, so would where would like to go?”
I spoke softly---“No I don’t love hill-station. My head aches due to the serpentine narrow roads.”
I lied to him, I did not want to go to any hill-station, and the hills would remind me of my lost Unicorn.
“Ok then we will goto Andaman then” he smiled. “I was also thinking of going to Andaman for a long time.”
He paused a bit and then asked a question.
He asked---“Your ChotoMa has a son. Where is he? Is he going to attend your wedding?”
His query shook the root of my heart. I clenched my fist under the table so as the emotions do not overcome my smiling face.
I looked down to the plate and shook my head “I do not know.”
---“Ok. By the way what colour would you suggest for a car?”
I was surprised by his question. He looked in my face and asked me again.
I asked---“You are buying a new car?”
---“Yes I am. Maruti Baleno.”
I understood from the sly smile that the car was a dowry, given to him to buy my security. A thick stream of blood raced to my head. My nose flared up.
I said to myself “What all debt I have to bore on this small painful heart.”
I told him that I was not feeling well and I would like to return.
He obliged to my request and took me back.
After he left, ChotoMa and Babu called me in their room. There was file opened in front of him.
He showed me few papers and said---“These are some papers.”
He handed me a account book and said that---“It contains some bank balance in your name, which your mother deposited for you.”
He then handed me few fixed deposit papers and said---“Your property share has been sold of seven lakhs rupees. I have added more three lakhs and that make it a total of ten lakhs rupees.”
I sat on the bed and looked at those papers and then I asked to ChotoMa---“Are you giving a car in dowry?”
ChotoMa looked at me and asked---“Who told you?”
“Tell me the answer. Are you giving a car or not? Is that car is the price of my security?” My voice sounded very stern when I asked them.
Babu spoke in a persuading voice---“Paree, it is not a dowry. We had to gift you something special as we looked after you as our own. I thought that why not a car. Half of which he is going to take loan from his office.”
“What more burden of debt you all are going to put over my shoulder?” I spoke in a cold voice.
ChotoMa rubbed her palm on my head. I was very uncomfortable at that moment.
I yelled out at her---“Leave me. Do whatever you want, whatever you like. No need to consult me or ask me even.”
Few days after that, Himadri and Niladri came to our house. We all went to a Maruti Suzuki showroom in Park street. Himadri asked me as what colour would I prefer for my car. A Maruti Baleno was to be presented to Himadri. “Present or price for my security?”
I smiled and said---“I have no choice of colours. Whatever you feel better, you can have that.”
He hugged me gently by my shoulder and said---“Come on! Suchi. White or black? Black is better.”
Niladri said---“White is good, but the scratches will be easily noticed. Lets prefer the steel colour.”
He looked at me and said---“After all Boudi’s choice has to be preferred. What is your choice?”
I nodded my head like a timid girl and gave my acknowledgement for the black colour, so as not to hurt Himadri. His gaze was expressing that I should choose black, whatever be it in my mind.
On second week of November, Maithili arrived at our house.
She stayed by my side till the moment I sat before the sacrament pyre and I was “Mrs. Suchismita Karmakar”.
Shopping was on its full fledged mode. I did not accompany in any occasion of those shopping. Only once, I accompanied ChotoMa when she went to buy the red “Benarasi” saree. ChotoMa and Maithili did most of the shopping. I kept myself busy with the house chores and reading books. I could not think of anything. Most of the time my mind went blank.
I called Teesta and Delisha and informed them that I was getting married. They were very happy to hear that news.
One day Debobroto and Teesta arrived to my house. We all were sitting in my room, Maithili was also present.
Teesta asked me---“So at last our Mita is getting married.”
An unknown fear and pain wringed inside my chest.
Maithili looked at my face and answered to Teesta---“You are her friends, right.”
Teesta could not understand as what she meant to say. She nodded her head “Yes.”
Maithili gave a blank reply---“Nothing as such. Just asking”
One evening, ChotoMa and Babu called me to their room. They asked me to sit as they need to tell me something very important. I looked at them and was anxious as what would they say.
ChotoMa spoke---“Paree, we both know what we are doing for you. We have something to tell you as you will be stepping in a new realm of your life.”
I asked them---“What?”
ChotoMa said to me---“Just by meeting for few days, we cannot know how a person is or how the family is. This is the truth. Everyone has got a mask on their faces. As we keep on moving in our lives, we come to know about those persons.”
I was not clear as what they were trying to make me understand so I asked again---“Why are you telling these to me? I know that where I am going is a total new horizon for me. I will try my level best to cope with their family.”
She soothed my cheek and said---“Why I am telling these, is. Himadri works in a coal mine and stays with his parents. His father is a coal contractor. So it is hard to say how their mentality would be. But we all hope for the best. You have got a good bank balance and fixed deposits. Don’t divulge all those details, till you find a appropriate time. Understood?”
Tears almost engulfed my eyes. I looked at Babu and said---“You fixed my marriage and now you are saying that you are not sure as what type of family they are?”
I bit my lower lips and looked at ChotoMa and said to her---“What do you want me to do?”
She touched my palm and said---“Be quiet, don’t cry. After your marriage all I want that, you need to pester Himadri so that he can take a transfer to Kolkata in head office of Coal India Limited. You will be near me, in-front of me.”
I shook my head in dismay, clenched my jaws “ChotoMa, what are you doing? You have lost your son that does not mean that you can take away another son from his mother like this.”
She probably understood what I wanted to say---“Paree. Whatever I am saying is for your good only.”
I sobbed out---“ChotoMa, you know very well what was good for me. Please don’t hurt me more.”
Babu was unable to take anything more so he left the room.
ChotoMa took my face, her eyes were also hazy---“What you ask for, I can’t oblige that. That is a not done, Paree. Why don’t you try to understand? Everyone will curse me.”
I removed her hand from my face in angst and pain---“Please leave me.”
I walked out of the room, wiping my tears. My heart was paining.
Gradually the close relatives started pouring in. Indrani Di and her family arrived few days before my wedding. Chandrani Di also arrived with her family. Shasanko Da, Meghna and Dushtu also arrived.
The day Dushtu came, I was unable to meet his queer juvenile eyes. “Did he understood what was going inside my heart.”
He asked me once---“Abhi uncle is not coming?”
I ruffled his silky hair and shook my head “No.
Book 2: Blistered Feet. Chapter 2: Sacrament Flames
From the first week of November, I sensed the rumble building up in the house. I started to count my days left in that ivory cage. Same time I was unable to console myself that I was getting freed. I was unaware in every sense as what type of horizon beckons me.
One night Himadri called me on my mobile.
---“How are you, Suchi? Have you slept already?”
I got a new name, “Suchi”, for my in-laws.
I answered---“No. I was about to goto bed.”
He hesitated for a moment and asked me---“Can we meet this Sunday?”
---“You will come from Dhanbad to here?”
---“What is the harm? I have few unanswered queries. Just need to clear with you and also we need to understand each other. Right Suchi? A single acquaintance does not speak volumes.”
---“Why don’t you come to my house then? ChotoMa and Babu will also be happy.”
He joked at me---“Feeling insecure?”
I was unfazed on his reactions---“No. But I have to ask ChotoMa.”
---“No need of that, I have already talked to her. She will let you go. I will come to your house and then we can go out somewhere.”
I answered---“If you have already taken the permission, then there is no need to ask me. You have not asked me whether I would like to go or not.”
Probably my answer offended him a bit. I also felt that the answer was little rude.
I apologized to him---“Sorry. I was bit rude.”
---“Come on, Suchi. Don’t be so formal.”
On that Sunday, he took me out. I was in blue salwar suit. I dressed myself in total simplicity. Without any heavy makeup, I tied my hair in a soft bun. He was in a pair of blue denim and a white shirt.
We were sitting Aheli in Peerless Inn.
He asked me---“ChotoMa is your cousin sister, right?”
I nodded my head “Yes”
---“So why do you call her ChotoMa?”
---“She is like my mother.”
He nodded his head “Ok. I have to tell you something about me”
I looked at him and constricted my brows. I was skeptical as what was he going to divulge.
---“I drink a little and smoke also.”
“Ok” I nodded my head. “I think that is due to your work pressure.”
He smiled at me and said---“You understand everything.”
I smiled back at him.
---“Where would you like to go after our marriage? I have heard that you love hill station, so would where would like to go?”
I spoke softly---“No I don’t love hill-station. My head aches due to the serpentine narrow roads.”
I lied to him, I did not want to go to any hill-station, and the hills would remind me of my lost Unicorn.
“Ok then we will goto Andaman then” he smiled. “I was also thinking of going to Andaman for a long time.”
He paused a bit and then asked a question.
He asked---“Your ChotoMa has a son. Where is he? Is he going to attend your wedding?”
His query shook the root of my heart. I clenched my fist under the table so as the emotions do not overcome my smiling face.
I looked down to the plate and shook my head “I do not know.”
---“Ok. By the way what colour would you suggest for a car?”
I was surprised by his question. He looked in my face and asked me again.
I asked---“You are buying a new car?”
---“Yes I am. Maruti Baleno.”
I understood from the sly smile that the car was a dowry, given to him to buy my security. A thick stream of blood raced to my head. My nose flared up.
I said to myself “What all debt I have to bore on this small painful heart.”
I told him that I was not feeling well and I would like to return.
He obliged to my request and took me back.
After he left, ChotoMa and Babu called me in their room. There was file opened in front of him.
He showed me few papers and said---“These are some papers.”
He handed me a account book and said that---“It contains some bank balance in your name, which your mother deposited for you.”
He then handed me few fixed deposit papers and said---“Your property share has been sold of seven lakhs rupees. I have added more three lakhs and that make it a total of ten lakhs rupees.”
I sat on the bed and looked at those papers and then I asked to ChotoMa---“Are you giving a car in dowry?”
ChotoMa looked at me and asked---“Who told you?”
“Tell me the answer. Are you giving a car or not? Is that car is the price of my security?” My voice sounded very stern when I asked them.
Babu spoke in a persuading voice---“Paree, it is not a dowry. We had to gift you something special as we looked after you as our own. I thought that why not a car. Half of which he is going to take loan from his office.”
“What more burden of debt you all are going to put over my shoulder?” I spoke in a cold voice.
ChotoMa rubbed her palm on my head. I was very uncomfortable at that moment.
I yelled out at her---“Leave me. Do whatever you want, whatever you like. No need to consult me or ask me even.”
Few days after that, Himadri and Niladri came to our house. We all went to a Maruti Suzuki showroom in Park street. Himadri asked me as what colour would I prefer for my car. A Maruti Baleno was to be presented to Himadri. “Present or price for my security?”
I smiled and said---“I have no choice of colours. Whatever you feel better, you can have that.”
He hugged me gently by my shoulder and said---“Come on! Suchi. White or black? Black is better.”
Niladri said---“White is good, but the scratches will be easily noticed. Lets prefer the steel colour.”
He looked at me and said---“After all Boudi’s choice has to be preferred. What is your choice?”
I nodded my head like a timid girl and gave my acknowledgement for the black colour, so as not to hurt Himadri. His gaze was expressing that I should choose black, whatever be it in my mind.
On second week of November, Maithili arrived at our house.
She stayed by my side till the moment I sat before the sacrament pyre and I was “Mrs. Suchismita Karmakar”.
Shopping was on its full fledged mode. I did not accompany in any occasion of those shopping. Only once, I accompanied ChotoMa when she went to buy the red “Benarasi” saree. ChotoMa and Maithili did most of the shopping. I kept myself busy with the house chores and reading books. I could not think of anything. Most of the time my mind went blank.
I called Teesta and Delisha and informed them that I was getting married. They were very happy to hear that news.
One day Debobroto and Teesta arrived to my house. We all were sitting in my room, Maithili was also present.
Teesta asked me---“So at last our Mita is getting married.”
An unknown fear and pain wringed inside my chest.
Maithili looked at my face and answered to Teesta---“You are her friends, right.”
Teesta could not understand as what she meant to say. She nodded her head “Yes.”
Maithili gave a blank reply---“Nothing as such. Just asking”
One evening, ChotoMa and Babu called me to their room. They asked me to sit as they need to tell me something very important. I looked at them and was anxious as what would they say.
ChotoMa spoke---“Paree, we both know what we are doing for you. We have something to tell you as you will be stepping in a new realm of your life.”
I asked them---“What?”
ChotoMa said to me---“Just by meeting for few days, we cannot know how a person is or how the family is. This is the truth. Everyone has got a mask on their faces. As we keep on moving in our lives, we come to know about those persons.”
I was not clear as what they were trying to make me understand so I asked again---“Why are you telling these to me? I know that where I am going is a total new horizon for me. I will try my level best to cope with their family.”
She soothed my cheek and said---“Why I am telling these, is. Himadri works in a coal mine and stays with his parents. His father is a coal contractor. So it is hard to say how their mentality would be. But we all hope for the best. You have got a good bank balance and fixed deposits. Don’t divulge all those details, till you find a appropriate time. Understood?”
Tears almost engulfed my eyes. I looked at Babu and said---“You fixed my marriage and now you are saying that you are not sure as what type of family they are?”
I bit my lower lips and looked at ChotoMa and said to her---“What do you want me to do?”
She touched my palm and said---“Be quiet, don’t cry. After your marriage all I want that, you need to pester Himadri so that he can take a transfer to Kolkata in head office of Coal India Limited. You will be near me, in-front of me.”
I shook my head in dismay, clenched my jaws “ChotoMa, what are you doing? You have lost your son that does not mean that you can take away another son from his mother like this.”
She probably understood what I wanted to say---“Paree. Whatever I am saying is for your good only.”
I sobbed out---“ChotoMa, you know very well what was good for me. Please don’t hurt me more.”
Babu was unable to take anything more so he left the room.
ChotoMa took my face, her eyes were also hazy---“What you ask for, I can’t oblige that. That is a not done, Paree. Why don’t you try to understand? Everyone will curse me.”
I removed her hand from my face in angst and pain---“Please leave me.”
I walked out of the room, wiping my tears. My heart was paining.
Gradually the close relatives started pouring in. Indrani Di and her family arrived few days before my wedding. Chandrani Di also arrived with her family. Shasanko Da, Meghna and Dushtu also arrived.
The day Dushtu came, I was unable to meet his queer juvenile eyes. “Did he understood what was going inside my heart.”
He asked me once---“Abhi uncle is not coming?”
I ruffled his silky hair and shook my head “No.